On My Part...

Ice cold~

2012-01-17T02:11:00.002+10:00

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine forwarded an email to me containing one man's idea on an issue in relation to our Muslim community. The author was discussing on what he thought as a growing trend among Muslimah today. It was on 'hijabster'. I later found out that the article was published at free malaysia today webpage.

The term 'hijabster' was made up by combining the word hijab and hipster. And so, if you take a direct translations of the two words, you will begin to understand that hijabster is basically Muslimah wearing hijab and which they follow the latest trend in the so-called hijab world.

Among other things that was discussed by the author was on the new speech style of these hijabster and places where they hang out. In a way, the author trying to stress out that these group of Muslimah simply wanted to look cooler. He gave his credit to both Yuna and Tajima as the cream of the hijabster MOVEMENT.

I remembered in one of the sittings which I had a few years back on hijab, I couldn't help but to feel admiration plus envy towards the women of Ansar. Envy of their strong conviction.. their Iman. It is said that when the verse of Surah An-Nur verse 31 was revealed, i.e. "...let them draw their veils over their bosoms...", upon hearing this, the women of Ansar quickly grabbed any available cloth and even to the extent of ripping apart their outer garment to make a veil out of it. They didn't even stop for a second to question it. They listened and obey the command of Allah. They were so convinced that what ever comes from Allah is no other than to benefit mankind.

Nowadays, even among us muslims, we questioned a lot. We needed to be convinced in almost everything before we finally agree to abide by the stated rules. In the case of hijab, some of the famous questions are; how big is the tudung? what is the length of the tudung? must I cover the neck? and many more.

Truthfully, I have nothing againt the so-called hijabster movement. Not at all. It came to me as "..at least they want to cover their hair". At the same time I am least bothered listening to someone using arabic terms occasionally in their speech while enjoying the cold frozen yogurt at tutti-frutti.

But if it's true as claimed by the author that these group of people trying hard to look cooler, then I think we should all try to answer this question - "How can I make myself looks cool in Allah's eyes?".

In the end, it comes down to one's Nawaitu and lest should we forget the true purpose of wearing hijab. I am quite sure that the women of Ansar looked the coolest in Allah's eyes despite their untrendy unfashionable veil. Wallahu alam...

Now that I've mentioned on tutti-frutti, I have not been there but oh how I am craving to try more of those yummy-licious froyo after having only 3 or 4 spoons of my biras share. LOL... Does that make myself a hijabster then? Nahh.. I guess not. Since I am a die-hard fan of square cotton tudung! :P

And tell the believing women that they (also) should restrain their gaze (from looking at the men whom it is lawful for them to marry, and from others' private parts), and guard their private parts, and that they should not display their charms except that which is revealed of itself; and let them draw their veils over their bosoms, and (tell them) not to display their charms to any save their husbands, or their fathers (and grandfathers, and both paternal and maternal uncles), or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands (both their own and step-sons and grandsons), or their brothers (and foster- and step-brothers), or the sons of their brothers, or the sons of their sisters, or the Muslim women and the women of good conduct with whom they associate, or those (slave-girls) their right hands possess, or the male attendants in their service free of sexual desire, or children that are as yet unaware of femininity. Nor should they stamp their feet (i. e. act in such a manner as to) draw attention to their charms (and arouse the passion of men). And, O believers, turn to God all together in repentance that you may attain true prosperity. (Al-Quran 24:31)

It's 2012 already~

2012-01-11T15:00:00.001+10:00

I have just got to break the shell for 2012.

3 days before new year, I was thinking to put a summary entry for 2011. Half way through, I decided not to post it up anyway. It sounded too dramatic :P...

Then I told myself that I would put an entry to mark the first entry of 2012 on new year. But due to hectic schedule for the last 3 weeks, I didn't manage to keep my words.

And so today, while I was in the midst of completing marking my students' final, I had my laptop fixed on a social webpage which then led me reading one blog after another. In a way, it came to me as a wake up call of bilanya-nak-update-blog. To Jam, congratulations on the good news! :)

For most people, new year means new resolutions. Then again how many of us actually made resolutions but ended up not meeting them? I have kept mine simple this year.

I was actually inspired by this one sister. When she offered me a ride to the office two months ago, she informed me of her target to help at least one person each day. Then just this morning, I stumbled on this short video on the youtube on Kindness boomerang. It's true, you could never tell what or how your random act of kindness could impact on someone else's life. Happy watching!

Monday Blues~~~

2011-12-19T11:05:00.007+10:00

There's actually nothing about Monday blues :P. Sorry to trick you into it. I promise you it will be very quick. The reason for this post is because of the urge of 'I-just-have-got-to-share-it-here'. Especially to remind myself over and over again laaa..

Indeed, the righteous will be among gardens and springs, Accepting what their Lord has given them. Indeed, they were before that doers of good. They used to sleep but little of the night, And in the hours before dawn they would ask forgiveness, And from their properties was [given] the right of the [needy] petitioner and the deprived.(Quran 51:15-19)

Yes Amelia... to sleep little. *clear throat*... But bukan sleep little by spending time watching anime ker.. or korean drama series ker.. the answer is on verse 18....

Verse 18 highlights the greatness of the one-third of the night "And in the hours before dawn they would ask forgiveness". It is narrated by Abu Hurairah r.a.:

Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) said, "Our Lord, the Blessed, the Superior, comes every night down on the nearest Heaven to us when the last third of the night remains, saying: "Is there anyone to invoke Me, so that I may respond to invocation? Is there anyone to ask Me, so that I may grant him his request? Is there anyone seeking My forgiveness, so that I may forgive him?" (Sahih Bukhari)

You see~~ He is always waiting for us. To forgive us. I love you Allah!

And to the last verse.. since my Arabic is close to zero, I have also searched for other translations too. In one of the translations, verse 19 was translated as "...to give to those needy who 'asked' (for Sadaqah) and to those who did not 'asked' (for Sadaqah). Aaaa... if you haven't paid your Zakat.. silalah do so ye. Zakat pendapatan.. zakat simpanan.. zakat emas or perak... That goes to me too. Got to do it soon too. :P Trust me, you will never go bankrupt by giving your portion. Instead Allah has promised to give you more in return. ;)

That's it. Back to work everyone... Enjoy your Monday! :D Told you it's going to be quick!

What???!

2011-12-09T12:04:00.003+10:00

So yesterday, on our way back home, Insyirah, Ibrahim and I played the 'I imagine' game which was pretty much adapted from the 'I spy' game. How did Ibrahim play? Well.. I did the asking and the talking.. on behalf of Ibrahim.. :P

Not too long after that, Yaby decided to join in. And so he asked..

Yaby: I imagine... something tall.. orange.. and love to eat leaves...

Insyirah: GIRAFFE!

Everyone: Yeay!!!~~

Yaby: I imagine... something that lives in the sea... big and... and wear purple colour underpants...

Me: WHAT??!!

Insyirah: A PUFFER FISH!!!

Yaby and Insyirah: Yeay!!!~~

Yes yes.. I know.. I know.. where's the link to it? Well you see, if you have kids and have come across the 'word world', you might have seen in one of the episodes where the Duck trying to sing the twinkle-twinkle little stars song. But because, Duck was too nervous, he sang something like "Twinkle-twinkle little ANTs.. I'm wearing purple underpants..." (<-- heard Insyirah sing it many2 times and laugh her heart out). And so since then, Insyirah was obsessed with "purple underpants"!!! The latest victim of her somewhat crazy imagination was that to have a puffer fish wearing a purple underpants. And so, that is the answer to your query... hehehehe....

Good.. good.. good...

2011-12-02T17:54:00.003+10:00

It's Friday!! I know.. I know.. the best day in the whole week.. :)

Anyway.. I would like to share something which I 'freshly' got from my usrah today. Allow me.. :)

Remember the famous tag line of;

"sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum melainkan mereka berusaha untuk mengubahnya sendiri.."

Before this, I have always understand this lines as - Allah will only help those who help themselves. In other words, it is you who determine your state of life whether to work for the greater good or the total opposite. Full stop. Nothing more.. nothing less. Who are with me?

But you see, in surah Surah Ar-Ra'd verse 11, it's translation says;

"For each (person), there are angels in succession, before and behind him. They guard him by the Command of Allah. Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves (by committing sins and by being ungrateful and disobedient to Allah). But when Allah wills a people's punishment, there can be no turning back of it, and they will find besides Him no protector."

I suggest you read the translation again. Did you see it now?

In this verse, it starts off by saying that for everyone of us, by the Command of Allah, there are angels guarding us in succession. It means that not for even a blink of an eye that we are left without angels guarding us. These angels are in front of us and behind us. After this statement comes the famous translation. Only now, we have to see it from a different angle. It says, "Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves (by committing sins and by being ungrateful and disobedient to Allah)".

What it is saying is that, by default, everyone is in good condition. Allah has prepared us with His best bodyguard and giving us only the best. But due to mistakes that we have done whether by committing sins or just being ungrateful, then only we change our state from good to bad. In other words, it is by our bad doings which has led us into bad state.

I guess the only solution to bring ourselves back on track i.e. the good condition is by doing more good and seboleh mungkin avoid the not so good. ;)

Happy Friday!!!

***

Important note: The first quote still stands as it is. Both quotes are to be used in a totally different contexts. ;)

Bye-bye Friendster blog~

2011-11-30T15:59:00.001+10:00

I just realised that Friendster has shut down which also means that I have also lost most of my blog entries I put up there. I even tried google and yahoo cached, but to no avail.. Sigh~~ You see, my BIL did say this once to me" K Amelia ada save tak blog ni. If server online off semua post K Amelia hilang.". I said 'most' because I did copy paste some entries after hearing Imi saying that. Aiya~~ Takpe laa.. nak buat macam mana.. Sigh~~

Quick Post!

2011-11-26T09:32:00.000+10:00

Who watched Tanyalah Ustaz yesterday??? What would be more interesting if you have actually watched it together with your spouse. :)

For those who missed out since some would have to leave home for work before 8am, the topic was on 'Suburkan Mahabbah (kasih sayang, cinta and etc)' between husband and wife. Probably if you've missed it and want to watch it, I think there should be the tv archive for all of the Tanyalah Ustaz episodes.

I couldn't agree more when the Ustaz described the responsibilities of the two parties. There was one story which the Ustaz shares which I found pretty 'amazing'. It was the first time I ever to hear it. Memanglah nampak gayanya I should read more books. Anyway, the story was about a man who couldn't bear any longer the lecturing of his wife. So one day, he decided to meet Umar to get an advice. As we all know, Umar was well known for being 'fierce'. When the man reached Umar's house, he saw Umar was being lectured by his (Umar's) wife. Seeing this, the man decided to leave. As he was about to leave, Umar called out for him and asked the reason he came. The man explained to Umar of his intentions of getting advice on how to stop his wife from lecturing. Hearing this, Umar answered (allow me to write of what I remember in Malay as the Ustaz had expressed in the show ye.. hehe);

"apa salahnya mendengar apa yang mereka ingin katakan. Dialah yang telah menjaga makan minumku, tempat tinggalku, pakaianku, mengandung dan menjaga anak-anakku.."

How sweet of Umar is that???!! :D

I have actually tried to search the full version of this hadith but have not found it. If I am not mistaken, the Ustaz mentioned it was reported by Abu Dawud. I'll include it in this post later when I bumped into the hadith insyaAllah.

In the end, the Ustaz concluded the topic in three main points;

Be a good listener
Learn to appreciate
Praise your partner

It is always nice to be reminded on this matter every now and then kan? Especially on the lecturing part :P HohoHOHOHohohOHOHOHoho :P

My Birthday Entry~

2011-11-21T22:19:00.001+10:00

Is that time again! Happy birthday to me! :) Thank you all for all the Doa and birthday wishes! :D

As usual, I have always used this time of the year to ponder on what I've done so far... all the good, the bad and ugly... :P

Since this would be my last birthday entry before I will say bye bye to number '2' and hello to number '3' (my.. my.. my.. I am THAT old), I should make it somewhat unforgettable. Chewah! HohOoHOhohoHO...

Many have happened over the past one year. From having Ibrahim to moving to our own place to having my first batch of students and to finally getting the PhD. Those were some of the UP moments. There is one other which ultimately the highlight of my year.

What was it? Unfortunately I couldn't share the story with all of you. But what I could do is to share the lessons I've learnt from it.

As Allah has promised in His Holy Book in Surah Al-Baqarah verse 286;

Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned...

I first heard of the sad news in 2004. I was only a few weeks after coming back from the UK for good when I received that grieving call. It was heartbreaking and I must say that I too was shattered as much as the people involved... especially when it happened to the people close and dear to you. During that hard times, I had seen how fragile human can be without His guidance. At the verge of hardship, one's heart could easily waver and break. But with His help and blessing, the selected few gain strength and continue to be at peace. What took place also shows me how greed and lust could take everything that is good and destroy happiness. It also opens my eyes on how much we should always put Allah's love above all. Never ever ever ever on anything else.

Alhamdulillah, mid this year, I celebrated the good news. They have been hopeful and waited 8 years for the great news to come. I must say that I witnessed the truth in Allah's words when He said;

And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided. - (Al-Quran 2:186)

He reiterate the above point LOUD and CLEAR again in Surah Ghafir verse 60 ;

And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you. ..."

for we are only human and without His help we human could only do so little. And how do we ask for help? Yup, by continuously making Doa. He might not answer your prayer immediately, but insyaAllah in time, it will surely come. Have faith. ;)

Last but no least, I also learnt that no matter what happen to us, be it good or bad, it is from Allah for a reason. Not to weaken us but to strengthen us. And yes, to never ever ever ever bersangka-buruk to Him since He will be what we expect of Him. If you think good of Him, that's how He'll be and vice versa.

I guess, this will do laa kan. Hehehe.. Thank you again for all your lovely wishes and Doa! XOXO~

Ya Allah, kami bersyukur atas segala nikmat dan kurniaan yang Engkau telah berikan. Kau tetapkanlah hati-hati kami ini pada jalan yang lurus. Matikanlah kami ketika mana kami berada dalam sebaik-baik Iman ya Allah. Sesungguhnya ibadah kami, hidup kami, mati kami hanya kerana-Mu ya Allah. Amin amin amin Ya Rabb alamin...

Love YOU!

2011-11-16T17:11:00.002+10:00

At Cherating IEEP2011

This is a late entry. Ibrahim turned ONE two days ago! He's ONE!!! Ummi loves you Ibrahim!!!

From me to you...

2011-10-31T01:00:00.002+10:00

Last Friday I was in a bad shape and had to stay in. But the good thing was, I had a chance to finally watch the Oprah Winfrey farewell final episode.

I remember watching Oprah as a kid. Like many, I found most of her show very interesting and have always been looking forward to the next week's episode.

One of her final remarks that comes to me as a clear shot straight to the bull's eye was when she said something about 'validation'. She said that in all of her shows, there is one thing in common that is - we all wanted validation. Quoting her, "...They want to know, do you hear me? Do you see me? Does what I say mean anything to you?..."

I first realised this back then when I had a chat with my elder sister when I was abroad. As usual, family chat could go from one end to another and so I couldn't realy recall how we came out with the point. My dear sister, one very observant sister, said that she realised that I had always been doing something to prove something to my dad. She then start with all the "do you remember when.." until she thought she had said enough to make her point loud and clear. I guess, I must have amplified my sense of 'in need of validation' without realising it. :p

You see, at the age of eight we moved to Klang. But Daddy wasn't always around since he was still working in Pahang. And so I only saw him during weekends or long holidays. Probably, I had been trying to achieve many things just to stand out in his eyes. Probably I have been craving for Daddy's validation. Not that Daddy is a wicked dad like in some movies who couldn't care less. I guess Daddy is just being a man originally from Mars.. doing a guy thing i.e. sitting in their own cave and don't really know how to show they care. Now that I am married, I realised that without a doubt Yaby's validation is what I want most. Obviously laa kan... Please la Yaby ye, master the art of validating ye... HohohHOhoHOHOho...

It is just so true isn't it. To some degree, we all just wanted to be heard. To be cherished. To know that we are a valid friend. To be told that we have made up someone else's day. To have someone care enough to ask how we are doing with life and etc. Watching Ibrahim pushing himself forward faster when his named was called as well as seeing Insyirah drew even more upon receiving some pep talk from her Ya-yah proves that we have if not ARE doing it all the time.

Now, assuming you have received validation each and everyday from your spouse, your parents, your kids, your friends, you neighbours, your students.. would that be enough? Hmm.. Hehe... it meant to be a tricky question. Now, imagine getting a validation from your Creator... knowing that your solat is accepted.. knowing that you are going to be with Him in Paradise... KAN?!!! How great is that?! Hmmm... When it comes to this, we can only try our best and pray that with His blessing would could all secure Jannah insyaallah.

In our teaching, one of the many important hadiths is on Nawaitu i.e. intention. It is said that, everything you do comes back to your intention. We must always have a clear intention for one will receive what one has intended for. I hope that my Niat of having this blog has not been tainted. I must say thank you to YOU (you know who you are :D) for giving me your validation on this blog. I want you to know that I am very happy to know that you care to read and listen to what I want to share. I must say though, that all that is good is from Him and yang merapu itu are from my weaknesses. I know I can never match Oprah :P.. but with His help I'll continue to write.. insyaAllah...

Quick Post!

2011-10-18T16:05:00.000+10:00

Wanna guess? Judging by the appearance of this book, how 'old' do you think this book is?

a) More than a year

b) Roughly a year

c) Probably 6 months

d) Less than 2 months

If you answered 'd' then you are right. This is all Ibrahim's doing munching his way through the book... :P Mak die tak bagi makan kot...

What's youR doa? :P

2011-10-16T09:01:00.001+10:00

Insyirah was lying awake before I performed Subuh prayer this morning. While I was berdoa, my dear Insyirah decided to follow suit. So she raised her hand and said this:

"O Allah, please make my Mi-Mi happy and healthy.. and make her a good girl... and please don't let my Mi-Mi smash my hands or legs. Amin"

I couldn't hold back my laughter.

First thing first, just to keep the record straight, I did not smacked her hands and legs. What happen was, she has developed this habit of peeling off the skin at the tip of her fingers. In order to make her stop I told her:

"Insyirah, if I caught you peeling off your skin again, I'll take a long ruler and smack your hand"

I guess, she might be extra worried since I've added some actions together with sound effect while saying it. :P

Adeh.. Insyirah.. Insyirah

Where are you my Ustazah...

2011-10-07T17:35:00.000+10:00

Although many agreed that we could get information from the web super fast and at the tip of our finger nail, there is this one 'scope' which I still long for a human 'touch'. It's on relating to Islamic knowledge.

With internet, I could not simply take the first answer found by the search engine. In other words, the internet could not directly give me answers. Firstly, I have to be very sure of the source.. who are they, is there any nas to support the comments. Secondly, you know with matters relating to religion, each time you ask a question, usually after getting a reply, you would have something else that come to your mind that you need confirmation or validation. And this is where internet failed me the most. Sigh~

I don't know about you, but I felt somewhat lost. Yes truthfully, I missed having Ustaz or Ustazah around whom I could bombarded with issues that I am having. As of last week, I became obsessed with the idea of how much handicapped I have become not having the liberty to have someone to answer my questions. It's killing me!!! Oh how I miss my Pendidikan Agama class hour! Not literally but as in having someone to fill me in. I felt that my knowledge in Islam has long been in the same level if not worse - deteriorating. Nauzubillah...

O Allah, please guide us all and continue to give us the chance and the drive to continue seeking for Your knowledge...

ps: After the last post that I published on Chuppa, it is sad to announce that a week after Chuppa was released from the ward, it passed away.

Quick post

2011-09-05T12:20:00.004+10:00

You see, there was once when 6 cats ruled Ummi's backyard. It was not long before one by one was either pass away or gone missing. There are only 3 left.

My dear Insyirah had one incident with one of the cats named Dolly. From time to time she would asked her Nek Lin of the cats whereabouts especially Dolly's though we have repeated to her many times that they are now have gone missing.

So last Saturday during Hari Raya holiday, my dear Insyirah asked the same question again:

Jia: Nek Lin.. where is Dolly? Where is Ma-yi-yo?
Nek Lin: Dolly and Mayo are missing.
Me: They are in heaven now Jia..
Jia: Hmm.. what?
Me: They are in heaven Jia. Do you want to go to heaven?
Jia: No Mi-Mi! I don't want to go to heaven.
Me: Why??!
Jia: Because I am NOT a cat.

Adeh~ of course we all burst out laughing. Sakit perut. Hearing her answer makes me realised that I have not tell her the other 'side' of the stories. Will have to tell her soon. :)

Chuppa was warded on the same day... get well soon Chuppa!!!

In loving memory~ Dolly sleeping very very very close to Mayo's bottom. huhuhu...

Eid 2011~

2011-08-28T02:55:00.000+10:00

In a few more days, it's going to be RAYA! Dah makin besar ni, it occurred to me that I am with mixed feelings - sad and happy. Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to wish all my Muslim readers Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir and Batin. :) Before I wrapped up this entry, I shall leave you guys with two stories which pretty much related to the whole event of Eid i.e. forgiving and visiting one another. And with that, Eid Mubarak! Enjoy the holidays with your loved ones under the blessing of Allah. Hugs! Oh yes, to Chezel, don't forget the Sudirman song OK :P.

Narrated Abu Hurairah R.A:
“One day, Rasulullah SAW was sitting in a gathering. Suddenly, Rasulullah smiled until his front teeth became visible. Then the Sahabah asked “Ya Rasulullah, why are you smiling?”. Rasulullah SAW answered: “I saw two men from my ummah, kneeling in front of Allah. The first man said: “O Allah! I wish to claim what is persecuted by him!” Then Allah said to the second man: “Return what has been taken from him!” The second man answered, “There is nothing left of me O Allah.” And so, the first man said, “Let him carry my sins away from me.” Said Abu Hurairah R.A., “At one point while telling the story of these two men, Rasulullah SAW was in tears and Rasulullah SAW said, “That day will be a big day. On that day, people would want others to carry their sins away from them”. After that Rasulullah SAW said, “Then Allah said to the first main that was persecuted and seeking for his rights: “Try raising your head, look at the heaven above you!” The first man lifted up his head. Then he saw the Allah’s great bounty. And so the first man asked, “O Allah, for who are all these?”
Allah answered: “For those who is willing to pay for its price!”
And the first man asked to Allah: “Who is willing to pay for it O Allah?”
Allah answered: “You!”
The first man asked: “What is the way?”
Allah answered: “By forgiving your brother.”
The first man said: “I forgive him O Allah!”
Then Allah said to him: “Take your brother by his hand and lead him to heaven together.”
Later Rasulullah SAW said, “Because of that, be afraid of Allah and have good tidings among one another.”

**********************

Abu Hurairah reported Allah's Prophet as saying:
"A man visited his (Muslim) brother in another town and Allah deputed an Angel to wait for him on his way and when he came to him he said: Where do you intend to go? He said: I intend to go to my brother in this town. He said: Have you done any favor to him (the repayment of which you intend to get)? He said: No, except this that I love him for the sake of Allah, the Exalted and Glorious. Thereupon he said: I am a Messenger to you from, Allah: (to inform you) that Allah loves you as you love him (for His sake)."

**************************

The wait...

2011-08-26T10:46:00.001+10:00

Almost there,
I claim to gain it,
I've waited,
Shedding bitterness engraved.

Almost there,
I hope to see it,
I've waited,
Wanting no more time wasted.

Almost there,
I trust to have it,
I've waited,
Yearning blessed days ahead.

Almost there,
I pray to keep it,
I've waited,
Dreaming love ever lasted.

I believe,
We are getting there,
God permits,
I don't mind to wait,
It is worth living for...

Twinkle little stars...

2011-08-12T16:31:00.001+10:00

While I was at the hospital, I was left with nothing except Ummi's Tafsir Al-Azhar (and of course Ibrahim to take care of) to kill my time. It was not long before I reached the part where it tell the story of the famous Lawrence of Arabia and Syeikh Badwi. It was the first time I ever to read the story. Since it is in Indonesion, allow me to do my version of the English translation. So here goes...

Lawrence and the old Syeikh Badwi were sitting outside their camp. There were twinkling stars scattering in the midnight sky. The stars felt close-at-hand as there were no clouds to conceal them. Lawrence who mastered the Arabic language including the dialect of the Badwi people began chatting to the Syeikh Badwi describing the Western invention and development. He described the invention of the telescope that allows human to see stars that is 100000 and even 300000 light years away. He included that there was nothing more that the Western didn't know. After listening to everything, the Syeikh Badwi gave a reply in which left Lawrence to a complete silence. Lawrence had the answer recorded in his journal. The Syeikh said, "I know, you Westerners have managed to count the stars. I wonder how many there are. But you never see 'Who' is behind those shining stars. You never speak of God. While we the Arabs, though we could only see a few, we always remember 'Who' is behind those stars." (Tafsir Al-Azhar, Juz 4, Ali Imran 104)

2011-07-29T10:38:00.000+10:00

S.H.A.T.T.E.R.E.D

Learn the hard way...

2011-07-26T15:23:00.001+10:00

I just don't get it. Sigh~ These people.. haven't they got enough lecturing from others to change? If only they show some effort to change or at least to consider what others have to say kan bagus. Aijooo...

Here's a fact. If it's just one person telling you 'that', then you can argue the nature of the comment. But if you made everyone go crazy and talking about it, then please consider the fact that the problem might be ROOTED from you! Trust me, you'll feel much better if you considered it. Why must go the hard way. Aijo...

One common behavior which anyone can easily pick out among these kind of people is, they are just too hard-headed to accept that by part and parcel they are the one causing MOST of the problems. And in soooo many cases, these people will then normally try to deviate the attention and to admit that they are at fault by accusing and blaming others. And last but not least, their final and most powerful weapon of all is in soooooo many ways they will try to justify their doings. Sigh~

Berapa kali daaa mengeluh. Not good for me. Smile Amelia Wong Azman. Smile~

To these group of people, here is what I am telling you. Firstly, I hope that you learn to listen what others have to say. You definitely feel uneasy at first (like I wouldn't if people bombarded me with my negatives. Nama pun manusia :P) but at least try to understand. Kesian kakak tu membebel tau. Secondly, when someone tell you something, it means they care. They want you to change for the better.

You see, admitting to the problem is the first step. Without this step then you can't proceed to the next level i.e. to resolve. This is of course speaking from experience. Yup, I had my times dulu-dulu when agak degil to admit :P. But insyaAllah I am a changed person now and would like to pass on this message as a reminder to myself too.

With that said, since in just a few more days, we Muslims are going to celebrate the month of Ramadhan, and so may I take this opportunity to wish you 'all the best' in Ramadhan. Let's get your gear ready. There's a battle to find Lailatul Qadr up ahead. ;) Happy Ramadhan.

My love...

2011-07-19T14:54:00.000+10:00

My current lappy wallpaper.. di kala all stressed up, this photo never fail to make me smile.. hehehe

Fight back to school!~

2011-07-19T01:33:00.002+10:00

Since this meant to be a 'come back' entry, I hope that this entry would have something to offer than just me talking about me. And yes, I miss you guys!!! :)

As of last April, I am officially a teacher. Yup. I had my first batch of students. A small group but enough to enlighten me. Enough to occupy me. Enough to become a practicing ground before the school will be reopened this September. Overall, it was fun though I knew I need to do more to improve and most of all to shift from just becoming a mualim to a murabbi.

What is murabbi? While it is still fresh in my head, allow me to share with you especially to those of you who shares the same realm as I am.

Becoming a mualim is easy. All you have to do is, you go to your class, open your slides or start writing on the board and do the lecturing and let your students gain whatever knowledge you wish them to learn. A murabbi on the other hand, not only involve transferring knowledge to students but also to transform them having good adab i.e. values or morale. In other words, you don't just go to your class to 'teach' but giving 'tarbiyah' instead. Yup, I finally understand that the word 'tarbiyah' means a process where knowledge and value happened all at the same time.

"Do you remember all of your teachers?" one of the many questions that was put forward to us by the speaker. Though I didn't say out loud, I answered 'No'. Then he continued, "we usually only remember only a few especially those who touches our hearts most". I can't agree more with that statement. In my case, I recall especially those who have inspired me whether them noticing it or not.

I must say that my two hours listening to the speaker on 'murabbi' was the highlight of the workshop I had attended and it has indeed lit a little spark in my heart to become a murabbi. And yes to me, the speaker has managed to secure the murabbi title since he has touched my heart and aspired me to work on that path.

Is it that difficult to inspire? To me, 'to become inspire' comes in a very subjective manner. Hence, the reason why it can be soOOoooOOOoo difficult to inspire at least for myself. For example, one might felt strongly connected by a speech made by one particular speaker, but to the rest of the audience, it might reach them as just an ordinary speech.

I have always believed that anyone can inspire. Not just the teachers. All you need is the right 'ingredients' at the right time and at the right place. More importantly it must come from your heart and that the intentions are clear. While I've made it sound simple, honestly speaking, I have scratched my head a few times in the last couple of months thinking how or what I could possibly do to inspire my fellow students. And I have wondered what I could do such that my dear students would eager to come to my class although the class starts at 8.30am.

This is a challenge on my part indeed. To not only teach but also to reach into their hearts. To inspire them to become a great engineers equipped with high morale. They say nothing is impossible. Hence, I am putting this challenge as one of my resolutions. And I am putting the same challenge to you guys. Ada berani? Hehehehe ;) Good luck!

The believers are only those who believe in Allah and His Apostle then they doubt NOT and struggle hard with their wealth and their lives in the way of Allah; they are the truthful ones [49:15]

Quick Post!

2011-06-06T12:40:00.002+10:00

Am sooOOOOoOOOOOooo missing blogging. :(

My milk story~

2011-04-04T11:09:00.002+10:00

Nowadays, my meeting with people will also mean me getting this as their first remark, "Nape dah kurus ni?". Okay here's the thing, first of all I must clarify that I am in no condition what so ever in the mood of dieting. Like most mom, this is all thanks to BF-ing. But that's not what I am about to write. You see, sebenarnye, I still have 'excess' at some places where I least wanted. But the thing is, people didn't see this since these cheeks of mine.. they are all sunken. Dah genetik agaknya. So, yesterday, I type this on the google search "how +plush +cheek -makeup -surgery". For those who seldom use the search engine, the plus sign means include the search with the word whereas the minus is to drop all articles found from the search which contain the word. In my case 'make up' and 'surgery'.

To be honest the search results were far from anything that I wanted.

And so, I told Yaby about this. He's replied - "hmm". That's it. As usual laa kan.

Nak dijadikan cerita, I need him to get some milk from the store. He went and came back with 2L of full cream milk. But that's not the milk that I wanted. Hearing that he has bought the wrong milk Yaby came to me and said this;

yaby: Po, yasir tau macam mana nak bagi plush cheek.
me: .......... *<-- didn't say anything sbb kes malas layan. Knowing that mula laa tu Yaby nak mengarut to throw the guilt*
yaby: Awak minum susu tu, then kumur2 dlm mulut. Bagi semua lemak kumpul kat pipi.
me: .......... *I gave him the stare*

Adeh~ seriously???...

My Amanah~

2011-03-23T10:09:00.004+10:00

It has been a while now since Insyirah and Ibrahim are enrolled at the childcare center not too far from where I'm working. It was also not long before someone pointed out an interesting question to me on the whole issue of sending them 'away' while I am at work. The question was, "is it the best choice?". Not that I have a choice.. or was there?

Upon hearing the question, it struck me. Have I been a victim of the man-made system?

You see, most of us went down the same path. First we went to school then to college. Straight after, went to Uni to obtain the first degree.What came next? The only obvious answer is, we find ourselves a job. One could say that getting a job IS the only fair choice. After all, one has gone through a whole lot just to get a scroll of paper that endorsed oneself so that one could take that piece of paper to let others know that one has attained a certain level of knowledge.

I can't deny the fact that getting my first pay is one of the best moments in my life. Simply because of the thought that I could finally chip in for my family monthly expenses. I felt somewhat useful too now that I can give Ummi and Daddy something in return for all their trouble taking care and bringing me up.

Then I got married.

But you see, because I have chosen the norm path, at some point, my career needs me to take up further studies. The way the system goes is, 'they' will pay for my tuition fees and etc.. but in return, I am contracted for some period of time working for them. Again, I thought it is a fair point since my career involve me knowing a little more than just what I have got from my first degree.

Things wasn't that hard at first. I only have Yaby to take care of. Although I know that at some point during my PhD years, I had left the laundry to later as well as cooked the not so tasty kind of food.. but things was OK. Kan Yaby? :-p

Then, things get more exciting - I have Insyirah. I have to juggle between life as a wife, a mother, a student and a daughter. There have been times, not once, not twice.. but more when I felt kesian nya laa haii kat Insyirah. She had to play on her own. Talking to the tele or her teddies.. It became more often especially by the end of my final year. How many times have I asked her to forgive me for not playing with her. :(

By September last year, I have Ibrahim to add to my little crowd. And at the same time, my years of serving the contract has begun too. Like they say, this is now an Amanah that I must fulfilled. I have no other choice but to send them at the nursery since there is no way I could bring them to the office without having a 'little' noise. HohohOHohoho...

Now............. a question that came to me in a flash is, my children are Amanah from Allah too. So, is by sending them in the care of someone else while I am fulfilling my obligation to the rakyat the best way to fulfill my obligation taking care of the kids?

Susah kan... To be honest, I really don't know the answer to the question.

I don't want to be lost in the busyness of this life only to lose something more great for the afterlife. I pray for Allah to guide us all in our everyday lives. Amin Ya Rabb...

Quick post!

2011-03-02T17:04:00.001+10:00

I've just moved in to a new place. With no internet access, it means that my life in the virtual world will be limited. Kesian blog ni dah lama tak di update. Will definitely post up exciting stories about the move on top of others when everything is done. :D

Flowery lessons~

2011-01-21T01:31:00.006+10:00

The last time I ever planted anything with full care, attention and extra love was when I did my degree. Back then, as usual, when you are on your own, di perantauan, you will pledge to do anything to distract you as much as possible. Just to ensure that we won't be tooooooo home sick.

In my college days, I was actually one of the members of the GreenThumb Club. Not very much people knew this, including my family members. HohohHOHohOHO... During my time in the club, I did learn laa a few tips here and there as regards to gardening. :P

My first attempt was to purchase two flower plants from ASDA. The one that already have some flowers on it. Nama pokok, I can't remember. Since I have only dealt with plants that live in hot and humid weather, I AM kinda n00b in choosing the best flower that could last all four seasons laa kan. I did not do any background research at all. I was doing my groceries shopping, thought that I had extra cash and voila~ I picked two flower pots, one with pink and the other with purple flowers.

Aaaa.. here's the thing, came early winter, the two plants withered. I was kinda sad jugak laa since I've make sure that I've given enough sunlight and warmth. Bile dah mati baru I did some search and realised that they were both seasonal plant. Sigh~

Not too long after my flower pots were left with only its pots and some dirt, I got hold on a tulip bulb. It was a gift from Kak Nadia who just got back from her Europe trip. She told me that I should start planting it soon (it was winter at that time) to prepare it to bloom in Springs.

So tanam I did.

In just a couple of weeks I could see tiny green shoot coming out of the bulb. Giler excited I became. It did came across my mind that just maybe.. maybe I could see my tulip bloom its flower even before Springs.

Because I was desperate to see it's first bloom (ni kes mmg jakun nak tgk tulip laa ni), I thought to myself maybe I could help to speed up the 'flowering' process. At that point, the tulip had grown many leaves. So here was what I did wrong. One morning, I'd decided to to water it with Ribena juice instead of water. Adeh~ yes yes.. you didn't read it wrong. It is 'Ribena'. In my mind, I thought if I watered it with glucose, it don't need to work so hard to produce glucose. And so the tulip could focus more on growing its flower. In just two days, all it leaves turned brown and there were many tiny green insects helping themselves happily with the leaves. Sighhhh~

I did realise that 'gardening' has indeed a strong connection or link to our lives.

For example, nak masak you need knowledge. Nak take care of kids you need knowledge too. Whether you got it from words of mouth or through reading, we just have to get the knowledge. Without knowledge you can't even beramal correctly. I remember I did some solat sunat right after solat sunat witir simply because at that time I didn't know. Just like my flower plants, I thought they were the best of plant that could cheer me up every morning. But little that I know, they would withered half way through.

And the best thing that I've learned from 'gardening' is - THERE IS NO SHORT CUT IN THIS LIFE. Trust me. Konon-konon nak 'help' the tulip plant laa. But what I did was totally the opposite. Kesian the tulip... Say for example, you want to be rich so that you could help the poor. While there are the easy way to becoming one, apa guna if the money is not halal. And of course, more importantly,to me there is just no easy exit to heaven. In this life, you not only have to fight against your own Nafs, there are the Syaitan to double the trouble. In other words, you just have to work hard to find a spot in heaven. There is just no short cut. It's the price you have to pay for such great reward.

I wonder if I should start a research on how one could fast tracked the speed of a plant to grow their flowers. Hurmmm~ :P

Flood everywhere...

2011-01-12T14:15:00.007+10:00

When I first arrived in Brisbane in 2006, it was drought in Australia. Dirt were everywhere. Little green grass can be seen. Water restrictions was at its maximum which includes not being able to water the garden. Just a few months before we arrived, hurricane Katrina strikes Northern Queensland wiping out most of the vegetation and plantations there. At that time, the price of banana was at its peak at the price of 25dollar per kilogram. Imagine that. Each time when I passed by the banana stack in the supermarket, I would definitely remember the price of seikat pisang here in Malaysia.

Alhamdulillah by 2008, Brisbane was at its best although I can't argue that some of the food pricing kept increasing.

In a twist of fortune though, as I am typing this, most Queenslanders are worried and burdened with the thought of flood water kept increasing. We were told by the cabbie when we first arrived that Brisbane was once under water in the early 70s. And she continued telling us that it will happen again in 50 years time. Lest do we know that it has come sooner.

To all my friends in Queensland who are affected especially the Malaysians, I pray for you guys safety. Please take care.

Perrin Park.. the park where I used to bring Insyirah to play in the evening...

The letter~

2011-01-01T02:11:00.008+10:00

*******************

To my dearest children,

I hope you are all happy and doing great with work, kids and all that matters to you. I continuously pray for Allah's Blessing on all of you.

In just a few minutes, it's going to be new year. Not that I urge you all to celebrate like everyone does. It's just that I thought that the new year could be one of the useful time to sit and reflect on what and how much you have done so far. It's always good to have the 'silent moment' or so I call. :)

I have always been doing the thinking on my own. Lest that I would open up myself and share my concerns to any of you. This year, I thought of changing my tradition. Hence, writing this email to all of you. And before you go on calling one another, let me just point it here that I am all fine. There's nothing to worry about.

You see, the other day, I recollects most of the events that had taken place in the past that until today could easily stir my heart and let tears of joy trickling down my cheeks.

When all of you were young, you guys were innocent, always cheery and forgiving. One time your eldest sister came running into my room after coming back from a quick visit to the market with your grandmother only to hug and tell me how much she missed me. And of course the time when all of you came running to the front door only after hearing the car engine to call out for me and waiting impatiently to give me those big hug of yours. Of course, like any other siblings, you guys did fight. From not wanting to share the toys to sharing the ice-cream. But it always was never too long before you would play with one another again.. as if nothing had happened.

Then of course, you guys grown up. From innocent toddlers to rebellious teenagers. Those were the longest years of my life I must admit. I am not blaming any of you for giving me the hard time. It is just a phase where everyone has to go through and I understand that. I might have just done the same too when I were at that age.. only I believe that it must have been less 'agressive' *clear throat*.

In those years, some of you had conflict with one another. You refuses to talk or to even smile to one another. Things get worse when you people started comparing and making wrong judgement when I intervened. No matter how many times I tried to convince you guys that I didn't favour anyone or take any side, you all wouldn't take my words. At times during that period, I had always felt that I have let all of you down for not becoming a better father.

But I cannot say that all were sour and bitter. There were sweet moments too. I enjoyed most when we would all sit down eating and talking. I know I never thank any of you for those moments together. And so, here it is, thank you very much for sharing them with me. I always am happy when you people would open up to me and were not afraid to share anything with me. I hope you believe that I have done my very best to become a good father. You have all grown up now. Some of you even have kids on your own too. I hope you all would be a better parent than I do. If I must repeat everything again, I would do it with all of you and no one else.

Before I end this email, please accept my one advice in case you have forgotten. Always remember that family always comes first. Even after you have a family of your own, never break ties among your siblings. It's normal to have misunderstanding every now and then but remember that no matter how angry or how hard things could be between you siblings, always get around the problem fast. Never keep at heart. Learn to forgive and forget.

You are all dear to me. Thank you for all the memories. I love you all very much... with all my heart.

Ps: whenever you feel like you have no one to listen to, I am always there for you until my time finally arrive...

*******************

Disclaimer: Ini definitely is rekaan semata2.. tiada kena-mengena dengan yang hidup atau yang mati. ;) Sekian... :)

Simplicity rules~

2010-12-23T03:47:00.003+10:00

Slept early last night and now after a quick visit to the kitchen, my eyes fail to sleep again. Hence, here I am.

After hearing another lecture yesterday, I thought of reminding especially myself of the one practice that would benefits us Muslim greatly. It is a simple act, yet I found myself struggling to istiqamah with it. It's to do the dzikir.

In the talk, the Sheikh mentioned of this hadith:

Who among you does 2,500 bad deeds in one day?’ They said: ‘How could we not count (our sins)?’ He said: ‘The Shaytaan comes to any one of you whilst he is praying and says, Remember this, remember that, until he finishes his prayer and does not do (this dzikir), or he comes to him when he is lying down and makes him sleepy, until he falls asleep (without doing this dzikir).’” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 3332).

no wonder I found myself skipping dzikir from time to time. Simply because the satan knows of the great benefits and as usual 'they' don't like us to get it. Makin nekad after this to take time to do my dzikir. I did a quick search on the net (since it is the fastest way laa kan) on the excellence of dzikir and found this website that literally list out the hadith that support the act of dzikir.

Among the interesting ones are:

Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "There are two phrases that are light on the tongue but heavy on the scale of rewards and are dear to (Allah) the Gracious One. These are, subhanallah wa bi-hamdihi (All Glory is to Allah and all Praise to Him), and subhanallah al-azim (Glorified is Allah, the Great).'' (Muslim, Bukhari, and Tirmizhi) Abu Hurairah also reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "I love repeating subhanallah, wal-hamdulillah, wa la-ilaha ill-Allah, wa-Allahu akbar (Glorified is Allah, all praise is due to Allah, and there is no God but Allah, Allah is the greatest) more than all that the sun shines upon.'' (Muslim and Tirmizhi)

Abdallah reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "During the Night Journey I met Ibrahim who said to me, 'O Muhammad, convey my greetings to your ummah, and tell them that the Paradise is of pure land, its water is sweet, and its expanse is vast, spacious and even. And its plants are Subhan-Allah, wal-hamdulillah, wala ilah illallah, wa-Allahu akbar'.''

InsyaAllah, let us all try to do dzikir as much as we can. I am totally trying to remind myself yang banyak cakap ini to skip more of the talking. And to sit longer on the praying mat after each of the 5 compulsory solat to at least recharge the 'good' gauge before it go close to empty. And to ensure that I've done the dzikir first before closing my eyes. Simply because there are tremendous benefits in performing the dzikir. You don't want to miss out on this easy-to-grab-points, do you? ;)

The second stop...

2010-12-09T00:04:00.003+10:00

Remember how our parents or friends or ustazah or etc warned us of the danger of having the thought/feeling of unsure/uncertain/doubt i.e. the feeling of"was-was" especially when we're performing our solat? Aaaaa... kan kan~ It's clearly important that the feeling of was-was can 'jeopardy' the quality of our solat. Dah laa nak khusyuk dalam solat susah. Like how many times I had questions spinning in my head. From question like "have I off the electric stove?" to "how do I solve that question?". Sigh~

Yesterday, I had the chance to listen to a lecture on afterlife. In one part of the lecture it touched on Sakaratul-maut i.e. the time when a man is on the verge of death. It is said, that at that very point in our life, the Satan will work their 100% to make a muslim go astray. They would try all means that are available to them. The Sheikh mentioned that one of their known tactics is to make use of the doubt that was left in a muslim's heart. What the Satan did is, to increase the doubt of the muslim until he or she would question their religion i.e. Islam. When a muslim started to question Islam, at that point, it would be easy for the Satan to lead them astray. Nauzubillah hi minzalik.

Say for example, during one's life, after a calamity befalls, it came across his/her mind how the ill-fated tragedy can occur to him/her i.e. questioning the qada' and qadar. The Satan would then deceive, manipulate the event and increase the doubt in his/her heart by whispering something like, "if God really loves you, He would not do that to you".

In the lecture, the Sheikh told the famous story on the deception of Satan in the story of Barsisa. I copied and paste the text below from the web. May it be a lesson to us all.

There were three brothers from Bani Israel who were called upon to go on Jihad. These three brothers had a sister who did not have any one else to be taken care other that by them. They did not know under whose care could they leave the young woman. Then they thought that the most reasonable place to leave her was with the Abid (worshipper) because he was the most trusted man in town. Barsisa, the Abid was a man who used to be in a monastery devoted to worship of ALLAH.

So they went to him and said, ” We are being enlisted to go on Jihad and we want to leave our sister with you. We trust no one in town but you.”

Barsisa replied “Audhu billah, get away from me.” This was an Abid who was not married and he did not want to deal with these problems.

The brothers said, “We have no where else to leave our sister but with you. We don’t trust anyone else.”

So Shaytan came to Barsisa and said, “If u don’t accept, she might be left with somebody who might not be trustworthy.You have to step-up and take this responsibility.”

So Barsisa told the brothers, “Leave her in the empty house.” (which was seperate from the monastery where he was staying). The brothers then left her there and went on Jihad.

After that, Barsisa the Abid used to leave food at his doorstep and the young woman had to come out of her house and walk all the way to take the food from his doorstep. Barsisa never used to leave from his monastery. Barsisa had never met her and they were not seeing each other. Days passed by like this.

One day, Shaytan came to Barsisa and said, “Somebody might see her when she is walking out. So rather than have her leave from her house. You need to carry it and leave at her doorstep.” So he started leaving the food at her doorstep. This happened for many days.

Again one day, Shaytan came to Barsisa and said, “You can’t just leave the food at her doorstep. Somebody might see her when she opens the door and she is very beautiful. You would have to take the food and leave it inside her room.” So Barsisa would go and knock on the door. She would open and he would walk inside and leave the food there. That continued for a while.

Then again one day Shaytan said, “You can’t leave this poor woman alone without giving her any company. Nobody is speaking to her. So she may be feeling very lonely and that might lead to haram. So why don’t you go and talk to her from behind the door.” Barsisa liked the idea and so for a while he would sit outside and just talk to her for HOURS. Slowly and slowly the relationship was building up and Shaytan was finding it easier to drag him to the next step.

Shaytan then came and said, “You can’t just sit there talking to her, people might see you. You need to go inside, just sit in another room without looking at her and talk to her.” So for sometime that is what he did. Slowly she started getting closer to him and everytime they got more and more close to the extent that eventually he comitted zina (fornication) with her.

So the Abid, the worshipper who devoted his life to service in the monastery comitted zina. Because of that, she became pregnant and delivered a boy.

Then Shaytan came to Barsisa and said,”Now when the brothers come back and find out that their sister has a child you are going to be in big trouble. The only way for you to put an end to this issue is to kill the baby.” Barsisa followed the advice of Shaytan and killed the child.

But it didn’t end there. Shaytan came to him and said, “Do you think that this woman will keep the secret after you kill her own child? The only way out is to kill her.” So Barsisa killed her and burried both mother and child in a certain location inside the house.

Later the brothers came back and inquired about their sister. Barsisa gave some reason and said, “She had passed away and this is where she is burried.” Saying that he pointed to a false grave.

Then Shaytan went to the brothers and made them see a dream. In that dream they were told that Barsisa killed their sister and the proof was that she was burried in a different location (i.e. under the rock inside the house).

When the brothers woke up they started talking to each other and found out that they all had seen the same dream. They thought that there must be some truth in it. So they went and uncovered the grave which Barsisa had pointed to and found it empty. Then they went inside the house and found the rock as mentioned in the dream. On digging underneath the rock they found their sister’s dead body along with that of the child.

So they went to Barsisa and forced him to disclose the secret of what happened. He went ahead and told them the whole story. The three brothers took Barsisa to the king’s court and he was given punishment of execution.

While Barsisa was being dragged to his execution spot, Shaytan came to him and said, “Listen Barsisa I am Shaytan and it was me who was in communication with you since this whole thing started and not your inner thoughts. Now I can get u out of this trouble if you want. I am the one who put you in this trouble in the first place and I can get u out of it.”

Barsisa asked, “What should I do?”

Shaytan said, “Do sujood to me and I will save you.”

Barsisa did sujood to Shaytan (i.e. committed shirk) and as soon as he did so, Shaytan ran away and Barsisa was executed.

Gifts!~

2010-11-22T22:31:00.006+10:00

Yesterday was my birthday. Happy birthday to me! :D hehe.. To all my friends who send in wishes via emails, smses and wall posts, THANK YOU DEAR for remembering me. *terharu sgt2x*

This year my special present came early. Hehe.. yup, as mentioned in my last post, the special present is no other than the arrival of baby Ibrahim. :)

Just like Insyirah, Ibrahim came three weeks early from his due date. I felt the first sign of contraction on Sunday 12:10am. I ignored the first sign and continue to go to sleep thinking that it might be just a braxton hicks. About 10 to 11 minutes later, I was woken up by another contraction sensation. That was when I said, if the next one came in, I would inform Yaby. And it came. So I broke the news to Yaby but had assured Yaby that he didn't have to worry until morning arrived. At that point, Yaby had to put his thinking cap on. Sebabnya, we were in Bangi for the weekend and haven't got the prep bag with us. After a little discussion, I suggested that we would make a move to Klang after Subuh prayer, grab the bag and then headed to the hospital. My only reason was there were no spotting or have my water broke to suggest that Ibrahim would come any sooner. Yaby agreed and told me to try getting more sleep. So I slept.

As the contractions built up slowly in the next couple of hours, I smsed my sister and made a call to Ummi who was in Penang to let them know the news. By 3am, the contractions interval had come down to 7 minutes. Its intensity increases in the next hour. At this point, I had to start doing the cat-stretch to ease the pain. Seeing me in that position, Yaby decided to make a change of plan and suggested that we should start making a move back to Klang as soon as possible. At exactly 5am, Yaby broke the news to Mak and Ayah telling them our plans. Insyirah was still asleep at that time. So apa lagi, kena kejutkan laa. I don't think she knew the weight of what was happening around her. Hehehe... We told her that we are going back to Klang. In her daze, she agreed. Mak and Ayah decided to tag along too.

In the car, the contractions came every 5 minutes. With Insyirah sleeping on my lap, I was hoping that the contractions could give me more time to 'rest'. HOhohoHOhoho.. but of course it didn't laa kan. I was worried on Insyirah's part since Ummi was not around. Luckily my dear sister manage to make plans with her friends to cover her duty hours to attend to Insyirah's needs. After getting all that we need, we made our way to the hospital. It was 6:30am when the nurse announced that I had 3cm dilation and said that I should be warded. At 7:40am, my doctor arrived and after a few observation she told Yaby and I that Ibrahim will be out by 9am. To be honest, I doubted when she told me that since I was 7cm dilated when I arrived at the women's hospital and it took me more than 2 hours to push Insyirah to her way out. :P

My doctor broke my water bag and by 8:20am, I had the 'pushing' urged. How do I know the exact time you asked me? Hehe.. aaa it's because I was staring at the huge clock from time to time. :P At that point, my doctor said, "Amelia, your baby will be out in three pushes. When the contraction come, push as hard as you could. Macam nak buang air besar. Hold your legs and lift up your head at each push.". I did as what she said and Alhamdulillah I heard Ibrahim's cries before close to 9am after three pushes. I could see Yaby's relieved and excited face. I was relieved too and at the same time tak percaya pun ada that I was holding Ibrahim that soon.

Alhamdulillah I don't have to undergo cesarean. Alhamdulillah there's no tear. Alhamdulillah Ibrahim is healthy. Alhamdulillah I am fine. I know I couldn't say enough thanks to Allah. And thank you all for continuing making prayers for me. :)

Quick post~

2010-11-20T17:37:00.005+10:00

Alhamdulillah the waiting has ended. As of last Sunday, my family tree has grown another branch. We are officially 4! yeay to me. Will put up a longer post soon. right now I am too busy to be pampered while having my dear Ibrahim next to me busy sleeping ;p ;D hohoho...

And (remember) when Ibrahim said: "O my Lord! Make this city (Makkah) one of peace and security, and keep me and my sons away from worshiping idols."

"O my Lord! They have indeed led astray many among mankind. But whoso follows me, he verily is of me., And whoso disobeys me, still You are indeed Oft-Forgiving, Most merciful."

"O our Lord! I have made some of my offspring to dwell in an uncultivatible valley by Your Sacred House (the Ka'abah at Makkah) in order, O our Lord, that they may perform As-Salat. So fill some hearts among men with love towards them, and (O Allah) provide them with fruits so that they may give thanks."

"O our Lord! Certainly, You know what we conceal and what we reveal. Nothing on the earth or in the heaven is hidden from Allah."

"All the praises and thanks are to Allah, Who has given me in old age Ismail and Ishaq. Verily! My Lord is indeed the All-hearer of invocations."

"O my Lord! Make me one who performs As-Salat and (also) from my offspring, our Lord! And accept my invocation."

"Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established."

- Surah Ibrahim; verse 35-41.

My quick rant~

2010-10-28T12:40:00.002+10:00

Lately I am addicted to speak with Insyirah over the phone. After a few rings, there will be that little high pitch voice on the other line who would straight away say, "hello mi-mi". My heart just melt and it continues to falter when Insyirah said, "mi-mi, come. Let's watch cartoon with me.". Adoi~ Bila tak call nak call. Bila dah call anak suruh balik nak balik. How?

Don't be angry laa mak~

2010-10-27T11:42:00.008+10:00

I came across this one hadith on "patience";

Anas ibn Malik reports: “The Prophet saw a woman crying by the side of a grave. He said to her: ‘Be mindful of God and be patient’. She said to him: ‘Leave me alone. You have not experienced my calamity; and you do not know him.’ She did not recognize the Prophet. She was then told that he was the Prophet. She came to see him, but she did not find guards at his home. She said to him: ‘I did not realize who you were’. He said: ‘True patience is that shown at the first blow’.” (Related by Al-Bukhari).

Clearly, this hadith is trying to point out the virtue of patience when calamity strikes and that although crying over someone's death is permissible, one should not include wailing or crying aloud and lamenting on death.

What I am also more interested is on the other fact described in the commentary of this hadith. It was on the personality of our beloved Prophet Muhammad saw. Little was he offended or take it personally when the lady spoke to him in a rude manner.

Talking about being offended.

You see, in the last few weeks, whether it was on the radio or someone's discussions or on the newspaper, I had come across with these many stories which kinda related to being offended. In our words, kecik hati laa.

In one lecture that I heard, it is mentioned on the importance of parents and also husbands not to be quickly offended or kecik hati by the people 'under' them. That is to say, children as to parents and wife to a husband. The point that the Ustaz was trying to make is, in our Islamic teachings, it is highlighted the importance of blessing of parents to the children as well as the blessing of a husband to the wife in order for the children and the wives to live a peaceful, prosperous and happy lives in this world. Should parents and husbands senang sangat je terasa, it would only welcome and bring hardship to the anak-anak and the isteri. After hearing that, I have make sure that this point is pinned neatly at the back of my head. Dah jadik mak laa katakan. :P

Like the story in the hadith, what made the lady spoke in such a rude manner to our Prophet i.e. the one man we all Muslim must respect, is because she was overcome by her troubled emotions. This situation can happen to anyone i.e. bile tak stabil one might do or say something that is not appropriate. Nama pun manusia and especially to us 'woman' who's mood pretty much easily swayed by our hormones. *coughing*. And of course when the kids are entering that crucial age stage when the smallest things matters i.e. the teenagers!!! hehehe...

Having said that, we couldn't argue that there were cases where children and wives behaving badly and clearly menderhaka towards the parents and the husbands. Ni memang dah masuk bab cerita lain. Nauzubillah~

Let us all mendidik secara berhemah and penuh sabar ye kawan-kawan. ;)

Second chance...

2010-10-16T18:45:00.005+10:00

"If you give a person one chance, they might turn out to be a good person...", and so I was told. Daddy said that after he shared me an interesting story of how one of his friends make a turning point in his life. And it was the right turn.

He used to be one of the kongsi gelap guy who had been living a brutal and violent life. He even told Daddy that one of the police stations in Malaysia was his second home. Although I have to skip most of the details, hearing this, anyone could imagine what a rough life he had been involved.

It all changes when one of his other friends who also happened to be Daddy's friend advice him that he should change his lifestyle. Enough of the kongsi gelap and come out clean. The friend suggested that he should start working under him and even said that he could promote him to become a supervisor. When I asked Daddy how old is his other friend who was braved and kind of him to offer such kindness. Daddy told me that the friend is younger than him. At this point, it only makes it clearer to me that you don't need to be a certain age to change another 'man's' life.

He was given a chance to change and good for him, he grabbed it. His abrupt 180degree turn also lead him to build a happy family of his own.

Second chance seldom come by. But when they do, some still ignore the clear sign. Only the one that's fortunate live to enjoy a better life. No wonder there's the doa in al-ma'thurat which said, "Ya Allah, janganlah Engkau biarkan nasib kami ditentukan oleh diri kami sendiri" which from my lack of vocab lead me to literally translate the doa into "O Allah, please don't let us decide our own fate i.e. guide us in making decision in life".

I wanted to write a longer post but my dear Insyirah kept pulling my hand and told me "mi-mi, stop working. Let's go down.". And so with that, I end this post. ;)

...

2010-09-26T10:04:00.002+10:00

It has been more than a month now since my last post. Which also about the same length of the time I've been here in Malaysia. Oh yes, Happy Hari Raya to all.. maaf zahir and batin. :)

Alhamdulillah I am in my 30th week of my second pregnancy. Things seems to be very busy under my belly every now and then since I could feel the kicking, the turning, the karate move where someone put an elbow into your ribs... yup, you name it.

Anyway, my last appointment with my GP in St Lucia was about a week after my 12 weeks scan. Then I had non until I touched the Malaysia soil again which was about 5 weeks ago. Here's the thing. During my labour with Insyirah, I had a 3rd degree tear. I remember a few minutes after I had little Insyirah in my arms, a doctor came in to examine and after a few preparations I was led to an operation theater room. Two plus hours later, I was in another place where a couple of happy smiling nurses help to put warm blanket around me while another was checking on my pulses and BP and so on.

I remember looking at the clock and I couldn't believe that it had been close to three hours since the last time I hold little Insyirah. In my head I was wondering how was Ummi and Yaby were coping with little Insyirah. I then asked the nurses when I got to see my baby again. Immediately after that, one of them then said, "right now" before another nurse came along and led me to my ward.

As I entered my ward, I could hear a high pitch yet small cries. It was after all Insyirah. Yaby said, she might be hungry. And so after they transfered me to my bed, Yaby laid little Insyirah next to me and before you knew it, she found what she was looking for. :D

Eh jap.. what was I suppose to write about? :P

OK OK.. I was actually meant to tell that I had a 3rd degree tear. If you are not sure what is a 3rd degree tear, just know that it is 1 degree away from the worse kind of tear! *saje letak exclamation mark :P*

And so, during my first check up in Malaysia, the Dr said something which scare me and has been causing me dilemma ever since. Based on the fact that I had a 3rd degree tear, she advised me to consider cesarean for this pregnancy. To be honest, I could feel my heart skipped a beat upon hearing that. :( Mana taknyer, the Dr's explanations was fair. In summary, 1) the chances of getting 3rd or 4th degree tear for my case has increased to 15-20%; 2) there might not be or a good specialist might not becomes available to 'mend' the tear; and 3) should point '2' comes in, then it would also mean that my bowel system could be affected. Sigh~

I have been asking around as well as browsing the net to see if anyone had a 3rd or 4th degree tear and still manage to go for a 'clean' normal pregnancy for their subsequent baby. Despite the fact that C-sect is the one thing I want so badly to avoid, I have had the "why not you consider 'it' this time?" running inside my head. Adoi~ My only request here is, please let me know if you have heard of stories with positive outcomes having a normal labour despite a history of 3rd or 4th degree tear so that I could be more confident to go for normal and avoiding the massive operation of C-sect.

A new chapter~

2010-08-24T23:31:00.004+10:00

So yes I have been away. It has been a tremendously hectic+killer weeks in the last 3 weeks. But Alhamdulillah, everything was good and I'm now safely in Malaysia. To be honest, I still find it hard to absorb the fact that I am back for good. All my syukur to Him. :D

Anyway, coming back home does not mean that I am not at all going to be busy. In fact, it was the total opposite. For a start, there was the Dr's appointment after a quick trip to the hair stylist.. since my hairstyle doesn't fit at all to the lovely hot condition of my Tanahair. The place I heart most. Then of course, I have been shuffling and browsing web pages almost everyday to find a suitable place we could call a place of our own. Adoi~ I can't believe it is soooo difficult to find the dream house close to my work place. Sigh~ I mean, not that I didn't know what to expect after my history of finding a house for rent when I was in Brisbane. It's just that, this is totally different. I really-really have to be 100% sure that the house I am buying is the best to bring up my family. Indeed this is a new chapter for me... tak sangka weii.. I am currently in that phase.

Then of course, in less than 15 weeks, insyaAllah I'll turn myself into another chapter when this baby boy is welcome as an official member of ellyWong's family. My guess is, I will have to expect a 'little' different from the previous outcome i.e. having a baby girl. One thing for sure, insyaAllah, I know Insyirah will come in handy since she has been practicing her pengawas skill all over the place. Say this morning, 'accidentally', while I was doing a little thinking of my own, little did I know I was nibbling my protruding finger nails. Then came my dear Insyirah telling me, "mi-mi, don't do that. Don't bite your finger nail". Of course, I was left with red face laa since I was suppose to be the one who should be telling 'someone' not to do such act. *Daddy, if you are reading this, I promise you that I'll try not to repeat this shameless behaviour in front of my children ever again. hihihihi* But soon after the malu phase has gone, I couldn't help but felt blessed having Insyirah who's unlike her Ummi, is more of a ladylike and proper in manner. Alhamdulillah.. :D

Then the next milestone that will mark as a new chapter would be in *ehem* years of time when I am going to replace the number '2' in the first digit of my age with my favourite number - '3'. Aiyooo~ I know. I am tuaaa already. Just a while ago, Yaby and myself were looking at our photos dated 6 years back and realised how much we have 'grown' :P huhuhu. Now that that has been said, I pray for Allah to panjangkan all of our umur ibadat. I mean who didn't know the famous lyrics in the Sepohon Kayu nasyid (is that the title?). Yup, it's - "walaupun hidup, seribu tahun kalau tak sembahyang apa gunanya". Adoi~ now that it came to me, lagi cuak when come to think of the lyric than becoming older.

Since I haven't post a Happy Ramadhan wish to everyone on this blog, I think it is not too late to wish all Muslims out there Selamat berpuasa and menjalankan amal ibadat. May Allah accept all of our ibadah. Amin Ya Rabb ;)

Another walk to remember~

2010-08-06T09:39:00.003+10:00

Mak aii.. I do really think this baby is making me way too emotional.

As I walked around my empty house, tetiba I was engulfed by that melting feelings. I couldn't believe that this day has finally arrived. Alhamdulillah. The day I could say I am going back to Malaysia for good. InsyaAllah...

It's only seven days left. This day next week, I shall bid my farewell to Brisbane with uncertain knowledge of when I shall be visiting Brisbane ever again.

Although I am totally thrilled to get back to Malaysia, like I've said earlier in this entry, I felt somewhat sedey laa jugak. Of ourse it's because of the many good times and great companies that I have collected along with other bitter hours. Hihihi.. to my dear friends, I know you know who you are, thank you for making my journey a little less painful and a whole lot colourful. You guys rock!

When I posted this photo n my fb, I put a caption of "First arrived with only 4 bags. 4years later.."

that was also the time it strikes me on how much weigh this journey has added to my list of memories. And of course, the best 'packaging' of all is having my little Insyirah and another one coming soon this December insyaAllah - the family package :D hehehehe..

I would definitely miss Brisbane. And surely there will be the moments when I wouldl smile when I recall this adventure. :D

My quick rant~

2010-08-02T08:29:00.001+10:00

It's already Monday!!! but me packing is not ready at all. aiyoooo~

Blood is thicker than water~

2010-07-30T07:17:00.011+10:00

You might have encountered this yourself.

One day you were talking to a total stranger or someone you just met only to find that some of the words that came from him or her sounded like a plausible answer to your search problem.. or perhaps became a speech of advice.. or simply makes you thinking. So many times this has happened to me. The latest I had was last weekend at a Birthday party.

I always think that my family is different from others. We have our own way to say "I care" and "I don't care". We shared secret 'body'-language that pretty much is useful when it comes to compromising when others were around and we didn't want them to know. And we called names to each other (I am 'gemok' with the 'o') and the list could continue on and on.

Growing up, there were many times when disagreement came between us. If they say Clash of the Titan defines the biggest type of 'clash'-es, then I would say ours were ahead of that. :P There were disputes on simple ideas, on how things should be done and not to be done, what to play, who will be the bad 'guy', which flavour to buy, how one should dress and etc... and as soon as the animosity increases, what came next would be a scene in a movie that I never like. hohohohohoho :P

The other day, I had chatted with Ummi through YM. I know I have asked her before. But somehow I just hope that she would give me a different answer. So I ask, "why is it that we siblings are so different from one another?". Let's face it. I am becoming a mom of two. And insyaAllah for more to come. So I guess, it's about time that I equipped myself with solutions for conflicts that may arise between my kids. hohoho.. No matter how much I hope that she would give a different answer, she stands on her ground. Ummi answered me telling that there's the beauty and at the same time, as Ummi has put it, "ujian" for parents. I couldn't delay my doa upon hearing that. Hoping that Allah would help me in becoming a good and responsible parent myself.

Anyway, back to my conversation with my friend. And so she mentioned, "now that I am here (i.e. Brisbane), my brother would call me and tell me how much he misses me."

"Is he older or younger than you?", I asked

"He's my younger brother. You know, we used to fight all the time."

Immediately at that point, it all came to me. Me and siblings were in the same boat. But soon after one by one has to leave home, it all started to change. I mean maybe it is true that 'distance makes your heart grew fonder'.

Since then, we have less 'strong' and 'silly' arguement. It could be the reason that it is simply because we met less hence do not want to waste the precious time on feud or.. it could be the reason that we are all grown up now. And when I come to think of it, if it's the latter, then I realised one other important thing, "can I win the race in chasing more good times that I'd lost?".

True, there were times when I felt that we could all be more lovey-duvey type, sharing our deepest and darkest secrets hehe.. BUT I also know that what we are today, are defines from what we experience as a child growing up. And if anyone ask, I would say that I am happy of who I am today :P. Although I would pray that I would continue to become a whole lot better person in the future laa kan ;). Hence, I would not want to trade any of my childhood with any Rumpelstiltskin for a world. And so I pray.. for that what ever time frame left for us siblings, and of course for yours too, will be of good times. InsyaAllah amiiinn ya Rabb.

Speaking of which, insyaAllah this year, 1431/2010, will be the first in sooooooo many years that all of us siblings will be able to gather at once!!! Alhamdulillah~

Quick post

2010-07-23T06:40:00.001+10:00

Promise you that this going to be very quick. ;P

So, I saw this one statement "Berkhidmat Untuk Negara Kerana Allah".

First thing in mind- Alhamdulillah! Superb line.

Second that came crossing - Hmmm... if only it is true to many.

I am not saying that the one who had his name signed underneath the tag is somewhat bad. No. That is not what I am suggesting. I was actually just thinking that just maybe this is a template for most official paper work. Which then led me to my second statement.

Who would not want to see anything "Kerana Allah". Just because if it's "Kerana Allah" then there must be the sense of sincerity and surely it will be an 'amiss'-free. *clear throat*

Dreaming...

2010-07-20T07:14:00.007+10:00

To dream big or to dream realistically.. that's the question I have had in mind since my last conversation with my dear sister.

At one point of our conversation, I pointed out that just maybe we should all have a list of dreams that we 'want' or should I say 'hope' to achieve. I know I have one but the weigh of that dream is so enormous that I can't be 100% sure that I could one day fulfil it.

After we stopped the conversation, little did I know that it comes to linger me. I can hear the sound of the idea every now and then until it makes we wonder if there's something wrong to 'dream big'. Should I have just stick to 'dream realistically' instead.

What actually made me to start writing about this 'now' i.e. in the midst of everything was actually the effect after reading one entry on a blog. It was posted on one of my friend's status. And just a few hours ago, the blog's author passed away after battling with cancer. Reading her last entry was the second of its kind. The first was a friend of mine who passed away in a car accident. I pray for Allah to bless these two souls.

How is it related to this post? For some reason, I think I was reminded that the 'end' is so near and hence led to the other question, "would I be able to achieve it?".

I could understand when people say to 'dream realistically' just to avoid having dreams that cannot be realised to avoid being too upset. On the other side of the leaf, which I am in, I could also understand that the reason of having 'big dreams' are for us to continue to drive ourselves and pushing our limits.

In one of her sentence, she said

"All I have (is) hope. Hope that becomes a prayer. A prayer that Allah cures all pains and fever. I am still thankful, even in this difficulties my hope and my prayers didn't get washed away."

That was the line that actually strikes me. I have always seen 'hope' strongly related to 'dream' since at times, I always telling myself how I would hope that I could achieved my dreams one day.

In her last entry, she mentioned on her preparation to perform Umrah. To me, in her case, this is a 'realistic dream' which has step forward to become a 'big dream'. She had hoped and dreamt for the day when she would perform the umrah hand-in-hand with her beloved husband to come. A dream that every muslim yearn to follow. In another blog, it is informed that she managed to perform the Umrah with her husband. Alhamdulillah..

My conclusions, I would say, go ahead. Dream big. Dream big and work for it. Even when you think it is difficult to achieve it. InsyaAllah, just by having the 'dream' you will improve yourself. For some people, it will help you to move on with life. One thing I got after reading her entry, it is never too late to 'dream'.

********************************************

Butterfly fly away - Miley Cyrus

You tuck me in,
Turn out the light
Kept me safe and sound at night
Little girls depend on things like that
Brushed my teeth and combed my hair
Had to drive me everywhere
You were always there when I looked back
You had to do it all alone
Make a living, make a home
Must have been as hard as it could be
And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scared things wouldn't turn out right
You would hold my hand and sing to me
Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry hold on tight.
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly Fly Away
Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away)
Flap your wing now you can't stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true
Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away)
We been waiting for this day
All along and know just what to do
Butterfly,
Butterfly,
Butterfly,
Butterfly Fly Away

My quick rant~

2010-07-16T07:52:00.000+10:00

aiyo~~ naik kah~ nak raya mesti naik wan people say. so betul la. aiya~ this time all five aaa. aiyooo~ so meaning aaa, angpau for raya this year aaa.. blue kaler can or not? aijooo~ ma fan!

Supposedly stressed out~

2010-07-13T20:17:00.007+10:00

We heard a lot about stress. For example, some people were discussing on what causing the stress. They come out with a list from bad working environment to money problem to heavy work load to unhappy or bad family relationship and etc. Then there's of course, they speak of the effects of stress. To name a few, they claim it can make one sick, crazy or worse, it can also kill. The talk about stress didn't end there obviously. Another group of people then come out with solutions or remedies to solve the stress related issues like for example, eating chocolate or talk to someone and seek attention from professional (which I am not convinced at all) and the list goes on and on.

My current state - I am seriously in stress mode. With packings, paper work and ultimately submitting this thesis. What I realised though, unlike how I used to be when I am under stress, I am feeling a little too realx and composed. To be honest, I am quite shocked to find myself not panicking.

Just a while ago, I baked cookies for my dear Insyirah. It all started when she couldn't get hold off some of her friend's chocolate chips cookies. I told her, "mi-mi will bake for you Okay" and I did while she was having her afternoon nap. Yup. As if I was not busy. *sambil geleng kepala*

Anyway, I see this 'weird' pattern overcoming me since... since I lost my 'bad air problem'. I have been experimenting and cooking foods that I have never or would be the last in my list to be attempted like laksam and nasi kerabu. No wonder I have been gaining weight extra fast this pregnancy :P. And now that I think of it, this time memang totally different from my previous (although I have a notion that this might be a girl too :D). I got wind, I don't like even the smell of the chicken not until recently, I totally have no drive to do any shopping, I can blog which was a problem with me having Insyirah :P and I am somewhat 'bigger'. Hohohoho...

Going back to the stress issue, whether this is a good sign of 'under stress' or not, I have only thing in mind that is still 'to get out of this stress-causing-situation soon!'. I just can't wait to get my feet back in Malaysia although I have that 'alarm' feelings at the back of my mind. Sebab dengar kata Malaysia panas gilerr skang sampai ketiak basah. HOhohOHOhohoho... Luckily there are more positive than the negative effects of the scorching temperature like enjoying ramadhan in Malaysia and especially having the family around.... best giler!

I am not trying to give a direct solution to stress but my personal advice in combating stress would be, 1) try to calm yourself. Whether you choose to solat sunat or sleep or eat or calling your spouse or your parents or jumping in a river and scream while splashing the water around you (I've seen this act in a movie :P), you just have to let it out. Because there's no point trying to force your way through when you have something in mind. Which ever way it is, then 2) the next thing is you need to pull yourself together and convinced yourself that you could overcome the cause of the stress and would not let the stress gets the better of you. You should always have this in mind, that "there is no problem without a solution". If your colleague is giving you a hard time, let him or her know. Sometimes, they might have not realised that their act is sooooooo annoying and could stress you out. I've watched on the tv a few days ago on how a prank of another friend who continuously throwing pieces of paper cause the other guy to go berserk which later throw a few punches on the friend. Ouch! Then there was another scene where a man who must have been had a hard day started to smash the printer using a monitor. Uuuuu~ scary kan. Stress is never a good thing indeed.

One thing for sure, no matter how hard we try, there will be the time which left us in stress. Tak boleh avoid punya. But always have in mind and yakin that Allah knows that you are able to overcome it as long as you put your trust in Him. And I was told that if you are a woman, stress is the main cause of those wrinkle lines you see. You don't want them do you? :P hoHohohOho... so cepat2 laa let go off the stress. Good luck everyone. ;) And yes Amelia, silalah submit your thesis yer :) huhuhu~

Tying the knot~

2010-07-05T10:52:00.007+10:00

The last time I was waiting for a meeting with my supervisor, I found myself waiting at the pantry. hehehe.. why? For some reasons, the school has taken our room and decided to move us to a room packed with 9 another people. At first first I don't mind at all after getting the email about the move since I am going to finish after all. Then came last Thurdays, I saw my stuff shoved in a box and put on a table where there's no power plug or network connections, no chairs.. and Yaby computer mouse and keyboard were no where to be seen too. Kena cilok laa ni. Anyway, since the meeting was delayed, I found myself wondering through and fro with Insyirah tail gating me. That was when I began to rasa sakit hati and found myself sitting at the pantry.

And there at the pantry with least academic material but abundance of published material on fashion, gossips and stories i.e. the magazines, I found myself going through one. Can't remember what the title of the magazine is. But I do remember one article that I had read. It was on finding true meaning of marriages. There were stories of three interesting wives telling their part on what they described as their perfect marriages. I can see why they are proud of themselves since it is not that often that these mat salleh have able to secure a happy 15+ years of marriages. I managed to read only two however since I had to check 'manually' on whether my supervisor had already waiting for me. They are quite funny and at one point I have to double check if my chuckle was too loud to stir the quite office environment.

One statement that I think is very-very true if you want to have a happy marriage of your own is "never ever-ever compare yours with others". Let's faced it. It is normal to look "the garden is greener on the other side" because like I used to tell people, the syaitan never like happy marriages. So they will tend to whisper ideas in one's head to invoke the feelings of dissatisfied. To think that the wife or the husband was being unfair, uncaring and etc. And so I would say that it's normal if every now and then for everyone to think that way simply because it isn't your fault. It's some red-devil doing. But then again, we are left with choices. Whether to follow suits the evil plot or simply brushed it off behind your ears. I've read sometimes ago about how he/she suggested that we should think of the less fortunate should any of these bad ideas come along. And how much we have to always be thankful. And for husbands and wives to tolerate and be considerate. And of course to listen and communicate to one another.

Both husband and wife have a great responsibility on their shoulders. We should be reminded always that there are more to marriages than 'that'. Like bringing up your kids and educate them so that the future has generations that can continue to carry these responsibility too.

One taboo question in marriages has always been 'divorce'. You see, again because of a decision made by the husband or wife, the whole family institution will be affected especially the children. Adeh~ Sedih when comes to think of it. I've seen myself the negative effects on these children. I can't argue that there were time when divorce is the only solution, but in many cases, I know it happened because one or both parties are selfish. They only think of their happiness without considering their children. Nauzubillah hi min zalik.

Marriage is sacred. It is not as simple as tying a knot using some ropes like we used to learn in the girl guide. We should all remember that. :)

July~

2010-07-02T08:29:00.021+10:00

Can't believe it is July.. it was so long since my last post. And if I am not mistaken, I saw a couple of spiders who were about to put up some of their silk webs on my webpage. :P

I've listened to one Arabic nasyeed from mimi's blog. The title is Ya Rabb. I couldn't really tell what the whole nasyeed is all about but I can promise you two things. It makes you feel 1) all sayu and 2) how you will feel admiration to the Arabic language.

I never had the opportunity to really sit, listened and learned the Arabic language. Yes, I am planning to do so soon insyaAllah once I got back since I've heard that the Uni have prepared some Arabic classes for staff. Obviously, not knowing the Arabic is a total drawback for myself. Not only do I have to learned by heart some of the key words in the translations in order to get the khusyuk that is sooooo difficult to come by during solat and which I could tell you that unfortunately I haven't covered that many surahs, I also lose the many beautiful meaning behind the Arabic verse since I am only reading the English translations. In many cases, the translator has added longer descriptions to present the meaning of the Arabic words. But still, the learned Arabic would say that some meaning will still be lost in the translation. sigh~~

The other day, Yaby was listening to Br Nouman Ali Khan. At first, I was listening from afar while doing my work. In just a short period of time, I found myself listening attentively to this Br Nouman's lecture. I love his style of presentation. It really is captivating. I was about to search for his extended bibliography to be shared here when I found this other lecture. He explained the need to learn and understand the Arabic language. Yes, I have to stall my entry to listen to this lecture since it is so related to what I was about to write. At the same time, I was making notes as well as grabbing my tafsir.. and here I am again 51+1 minutes (1 minute that is after from my search up to this point :P) after listening to why he thinks we Muslims should be studying Arabic and how. My say about this talk, "Ya Allah, please don't group me among the cursed ones" -- which he explained in the talk.

The talk started off by mentioning that the Quran is the Speech of Allah and it is in Arabic and which has been mentioned 11 times in the Quran. In the middle of the talk, he shared the story of Abul Walid, a debater and political negotiator of the Quraish who's heart tremble with fear after listening to Surah Fussilat (41:1-41). A non-believer but a man who understand the language of the Quran. After some browsing, I found the whole hadith here:

According to authentic Traditions, it was sent down after the affirmation of the Faith by Hadrat Hamzah and before the affirmation of the Faith by Hadrat Umar. Muhammad bin Ishaq, the earliest biographer of the Holy Prophet, has related on the authority of Muhammad bin Ka'b al-Qurzi, the famous follower of the Companions, that one day some of the Quraish chiefs were sitting in their assembly in the Masjid al-Haram, while in another corner of the Mosque there was the Holy Prophet sitting by himself. This was the time when Hadrat Hamzah had already embraced Islam and the people of the Quraish were feeling upset at the growing numbers of the Muslims. On this occasion, Utbah bin Rabi'ah (the father-in-law of Abu Sufyan) said to the Quraish chiefs: "Gentlemen, if you like I would go and speak to Muhammad (upon whom be Allah's peace and blessings) and put before him some proposals; maybe that he accepts one of them, to which we may also agree, and so he stops opposing us." They all agreed to this, and Utbah went and sat by the Holy Prophet. When the Holy Prophet turned to him, he said: "Nephew, you know the high status that you enjoy in the community by virtue of your ancestry and family relations, but you have put your people to great trouble: you have created divisions among them and you consider them to be fools: you talk ill of their religion and gods, and say things as though all our forefathers were pagans. Now listen to me and I shall make some suggestions. Consider them well: maybe that you accept one of them." The Holy Prophet said: "Abul Walid, say what you want to say and I shall listen to you." He said, "Nephew, if by what you are doing, you want wealth, we will give you enough of it so that you will be the richest man among us; if you want to became an important man, we will make you our chief and will never decide a matter without you; if you want to be a king, we will accept you as our king; and if you are visited by a jinn, whom you cannot get rid of by your own power, we will arrange the best physicians and have you treated at our own expense." 'Utbah went on speaking in this strain and the Holy Prophet went on listening to him quietly. Then he said, "Have you said, O Abul Walid, what you had to say?" He replied that he had. The Holy Prophet said: "Well, now listen to me."Then pronouncing Bismilahir Rahmanir-Raihm Surah (to start reading surah Fussilat*), and (after finishing, the prophet said*) Utbah Abul Walid, now you may act as you please." then Utbah arose and walked back towards the chiefs, the people saw him from afar, and said: "By God! Utbah's face is changed. He does not look the same man that he was when he went from here." Then, when he came back and sat down, the people asked, "What have you heard?" He replied, "By God! I have heard something the like of which I had never heard before. By God, it's neither poetry, nor sorcery, nor magic. O chiefs of the Quraish, listen to what I say and leave this man to himself. I think what he recites is going to have its effect. If the other Arabs overcome him, you will be saved from raising your band against your brother, and the others will deal with him. But if he overcame Arabia, his sovereignty would be your sovereignty and his honor your honor." Hearing this the chiefs spoke out:"You too, O father of Walid, have been bewitched by his tongue." Utbah replied, "I have given you my opinion; now you may act as you please." (Ibn Hisham, vol. I, pp. 313-314).

Before I forgot, this is what I was actually about to write before I did the search on Br Nouman's bibliography. In one of his other lecture on answering the question why is the Quran is considered to be a miracle on its own, among others that he has given, one answer really stand out to me. He first answered it by saying that the Quran is in Arabic which is the best of literature. He then said that there is one verse in the Quran (which after my search led to Surah 74 verse 3), it says "Rabbaka fa kabbir" which can be translated to "Magnify your Lord (Allah)". If the words are read backwards, letter-by-letter, it will also say the same thing. And guess what, there is no other language that could do that to a sentence except for the Quran which is a divine revelation from Allah.

I hope you would have the time to listen to the talk and hopefully it will give us all a stronger conviction to learn the Arabic language. As Br Nouman has said in his talk, Allah promises that He would make it easy for those who would like to remember or grasp the Arabic language for the knowledge and the love of the Quran. InsyaAllah..

* my addition out from the real text just to clarify

Messy me?

2010-06-21T01:07:00.000+10:00

Of course I am not posting this photo to show the whole world just how incredibly messy my room is. Try to look at the photo one more time. :D

In control~

2010-06-17T11:36:00.007+10:00

When I was younger and at that stage when you outgrown your outfit really-really fast. Yup, that was about the time. At each phase of that stage, it would occur to me that I would either show favouritism to one particular t-shirt or pants. Here's the thing. At some point, because I was growing, the t-shirt or pants would be too tight or I would look ridiculously funny should I try forcing them onto myself. Usually to my dismay, I would say, "asal baju ni dah kecik" or "naper suar ni dah kecik"... instead of realising that the fact that the baju n suar didn't actually become any smaller. But it was just me growing up to become a big n healthy me :P. Yes yes... not that I am in denial. It's just that I hope that my favourite t-shirt or pants would forever fit me.

What's my point? Some things are just out of your control (ahahaha, yes I could have given a better start to my story). Whether you like it or not there are elements that are just beyond your control. Like growing up for example (yes, my given example laa). And of course the one great example to this is - you can never have your 'own' time. Sigh~ Long sigh~ Yup. The one thing I really want to get hold of badly right now is time. Dah tak kisah dah favourite t-shirt or pants. I just want a remote control for the time. So that I could stop, pause or reverse the time. HOhoHoho... There are just so plenty to do. My timetable has jumbled up all over again. Poor Insyirah had to spend most of her time on her own.

At a twist of fate, currently, I have this one pyjamas which believe or not do get smaller. Seriously laa.. now I could actually say "naper baju ni dah kecik". I know it must be the pyjamas because I am not growing 2mm tall each month. The pyjamas was able to fit a size ten when I bought it (I think) and now I think it has dropped down three sizes. If I stretch my arm, the sleeves is now 3inch away from my wrist. So last time, I couldn't fit any more because I was growing. This time of course, it would not have happened if and only if I have followed the care instructions on it's label. Sigh~ nasib it's cost me only 10dollar.

So you see, then there is the element that you can be in charge of.. taken care of. Aaa.. yes, although you can't control how 'fast' the time is going, you can always have control on what to do with the given time. You can take in charge by making wise plan by not stuffing everything in the end i.e. do your work from time to time and not keeping everything to the very last minute.

Then again.. to all students out there, who are in the same boat as I am. Who are in the process of completing the end of your thesis or simply writing for conferences or journals, I know. Sometimes there are just the time when ideas or good sentences won't come by. Although you have stuck your face from morning till night. I understand. Sigh~ Whether this is an element of 'under control' or 'out of control', I pray that may Allah help and ease our doing so that we can all go home as soon as possible to be among our loving families (especially to newly wed like K afi :P). And of course to me and most, so that we can spend raya in Malaysia this year! Yeay~~~ Amiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn Ya Rabb

Total blank~

2010-06-12T00:35:00.002+10:00

Before I am typing this, I had actually made myself comfortable next to Insyirah with as much plush pillows to support my bulging tummy. Yes I have. I knew I was tired, but my eyes deny to cooperate. Usually I would fall asleep DEAD easily. I wonder what's bothering my mind. To be honest, I don't have anything in mind. It worries me.

So I put away everything, switch on my computer, check on the latest news on fb then look at my ym list, tried to buzz my sister who must be tired after her long exam today but couldn't get hold of her (either she's asleep like what I usually do every time I finished all my exams or enjoying the company with her friends which what I would do second :P)... and finally, that's how I caught myself typing this.

I don't have any plan to make any point for this entry actually. For once I could use this time to write on the topic that I've left out. But then again, honestly, I don't have that 'feeling' tonight. And so why am I typing this (which I wouldn't normally do i.e. to let myself out into public for no particular reason)?

A'ha. I know. Maybe it's my imbalance hormone due to this pregnancy. Aaaa perhaps... I am sorry for making you read this with no benefit what so ever. I will insyaAllah put a more 'convincing' story in the near future. And if you are reading this, you would know that I finally clicked on the 'publish post' after fighting with myself whether or not to save it just as draft. HohoHOHoho.. I see you guys in my later post ;)...

ps: to my dear brain, are you tired? speak to me please...

The Story of a Former Christian Youth Minister

2010-06-08T17:11:00.001+10:00

The video will speak for itself~

Lalala :)~

2010-06-07T00:39:00.010+10:00

It's a week into June, yet I haven't posted any entry since my last. To be honest, there were too much going on and too many to be scrutinized... I realised that I only ended up talking to myself on the issues and not typing it all down here.. And of course in some cases I still have to do some more readings before I could eventually write anything 'decent' about it. Anyway, I guess, maybe I could escape a 'heavy' entry for a while and give you guys some update on what's going on around me. :D

Well, two weeks ago, I had my first scan. YEAY! Was sooooo excited to see it. Insyirah was amazed to see the baby on the screen too. And it convinced her that yes she is going to be THE big sister. I remember my first time looking at Insyirah at the monitor screen. I was totally and completely felt "what a miracle" to see some-being actually living in ME! Though Insyirah was no more than 6cm long, I couldn't express how happy I was when I first saw her. I couldn't wait to touch her. Now she is all grown up and passed the 80cm line *I think :P*. Insyirah could do her funny talk and never failed to make Yaby and I laughing altogether. She also started to become quite useful when come to fetching some things for me or put away things into the dustbin. HohohHOHOHohoho.. yes, it sounded evil. But just take it as if I am training her to be a good helping hand citizen in the future. *clear throat*

The week after as in last week laaa, it was on Wednesday when I started to feel a build up headache. You know the feelings that comes to you telling you something like in my case, 'hey Amy, I think it's going to be your migraine. You better go and get some paracetamol down your throat'. But you see, it won't be a problem if I hadn't ignore that clear message. And so by 11pm, my head was pounding. I grab hold of a rapid panadol but nothing happen. As in I was not relieved at all. I tried cooling down my head and literally pour minyak angin cap kapak around my head. And after 2 hours battle, I fell asleep but only to be woken up again by the head smashing sensation. Sigh~ It was terrible. I never like headache. At this point, yup everything sounded louder and I got easily irritated. And yes, I forgot to mention the vomiting. Adeh~~~ Eh jap, I am not planning to write on my unfortunate migraine adventure. But it links to the next point I about to make, hence, making up this point. huhu...

And so, wrapping up my headache event, it lasted not just a day this time. The headache lasted until Saturday morning. What worries me like crazy was, came that Friday i.e. a day before my head clears up, I had spotting and cramps on the right side of my pelvic. This time not just a small patch like I had in my week four but more of like what you had on your first day of your period. Gilerrrr cuak. Yes I was. Risau tahap gaban. And so I went to see the GP and after two meetings, they came out with a conclusion that it might because of my heavy abdominal muscle reaction due to the vomiting which was caused by the migraine which led to some 'rupture' on the uterus line. They gave me a jab which supposedly prevent me from being nauseous but I didn't think it worked well since I had a couple after getting the jab. Sigh~ never like vomiting too. The doctor said, I shouldn't be worry about the spotting unless if the pain is around the uterus and the spotting continues throughout the weekend. Alhamdulillah, as of today, I haven't had the cramps anymore or pain around the uterus line although there were still some brown spots. I hope it will clear away and give me a piece of mind soon.

To my dear baby, I hope you are nesting well in Mi-mi's 'tummy'. Sorry for all the commotion that was caused by Mi-mi's migraine. I hope you have had a good rest and no more 'bumpy' nights. Can't wait to see you again soon. :D I leave you now with some of Insyirah's latest photos that have been piling in the SD card. And to angah, insyaAllah the video soon too yer. ;)

Misconceptions...

2010-05-27T21:55:00.007+10:00

Alhamdulillah I had a chance to join a crowd of people to listen to two exciting talks by Br Imran. If I must described the style of lecture Br Imran had given, surely I would say it definitely has relatively the same style as Allahyarham Sheikh Ahmad Deedat. May Allah bless his soul and put him among the people He love.

I first 'heard' of the late Sheikh Ahmad Deedat after stumbling with one of his many pamphlet arranged neatly in our little Musolla back in Southampton Uni. I remember the first title that caught my attention was "Jesus is not God". After reading a few I decided to google out who this guy could be. He seems to be incredibly knowledgeable. It was then I found clips of his debate which was his method of da'wah. I was totally impressed by him especially after watching the clip that shows his biography on how he started his quest of learning and understanding the Quran and Bible to reach out to others. Yes, do find the time to do some search on the youtube and watch a few. I can be 99% sure that you can't get enough of him. :)

The second lecture that I attended by Br Imran was on "Allegations against the Quran & Their Clarification". The exciting part was of course when it came down to the QandA session. Alhamdulillah there were some non-muslims who take the time to listen and asked questions. My opinion, all questions except for the last one were answered brilliantly with strong facts. For the last question, Br Imran might have rushed a bit, hence, making it a little less convincing. What was the question you asked me? HohohOHO.. lenkali kite bukak cite. But there is one answer which stand out to me the most that night. It came to me as a seriously fresh perspective.

A lady asked, "How should we react when people mock our beloved Prophet Muhammad saw?". Part of the answer replied by Br Imran sounded something like, "During the time of the Prophet, he was humiliated, shoved with animal gutts but did anyone stand in rally? Did our Prophet instruct anyone to take actions against those people? And do you know that there were more caricatures which makes fun of Prophet Jesus. But did you react the same way? Did you forget that Prophet Jesus is our Prophet too. What we could do instead of joining in a rally is to tell them about Islam i.e. by doing da'wah. You'll be surprise that many of them didn't know the truth about Islam."

p/s: esok I'll have my first 12 weeks scan. So excited to meet my baby! :D

Complaining am I?

2010-05-16T06:48:00.002+10:00

Happy Teacher's Day!!! :) and to my dearest sister Sarah Wong Azman, Happy Birthday. :D

That aside, this morning, I felt like giving my thoughts on one other thing.

I remember I was told that one of the questions that will be asked after your passing is, "What have you done during your youth?". If I have to give a skema answer to the question right now, honestly speaking, I could be sure that I don't have a 100% mark answer. Sigh~

At times when I was reminded of that question, it would strike me hard as a real wake up call. And always, I would try to think of ways that I could contribute to the ummah. Alhamdulillah, in my latest development on drafting what-could-be-done has led to something on which I think is possible to be done. And with Yaby who came out with the idea, insyaAllah I am yakin that this could go all the way as long as Yaby and I really work hard for it. Then of course, at the back of my mind was that other question, "how much difference can an individual make?". I am not being sceptic. I am simply saying based on the reality that surrounds us. Just a while ago, I told Yaby how helpless I felt most of the time after reading the news. I knew that one of the signs of Kiamah is when more people promoting the negative elements and hide the positive. And the bad comes to people as something that is normal while the good isn't.

I think I have lived long enough to understand how the human 'system' works. You see, I am not expecting a perfect and flawless leadership. Should I was a man and destined to become a leader, I know that I would bound to make mistakes along the way. I know the flaws are visible just because we are human. I could accept that. But what I found it hard to accept is when one made a mistake but too ego to apologize. And I even harder to get a sense out of some leaders promoting something that is clearly wrong and stopping the good. And the hardest is to accept the fact that some people knew that they are not capable of taking the job, but refuses to step down for reasons only they and Allah know.

I know becoming some 'people' is not a stroll in the park type of job. It is hard. You'll not only be questioned in this life but even more in the next. And speaking as someone who never takes the leading role, one could argue that I do nothing more than to complain.

As Yaby has put it, "maybe this is a test for people like us". When I asked "how is it like us?", Yaby answered, "Orang-orang yang tak sabar. Yang ingin lihat balasan Allah datang (pada mereka yg berbuat silap) sekarang.". To be honest, there's the glimpse of truth in Yaby's words this morning.

I am an individual. How much difference can I make? I hope you ask the same question too. Just so we could do our part, stop complaining and pray for the best. And may there be greater good at the end of the tunnel.

ps: O Allah, I know this would sound selfish. But please not let 'it' happen in my life time.

Mengejar pelangi~

2010-05-10T18:30:00.006+10:00

I must admit that the time composing this entry is better be used to polish up my draft. Tapi nak buat macam mana~ I think I deserve a small break.

I had the chance to watch Laskar Pelangi. My verdict, an inspiring movie!

One script that stands out the most for me sounded something like;

"Mimpi aku ini bukan untuk berkahwin dengan seorang saudagar. Tetapi mimpi aku untuk menjadi seorang guru" (I didn't dream to marry a rich businessman, but to become a teacher).

The story was about an elderly man and a woman who's dream was to keep one o f the oldest school in Indonesia to continue to be opened. And this is not just an ordinary school. But a school for the poor.

Awal2 lagi, I had tears in my eyes. Not because of a tragic scene but simply because of the sheer determination and courage shown by the kids and the teachers in the movie. On one hand, eager to find knowledge and on the other eager to give and share their knowledge despite the condition of the tattered school and broken furnitures. And at one point in the movie, there was the other lines that I love. The scene was when the elderly man was discussing about the future of the school with his bestfriend. Nak tahu, kena tengok laa. huhuhu... Of course by the end of the movie, lagi sedey laa kan. I don't want to spoil for you just in case you felt like watching it too.

When I decided to become a 'teacher' myself, I have pledged to work hard and give my all in order to provide my students with good insights and understanding on the subjects that I will be teaching. But after watching Laskar Pelangi, I think I am going to add one more to my target. I hope that I would not only teach but also inspire my future students. Just like Lintang! :D

Please do your job~

2010-04-30T06:46:00.013+10:00

Aijooo~ another freak accident. To the family members of Allahyarham Aminulrasyid Amzah, like many Malaysians I also pray that may the truth would finally be revealed.

Let's not take side for a while.

On one hand, the police force was saying that the car was driven suspiciously and suspected to have weapon carried in the car. To add to everything, based on the newspaper report, the police also said that the car has rammed them. Reading these at first, I was shocked. In my head I was saying that just maybe Malaysia's crime has worsen and we have now juveniles as serious outlaws. Then the next day I read the story from the other end. The family was saying that Allahyarham Aminulrasyid has never committed a crime and positively sure that he was not involved in any kind of malicious activities that could harm anyone. Of course upon reading this my heart sank. And at that point I was thinking, alamak~ what if he was not a dangerous criminal after all as has been reported in the previous news? He was only about to turn 15 and died of a gun shot.

This morning, I was reading thestar and was totally taken aback by the statement made by the IGP. Aijoo~ how could you come out with such statement? The statement was, "If you do not want the police to enforce the law, then say so,". Aijooo~ Who said we do not want police enforcement. My personal opinion is, all the family of the victim wanted is justice. They want to know what actually took place that very night lorrrrr~ I just felt that that is sooooo unprofessional of the our police force to be saying that. A better statement would be, "We, the police force will take this case seriously and will investigate this case at all costs. We will hope to eventually find out the truth and may justice be prevailed." Aaaaaaa.. better you see.

I tried to put myself in the Allahyarham mother's shoes. And yes, I would go to the same extra length to find out the truth too. Try to understand. And if after investigations and the truth was as said i.e. the boy was acting dangerously and there are reasons for the need of the police force to use the fire arms, then by all means I would accept it. But until then, boleh tak investigate betul2?

A heavy task~

2010-04-21T13:47:00.006+10:00

If you are animal lover, I bet you will be disheartened to see a bird left alone in a bird cage. Too small for it to even stretch its wings to make a few turn in the air. I wonder if it still remember how to fly. These caged birds live under the 'protection' of the owner who also become the 'sole' provider of foods and water to the birds. Now, my questions are; Do you think these birds are grateful that they has an owner? Do you think the birds are happy living in such a constraint space?

This is a life of a bird we are talking about. But what if we alter the situation a little. What if the caged birds are living human? But these people are not locked in a cell but rather in their own land barricaded by tall walls separating them with the outside world. Unlike the birds who longed to set free away from their caged, these people wants to stay despite they have to build tunnels underneath the ground for food, clean water and medical supply. Yes, they are no other than the Palestinians.

I received a reminder email from one of my colleague. One of them is on the new instalment by the 'Egypt' government as a measure to further stop supply coming in into Gaza. Just to make the lives of the Palestinians harder than ever. They are planning to built an Iron wall that will stretch 20-30m deep underground across Gaza and Egypt. I could not help but to feel sick to my stomach and yes rasa kesian yang teramat to the Palestinians. Ya Allah, please blessed them and give them the strength to live on and survive every hardships they are facing.

What could I do to help? I am positive that many has asked the same question. But I guess we as an individual could do nothing else but to pray. But is it enough. Everyday, children are dying. Rasa helplessnya Ya Allah.

I remember in one lectures given by an Ustaz a few years ago. He said that for as long as there are maksiat happening around the Muslim world, selagi itu there will be no success for Muslims (free the Palestinians). If his claim is true, then I guess the least we could do is to do our part to do amar maa'ruf nahi mungkar. Fikir-fikirkan...

Apa nak jadi~

2010-04-20T18:55:00.009+10:00

So it has been a while.. sorry everyone. I've been quite occupied lately. And if you would like to know how my bad air problem is going on, sadly to say, it has worsen. I've tried every method that was suggested including eating a whole bunch of ginger. Unfortunately for me, the bad air stays. Anyhow, I am coping. Although there were the hours where I can't deny that I was struggling to keep myself focus on anything else. Just pray that everything will be back to normal for me once I pass the first trimester in 5 weeks time OK. :)

Last Saturday, I had the chance to have a coffee hour (although not that I am having any) with some of my friends. One of them is a convert. It was refreshing to hear his side of the story on what he thinks of Muslims in Malaysia. Among his remarks that I could remember was, I quote, "I was taken aback on how Muslims in Malaysia are right now." And another was, "I was in the lift, and some girls wore something that shows more than what Australian girls were wearing.". Yes. He said that. Being a Malaysian, I felt kinda ashamed but has to admit the fact that it is the truth. What's becoming with our youth? The discussions continued and at one point he even claimed that most of the movies shown on the Malaysian teli weren't decent (Nur Kasih is OK ;) hohoho) and how I MUST agree with the statement...

Let's not talk about the foreign movies. I am talking about Malaysian product... Malaysian movies. Some of you who are reading this might say, "tengok tu, tak nak sokong Malaysian film industry". Please~ I branded myself to be patriotic with Islam above others. You see, I could go away with movies like Nur Kasih. A big tick of approval. One of the film that has a BIG NO-NO from me is a recent film now playing in Malaysia. The film has 90% of all the huge negative elements one could think of. From being an escort to gay couple. Alamak~ apa nak jadi??? Since it is comedy genre, I have tried to take it from a humour point of view, but I just can't. Yes yes. Maybe one would say that I am katak bawah tempurung. Itu pun tak boley accept. But I think, I've travelled fair enough to see what is right and what is wrong. The whole setting just don't click with our culture. Maybe that is happening in Malaysia. But for them to actually produce such film and show it to kids who knew less about values... Hmm.. tak boleh.. tak boleh. My honest point of view, I would really don't mind if they just stick to Nur Kasih alike. LOL...

As mentioned in verse 12 of surah Yassin,

Verily, We give life to the dead, and We record that which they send before (them), and their traces and all things We have recorded with numbers (as a record) in a Clear Book.

it actually has the 'traces' to be accorded written in the book.What it is saying (as described by Sheikh Aslam) was, suppose we gave to charity to build a Mosque. Each time someone is praying in the mosque, insyaAllah a good deed will still be recorded in our book even after we have passed away. And if in our life, we have done something or say things that is wrong and someone follows us, for as long as they say or do it (because the idea comes from us), we will be accounted to it.

The verse is clear. Allah has made it clear. We should beware on how our doings could influence others. And how many of us could deny the fact that we learned a lot from what we watched on the tv. Aiyo~ I don't like especially the way they are portraying something that is against fitrah in such a casual manner. Double aiyo~

How could I not be worried since I am planning to raise my children in Malaysia? You tell me... :-|

Bad air problem...

2010-04-14T11:04:00.005+10:00

This second pregnancy is somewhat different to my first. With Insyirah I have my morning-noon-and-night sickness. But alhamdulillah, it wasn't the type of muntah like one of my friends is having right now. She has lost 5kg up-to-date. Kesian. Get well soon Sha. And the last time, I couldn't spent much time browsing the internet and even blogging. HOhohoOHo.. lawak2. For some reason, each time I look at my favourite webpage I would go dizzy .

But this time, instead of morning-noon-and-night sickness, I think I got 'indigestion' problem. But only during sleeping hours. My tummy would become bloated but the 'bad' air refuses to go out from either side of the *ehem*.. exits. So, memanglah my beauty sleep was interrupted. Not only in sleeping position but also in standing, sitting and every position one could think of.. I was left uncomfortable in every way. But alhamdulillah it came only to stir at night time. Not 24-7.

I still don't know what causing it since I only has been experiencing it for the last four nights now. And I still haven't found any remedy for it. With Insyirah, I've countered my morning-noon-and-night sickness by eating dry biscuits every now and then during the day and at night I had a small container filled with raisins. And I had trained my subconscious mind to grab some should I felt the gas was about to come. And it worked perfectly. But this one.. hmm. adeh~

I've looked for some suggestions on the web and would definitely put it to the test tonight. In case you have had this in your earlier pregnancy, do share the tips. Kesian amelia wong azman :p huhuhuhu~

Don't turn around~

2010-04-12T04:31:00.002+10:00

Where was I.. aaa yes.. as I mentioned in my previous post, I've bought the 1001 inventions: Muslim heritage in our World book. Is an eye opener to many I suppose. Each time I reached a point which I think was super awesome, I would read the point out loud to Yaby. And after sometimes, Yaby said, "they took the knowledge but not the value". Yaby's claim is true indeed.

I too have wonder every now and then why some people who especially work in the domain where they dwell in the realm which will bound to find them 'looking' or 'finding' at a miracle would still not embrace Islam?

Then in last Friday tafsir class on surah Yassin, might just have an answer to my question.

"Verily! We have put on their necks iron collars reaching to chins, so that their heads are forced up. And We have put a barrier before them, and a barrier behind them, and We have covered them up, so that they cannot see. It is the same to them whether you warn them or you warn them not, they will not believe." 8-10:Yassin

What these three verses mean are such that, there are some people whom Allah has shown them the signs right before them, as if serving on a plate, yet they turn their heads away because of their arrogance. Hence, in the verse Allah said, for these people "We have put on their necks iron collars reaching to chins", which means they could hardly move their heads to see where they are going i.e. no more guidance to them. And it continues, "And We have put a barrier before them, and a barrier behind them, and We have covered them up, so that they cannot see". Listening to this makes my heart tremble. I would not want to be in a state even for a second that I would be left without His guidance. And to be all covered up.. Nauzubillah himinzalik.

Sheikh Aslam also mentioned that these verses came down in the form of two reasons: 1) as a warning to people whom Allah has given sign yet ignore the clear signs and 2) for muslims (who brings the words of Islam i.e. da'wah) so that they would not distressed when their effort goes to nothing. I guess for the second point, it would be a reminder for us muslims too that Hidayah is not something we could offer. We could only try our best to inform and bring out the truth. The rest is in Allah's hand.

I would pray for Allah to open the hearts of the non-muslims who are working behind the 1001 exhibitions. And may Allah granted them the best gift He could offer - His Hidayah.

I am pregnant!!! :D

2010-04-08T11:01:00.002+10:00

hehehe... I guess that's all I really want to shout~ HohohOHOHo..

They arrived!

2010-04-07T11:07:00.009+10:00

Got my two books today! As Jia said when she saw the packaging, "present mi-mi". I was sooooo hooked with the 1001 Inventions: Muslim Heritage book that Jia came menyibuk trying to sway my attention towards her again. hehehe.. A must have book! One that really strikes me is on the Robinson Crusoe.. there were many similarities in which one might think if he actually has taken it from an Islamic literature? hmmm... :D hehehe.. BUKU BEST! As for my second book, belum sempat going through just yet. Hopefully soon. :)

Bite.. bite.. but not cheesy bite!!

2010-04-03T21:58:00.004+10:00

Just finished talking to Ummi and Daddy on the phone. Among the voices that I longed to hear for comforts or reassurance as well as encouraging words! They are the two people that know me inside out. The two people I could trust! The two people whom I could totally rely on!! Hehehe.. Love you both Ummi and Daddy!!!

Anyway, as usual I was pouring to Ummi and Daddy on my upcoming challenges. Hoping that they could make extra prayer for me. And I told them how I was worried sick and blaa blaa. And now, if you are reading this in my actual tone, you could actually feel that I am HAPPY! If you didn't get that, let me just tell you that I felt totally stress free now!

Yes, I still have to do this and that. But this uplifting spirit I am having right now would definitely keeps me running at least until the big day. Daddy was telling me that there was nothing to be afraid of IF YOU ARE PREPARED! I take his words and highlighted it before storing it safely in my memory. And Daddy told me of one of his projects which Daddy claimed to be near impossible. And he said, at times we will have to face it. We just have to BITE THE BULLET! I have to bite the bullet.

I pray for Allah's mercy that He will help and ease my doings on that day. Amiiiiin~ Thank you Allah for surrounding me with all these lovely people who always care for me!

On the note~

2010-03-31T05:26:00.006+10:00

"It's not a matter of 'proving' to anyone simply because 'this' is not a matter of 'proving'. Maybe I was trying too hard on my part. I should have let it come and go. Being acknowledge is all I hope for. Because to me, once you acknowledge that a person is a 'part' of your life, then only you can learn to care for them. If I may ask, would you rather be the falling leaves or a bed of flowers that is just too rare to come by during autumn." - ellywong

My big gurl...

2010-03-30T13:49:00.002+10:00

Playing masak-masak with all her teddies....

I then kacau Jia asking her to pose for the camera.. hehe

Sister and brothers~

2010-03-27T05:16:00.017+10:00

In yesterday's class, the second part was one surah Al-Alaq. I've looked on Islamic Lesson webpage and they have yet to upload yesterday's talk. InsyaAllah soon. From the way I see it, I would never look at surah Al-Alaq the same way again. Do have the time to check some other time and find the time to listen to it. Two weeks from now, Sheikh Aslam will touch on surah Yassin. Looking forward to that.

Anyway, I guess the current highlights in the Malaysian newspaper are based on a speech given by one of the MPs in one of the Parliament sittings. In his speech, the MP wraps on what he believes as the ugly truth that lies behind the heavy curtains of Malaysia's political structure. And since I am not into politic, I could only commend on the non-direct-politically-related-issues. HohohoHOHO.. Having said that, while I would hope that my children would avoid sebaik mungkin becoming one of the backbenchers, I still salute those who enter politic because of what he or she believes and passion and with the intention to serve the people. And NEVER as a means to conjoin status gained from the politic with other 'unhealthy' ambitions.

So I was reading Imam Nawawi book again. What I did was, I took the book and open the pages randomly. And guess what? It landed on 'Making judgement of People'. In one of the hadiths, it mentioned of one Sahabah question to Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

Narrated Al-Miqdad bin 'Amr Al-Kindi: An ally of Bani Zuhra who took part in the battle of Badr with the Prophet, that he said, "O Allah's Apostle! If I meet an unbeliever and we have a fight, and he strikes my hand with the sword and cuts it off, and then takes refuge from me under a tree, and says, 'I have surrendered to Allah (i.e. embraced Islam),' may I kill him after he has said so?" Allah's Apostle said, "Do not kill him." Al-Miqdad said, "But O Allah's Apostle! He had chopped off one of my hands and he said that after he had cut it off. May I kill him?" The Prophet said. "Do not kill him for if you kill him, he would be in the position in which you had been before you kill him, and you would be in the position in which he was before he said the sentence." The Prophet also said to Al-Miqdad, "If a faithful believer conceals his faith (Islam) from the disbelievers, and then when he declares his Islam, you kill him, (you will be sinful). Remember that you were also concealing your faith (Islam) at Mecca before." (These are not the exact text from Riyadhus salihin but a copy and paste from here.)

After reading the hadith, it shook my heart on how great it is to mean well.. to bersangka-baik. What could have been a better example than this?

And the following hadith tells the story of Usamah Bin Zaid r.a who killed a man after the man said "La ilaha illallah". Upon reaching Madinah, Prophet Muhammad s.a.w who had heard the news asked Usamah, "O Usamah, did you kill him after he professed La ilaha illallah?". Usamah replied, "O Messenger of Allah! He professed it only to save his life.". Prophet Muhammad repeated the question again and Usamah said, "He went on repeating this to me until I wished I had not embraced Islam before that day (so I would have not committed this sin)".

I would not want to be in that position too. Especially in the presence of our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. And in another naration of the above hadith on Usamah, the wordings scare the hell out of me. It is said that, Prophet Muhammad said, "Why did you not cut his heart open to find out whether he had done so sincerely or not?".

Yup!!! It says it all. I later found out that the full title for the chapter reads as "Making judgement of people keeping in view their evident actions and leaving their hidden actions to Allah". Aaaaa.. yes yes. It says it all again!!! So apa lagi, bersangka-baik people. Jom bersangka-baik.

I think it was early this year that Yaby shared a point from Jumaah Khutbah. Where it touched on how Islam did not recommend and condemning personal attacks to be used among Muslims. Simply because it can bring and leads to greater destruction and loss in the Muslim community. I mean lets faced it though. 'This' is what really IS happening in Malaysia! Group A said this and that on Group B. Group B also said this and that about Group A. And saper yang menang? Tak tahu. And indeed, the fiasco that comes from this mouth bashing act comes as another means for another group of people to manipulate the situations further. So saper yang rugi? Sigh~

My conclusion, we are Brothers and Sister not in blood but comes with the syahadah. And now that we are family, we have to remember that "family never talk bad about one another".

MY school...

2010-03-23T23:21:00.014+10:00

Macam-macam.. Sigh~~ You know I know we can't avoid not reading the newspaper. Just because we need to know the current issues and of course not to forget how it could help to improve our vocabulary. The things is, after I was becoming all kusut-masai with my research, the last thing I want to hear is another series of bad news. Unfortunately for me, news couldn't be better.

There's one news a few days ago that caught my attention. Yes, he has made many headlines before and this too will never be his last. As much as I honestly dislike his approach (literally.. seriously.. :P), I can't deny the fact that he did bring out many important facts for which we could do some thinking.

Anyway, last weekend was a handful one. It has been a while. On Saturday, there was the friendly football tournament among Malaysians. Yaby was among those wearing the soccer boots. Now that his leg is fully recovered, Yaby has begun playing football again.

While the mommies were sitting under the tree enjoying the game under the cloudy blue skies, we had an interesting chat on the education system here in Brisbane. And the topic continues when I visited Lyn on Sunday. Some of the fun facts on the school system here are the following:

The teachers will have meeting with a parent once a month (betul kan lyn kan.. ke I silap dengar.. hehe). I think this is good since it keeps the parents in the loop.
In one class of fourty++, there are FOUR teachers! That does not include parents who become volunteer. How good can this be!!
They have interactive education tools in class and not to forget to mention the kitchen that they have! Best nyer~
The kids do have homework but the teachers have a guide on how much homework can they give a student at a particular age. I have heard stories from Malaysia of small children age 3 who was given homework and have exams??? And to have tuitions at the age of five??? Alamak~
They love to give certificate of appreciations to these kids. I actually saw it with own eyes when I went to K Zai's house. It says "The most improved in science subject" among others.
They have game during assembly!!!

I am not sure how our primary school is improving nowadays. Hopefully to the better especially after all the mess created by some people. Kesian budak2~

I love my primary school days. If I didn't hear the comments made by my friends who have children attending schools here in Brisbane, I would have thought that my school had done enough for me. Especially when we only have to pay some small amount of money for the school fees (not for the price of the school books though. And seriously, too much oooo dulu~ Berat gilerr).

But after listening to educational system they are having here, I think there are some good points which we could apply to our primary schools too. Maybe we won't have the budget to put a kitchen in every class just yet :P, but we could start off by having the 'show-and-tell' routine. What is a show-and-tell? It's like this. One student will go to the front of the class with an item of what he wants to share with the whole class. And he or she will talk on the item for about 5 minutes or so. Yes!!! Presentation skills! Indirectly it builds confidence in the kids and self-esteem. Of course, teachers must make sure it is a pleasant and stress-free activity. I am sure the kids would love it and that is how school should be. A fun and an exciting place! :)

I know it's impossible to overhaul the current system but there's always room for improvement. I understand that Malaysia system is too exam oriented. Because of that, kesian cikgu2 are pressure to make sure that the kids perform well in every subjects. If not, the school ranking will go down. I can understand now why we had so much homework. And the thing is, it has also becoming a mindset that only the kids with 'As' in their report card will excel in life. Seriously, how wrong can that be! And yes, because of that, I have heard stories of which parents would want so much from the school and blame the school when their kids get low marks in the exams and when not getting enough homework. Apa daa~

While I can't deny that there are the good sides for both educational systems i.e. ours and others, in the end it is really important to understand that down the line, what the system needs to achieve is for our kids to be able to apply the knowledge they got from school. Not just getting the correct answers for all the exams questions but also to apply the knowledge practically.

Oh yes, in case if you want to know the football match result, Yaby's team won 3-1.

On the note~

2010-03-21T17:48:00.004+10:00

A simple statement can mean different things when read or said in a different tones. And at times, you thought a person would know you well enough that they would understand. Yet, you are wrong. Adeh~ susah2...

O Allah guide us all.. embrace our hearts. Let it not be under the influence of the syaitan.

Quick post

2010-03-18T12:58:00.004+10:00

After getting the sad news from back home, I decided to pull the Riyadhus-Salihin and open chapter "The book of Visiting the Sick". In case you are new to Riyadhus-Salihin (which I were too not long ago), it is a book of compilation of hadiths by Imam An-Nawawi. And speaking of Imam An-Nawawi, I couldn't help but to feel high admiration for him. And if there is one other thing that he could inspire us is on his method of learning. It is mentioned in the bibliography of Imam an-Nawawi that he would make notes on every material that he was reading. And if you happen to buy one and read Riyadhus Salihin, you will feel more amazed on how he compiled thousands of hadith according to related events and how he found most useful. Which I do think too! And on the note, of course when it comes to learning hadiths, the best way is still of course by having some Sheikh or Ustaz to explain it to us.

In the beginning of the chapter it stressed out the five rights of every muslin to one another i.e. 1) return the greetings, 2) visit the sick, 3) accompany funeral processions, 4) accept an invitation and 5) to respond to the sneezer when the sneezer praises Allah. And as I read further into the chapter, I came upon the hadith below:

Abu said Al-Khudri r.a. reported: The messenger of Allah saw said,"Exhort your dying men to recite: 'La ilaha illallah'" - Muslim

I found the commentary given by Imam An-Nawawi worth noting. In this commentary he said, I quote:

"This hadith implies the Prophet's instruction to his followers to recite the testification of Islam: La ilaha illallah (There is no God except Allah) besides the dying people so that they may also recite it after hearing it. Yet, they should not be urged to recite it (i.e. by saying to the dying person: say it, say it) lest they refuse in embarrassment involving an affront to Faith. May Allah guard us against such a thing!"

Dulu, after the passing of my grandmother, I did asked the silly question i.e. whether she managed to recite it just because I heard that some people said that if you are a good person you will be able to recite it on your last breath. And if you do recite it, you will enter straight to jannah. And truly, after reading this hadith, I have to make myself clear that there is no such thing. It is never a definitive measurement of anyone's Iman. wallahualam..

p/s: amelia and yasir doakan semoga Allah golongkan Hasan dikalangan mereka yang Allah kasihi. kepada mak teh dan keluarga, semoga terus cekal dan tabah.

Stay focus~

2010-03-14T10:58:00.007+10:00

In the last couple of months, Jia has at least one nose bleed per week. I found myself googling for answers on "if it's serious", "why it happened", "what need to be done" and even confirmed if everything is OK with Jia's Mak Long and Mama Citi.

So the answer is it's normal and it happened because the small veins in the nose lining bursts. I should only be worried if the blood did not stop and she has it with a temperature. And the are also list can be found here. And here is a copy-paste text from the website on how it should be treated:

A nosebleed can be a very traumatic event for the child. They will often be scared and think something is seriously wrong with them because there is so much blood. So it is important that the parent stays calm. They should cuddle the child and say something reassuring, like, 'It's OK, let's sit down, then you'll be fine. I'm here and I'll make sure you're OK.

When the child is sitting down, hold their nostrils with your fingers, a handkerchief or a facecloth.
Pinch the lower, soft part of the nose between the thumb and forefinger.
The grip should be firm and the pressure on the nose steady.
Hold the child's nose for 10 minutes. Look at a watch so you are sure 10 minutes have passed before letting go.
If the child is old enough, teach them how and where to hold their own nose.
If in doubt, have the doctor or health visitor show you how to hold the nose.
It may be a good idea to read a story or watch television while waiting, to divert the child's attention.
After the nosebleed has stopped, the child should not play any rough games for a couple of hours to prevent the nosebleed starting again.
Tell the child not to pick, rub or blow their nose for a couple of days.
If the bleeding continues, try the same procedure once more.
If the bleeding doesn't stop, call the doctor.

So it happened today again. Just a while a go. I was cooking when I could here Jia said, "wash.. wash". When I popped my head to see what happened, there she was, walking towards me with blood stains around her face and hand.

Here's the thing, even after going through the list, I still switched to my panic mode! And that cause Jia to cry. I know.. I know... I am not cool. Panic always gets the best of me. Sigh~ I thought after making a joke out of it while walking with Yaby to the office last Friday could at least remind me to keep my cool especially when it involves my kids. But it proves to be not enough. It's like someone actually hit my panic button and there's no way of stopping that person!Apa laa amelia wong~

They say we learned most from our parents. And this is definitely not a trait I want my children to follow. :P HohohoHOHO... Raise up your hands if you are or used to be just like me. Now, give me high-five! And please.. let me know if you have a way to overcome or at least hide it.

Okes, I need to check my chicken now! ;)

Quick post

2010-03-12T09:51:00.004+10:00

This week too, I won't be able to attend Aslam's class. This time, to celebrate Sha since she's going back for good.

Anyhow, I've been meaning to share one other thing which I got from Yaby which he got again from Aslam. And before I forgot to mention. I have actually included Islamic Lesson webpage in my reading list in case if you wish to listen to his lecture. Do try to browse through it.

I don't really know how Aslam had said during the Khutbah but it sounded more or less something like (which I got from Yaby) -

If Allah loves you, you will receive many tests or hardships on this earth as an act of punishment to lessen our 'left' scale on the day of judgement.

Seriously, to be honest, there were times when I just felt geram at some people and do hope that they would get a serious punishment and humiliation on this earth. It has come to the extend where I want to pray something bad to happen to these people. The 'people' I meant are for example the murderer of Allahyarham Nurin Jazlin or those people that made the 'decisions' to take some people's land by killing the innocences and etc..

Then again, it shows how simple minded and emotional I was. First, I remember reading a hadith that said one should only make good doa for others as if you are making the doa for yourself (Oh maann, I know I should have made a note about this. I couldn't find it. sigh~). Second, who knows, if Allah has planned to give those people His Hidayah, they might be even better person and insyaAllah could have greater positive impact. And thirdly, it might be because of what Aslam has mentioned. That is, Allah has no love for them and they might deserve a greater punishment in the next life. Wallahualam..

That's it for now I guess. Happy Friday~ ;)

On the note~

2010-03-08T11:00:00.003+10:00

I've lost track of the dates~ when weekend was like every normal days.

ps: Sorry Jia.. Mi-mi should have played with you more yesterday isn't it :(.

Money money money.. always money...

2010-03-05T00:22:00.012+10:00

When my youngest brother told me that he was going for a job that offering him rmXXXX a month, as a concerned sister I told him "Are you sure?".

Let's faced it. Who ever said that living in Malaysia is cost effective is just rubbish. To start with, groceries prices are hiking. Inflation taking its toll. Then there is the other toll i.e. road toll. From my place to KL would cost a fortune and still I would have to face the traffic jam. Am I paying to be stuck in a jam?? Darn! Petrol prices aren't helping either. Traffic + idle car = more petrol. Adeh~ and remind me why do I still want to live in Malaysia again? Nasib because that is my tanah tumpah darah laa. <-- hohoho patriotik di situ.

Anyway, my brother reassure me, telling me he hates to wait at home doing nothing (I see some Chinese blood there :D). He got accepted without his transcript since the graduation will only be in mid this year. At that point, listening to his reasoning and determination, I practically has to respect his decision despite the strong urge that I have wanting him to wait for another job offer.

It has been almost two months now, but so far I haven't heard a single complain from him about the company except him worrying getting all tanned up (takper azam, fair and lovely ada :P hohoho). In fact, he broke a news telling me that the boss is thinking to give him a pay rise. And just a while ago, he confirmed the news and will get the raise starting next month.

You see, while we can't deny that money has its importance, but we should remember that it is not the source or answer to everything. Having a lot of money does not guarantee that you will be happy. Some has millions but still felt he or she hasn't got enough (and would go as far as to get untung atas angin yang melampau by selling at a higher price including credit card fees and whatever surcharge one could think of. Sigh~). And some could even hire the best doctor. But that doesn't mean that one has secured a long life of good health. Or one could pay millions to look younger by cosmetic surgery or having botox every now and then (which surprisingly more men is getting into this business) . But then again, you can never fight nature. And sooner or later, your age would finally consume you.

Truly is, that feeling of content is God given. Whenever He wanted to make anyone felt satisfy, He could just do it and vice versa. Even to some people who has just enough on a day-to-day basis. If He says you are going to live a happy life, you will. But that doesn't mean that one has to stop doing anything and hope miracle would happen and there will be food ready on the table. Kena berusaha la~

And the way one usaha, is of course not through that ragut or rompak and all. Hmm.. yes, I can't deny the fact that there are many social problems which are rooted in poverty.

The other day, Yaby told me of what Aslam shared in one of the Jumaah Khutbahs. Someone who didn't pay zakat might think that he or she is saving a lot. And instead, the money could be used to cover his or her own expenses. But one should not forget that Allah has many way to take back what He has given. Like for example, the car suddenly started to break down and need a repair work. Or a family member got sick and you have to pay a large sum of money for the medical bills. I mean, there are just simply too many ways that the money could be taken away from us.

By its own definition, zakat is an act of purifying one's wealth. And let's face it. Zakat, the third Pillar of Islam, is the key solution to both group of people i.e. the rich one and the not so rich one. When the rich gives to charity, insyaAllah the rich will become content. As for the needy, they could benefit from the money to improve their lives by getting a better education or to start a small business where they can generate more income for better living.

I've taken the liberty to do some maths. There are about 28millions population in Malaysia. Of which, let say 60% are Muslim. And one third of the 60% has wealth that satisfy the nisab after deducting whatever that is allow for the person. If let say the minimum amount of zakat that need to be paid by an individual is RM100. This means that the total zakat collection in Malaysia that could be put to good use is RM560million per year. And I think that is a lot of money!!! My suggestion would be, instead of building more mosques next to each other why not build schools for a change, or help students who were the victims of PTPTN to pay off their loans or to establish funding to pay fees for needy students. And I bet the amount is actually more than that. But why are there still needy people in Malaysia? You tell me...

And as for my brother, as long as he is content and happy, I guess it is better off for him to continue working at his current workplace. After all I don't want to be blamed if he got a 5 figures job but hasn't got a life and turn into a boring, no-life, workaholic boy. Like they say, "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". And my guess is, if he pays the zakat, he would become a happier person (as long as he stops worrying about jadi itam manis laa ye Azam. hihihi ;P).

Take care bro digging all the tunnels using that boring machine you just mentioned! ;)

Give it another try~

2010-03-01T23:56:00.001+10:00

You know how you sometimes did something but didn't realise you actually have? Like when you locked the door but you couldn't remember for sure. It's like your brain has registered the routine you are going to make. An example would be, you grab the bag, slipped the sandal under your feet, unlatched the lock and put the door behind you. And because of that, sometimes there will be lapses in between your brain registering the action you've done and your body movement which resulted you being unsure if something has been done. Hope you got what I mean.

And so, nak dijadikan cerita, it has happened to me like 5 times in a row last month of something which I need a brain tuning.

You see, when it came my turn to introduce myself to someone I've never met, in the last five occasions, I've forgotten to address myself as "Kak Amy". Adeh~ "amelia wong azman, you are 28 this year. Please understand that." Of course, there was this odd seconds and which I later had to make the abrupt change to "Yes, yes.. Kak Amy" and offering her my big lovely smile as an indirect apology before the poor being thought she looks older than her age.

Am I in denial? Oh tidak. I totally acknowledge my age. I know I couldn't beat my 100m dash record anymore because I'm no longer ten. Or eat as much fat and sweets without having to worry about my weight. Yes yes, lower metabolism that is.

I remember someone telling me, that if you repeatedly doing something some X number of times (I couldn't remember for sure how many), your body will then do what ever you are repeating easily if not automatically. Say for example, you have forced yourself to do a morning jog for a X number of times consecutively, hence, the next coming days after X number of days will be easy. In other words, it will come to you naturally. It do make sense since it is clear that the more times we reiterate a text, the chances of getting all the words in the text correctly is much greater. Yup because you have echoed the same wordings to your brain again and again.

And because for that reason, *clear throat* I could excuse myself for the kesilapan during introducing myself since I have been doing that as long as I can remember :P. Of course the other reason would also be because I've forgotten to update my brain profile on how older I looked on the outside. Sigh~ I couldn't help it. It's just because I am so used to feel than I am the same me 21 years ago. Yup, honestly speaking I never felt any less older in the inside (and I am quite positive you guys felt the same way too kannnnnn? hehe).

Having said all this, if the assumption about the "X number of times" is true, then I guess we could all put it to the test. Like, trying to force ourselves to leave the bed and perform the night prayer or to give to charity more than the usual amount or to read more books or to give salam to a stranger (which I found much easier to do when I am not in Malaysia).

Happy trying~ Do tell me if it works! :D

Quick post

2010-02-28T13:49:00.002+10:00

When human behaving badly.. worse than animal. Al-fatihah to Allahyarham Syafiah Humairah Sahari (thanks to Zu's status I got to know about this news).

Right now, I have mixed feeling - disgust and sakit hati to the guy and kesian to Allahyarham. Yang pasti, Allah lebih sayang Allahyarham.

And of course a few days before there's the brutal murder of the Malaysian driver in Sydney. He was stabbed a few times and smashed with a hammer. Apparently from the news, the killer was the husband of the woman he was having affair with.

I mean what is going on with all these people. How could the murderer of Allahyarham Syafiah have a heart to do something like that? What's going on with the family institutions? Why must you have an affair with anyone?? And with a married woman??? Nauzubillah.. minta dijauhkan all the negative influence. Why would they go as far as to kill the person? I mean do you think you could get away with it? Kan dah sia-sia.

Adeh~

On the note~

2010-02-24T07:49:00.008+10:00

Before I totally forget to share about it, this is from part 2 of Aslam's class last Friday.

After the first part on Solat, the second part of the lecture was on Ayatul Kursi. I am going to have to make it in bullet points ye kawan2. ;)

I never have realised the significant of the earlier verse right before Ayatul Kursi. The translation of the verse is
"O you who believe! Spend of that which We have provided for you, before the Day comes when there will be no bargaining, nor friendship, nor itnercession. And it is the disbelievers who are the Zalimun (wrong-doers)" - Quran 2:254
It highlights the importance to give to charity from what was given to us by Him. A big reminder to many.

"Kursi", literally means a "footstool" or "chair". The Prophet Muhammad PBUH has mentioned that, "The Kursi compared to the 'Arsh is nothing but like a ring thrown out upon an open space of the dessert". This shows how great the Kursi is.

The Prophet PBUH once asked Ubayy bin Ka'b:
“O Abu Munthir (i.e., Ubayy)! Do you know what the greatest verse of the Quran is?" He responded: “Allah and His Messenger know best."
He then asked (again): “O Abu Munthir! Do you know what the greatest verse of the Quran is?" He responded: “Allah and His Messenger know best."
He then asked (again): “O Abu Munthir! Do you know what the greatest verse of the Quran is?" He responded: “Allah and His Messenger know best."
He then responded: “Allaahu Laa Ilaaha illaa Huwa Al-Hayyul-Qayyoom.” [Quran 2:255]
Thereupon, he tapped him on his chest and said: “O Abu Munthir! May Allaah nourish you with knowledge!” - [Muslim]

The words "Allaahu Laa Ilaaha illaa Huwa Al-Hayyul-Qayyoom" summarises the Glory of Allah. It is repeated for the second time in the second verse in Surah Ali-Imran.

Allah has many names but the 99 are the ones that Allah has made clear. The translation for Al-Hayyul-Qayyoom which is "the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all the exist" are the inclusive of all 99 names. For example, for Allah to See, Allah must be Living. (note: one should not literally take the word 'see' or 'living' when are used to described the Creator. it is not the same as the word living referring to we human beings.)

It is encouraged to recite Ayatul Kursi once you awake, before going to sleep and after each prayer. Again, to show the greatness of the verse and how the verse reflects on the Greatness of Allah.

Sufi Art Allah in Arabic Calligraphy (by Fahdi)

Quick post

2010-02-22T16:47:00.002+10:00

A photo which I took after I heard Jia repeatedly saying 'piggle-piggle' (iggle-piggle) and 'patta-patta' (makka-pakka).. Ni sebab kes takde baby sister or baby brother to play with laa kann... hehehe..

***

lonely~
i am so lonely~
i have no baby~
to play with me~~~
lonely~
i am so lonely~
nobody but teddy~
all around me~~~
lonely~~

***

I want.. I need...

2010-02-19T08:37:00.007+10:00

Yesterday, we got our electricity bill. I go - WHAT?!! If it's not because of the monthly consumption chart, I would think that I've been wasting a lot of energy lately. There goes a Bacarrat set. Sigh~~

They say the last few months for any research student is the most challenging.. yes yes.. I agree. In every way that is!

Put aside the crazy hours you have to spent battling to produce the best numbers, figures, sentences.. You also have to think budget.. Budget people. Of course if you are anak Tan Sri or yang sewaktu dengannya, then this is soooo out of the question.

Say for example myself. Since this few months will be the last, I am trying to get the best bargain for the items I am targeting for. Although I have a very-very-very long list, from sewing machine to kitchenware, I knew I could not have everything.

Alamak~ There's always this fight between what you NEED and what you WANT. At times I knew I couldn't tell the difference :P hohoho. That is trying to justify to Yaby why I need a brand new bag when I've been using Yati's dermalogica bag most of the time. "Dah, nanti beli bag, letak nappy Insyirah", are the words from Yaby. Usually, at the time when the desire or the nafsu came, I seldom looked at Yaby's statement as something positive rather an intervention to stop me getting what I 'need'. But as the bad-bad nafsu fade away, of course I know it is something I want rather than need. Hehe..

When Allah created human being to become the khalifah on earth, Allah the most Great has included two traits - nafsu (desire) and akal (the ability to think and reason). These two traits differentiate human being from the angels and from the animals. It is a fitrah that we human has. While we knew how human could perish because of desire, desire can be good too. Because of 'desire' we human wants to improve and to become successful and to help others and to do more good things. So we know that the good and bad are all constitute within having the desire.

But... masa sekolah dulu, I always thought to myself, why can't Allah just create human like the angels. Never commit sins and always abide to Allah's commands. And everyone will enter the paradise. Happy. Case closed. Then I got a perspective answer from a talk. In the talk the speaker mentioned that when Allah wants to create the human being, He wanted to make it different than what He has created. He already has the angels who continuously obey and exalting Him without fail. And so Allah gave human desire. But of course the answer is in the Quran:

And (remember) when your Lord said to the angels: "Verily I am going to place (mankind) generations after generations on earth." The said: "Will You place therein those who will make mischief therein and shed blood, - while we glorify You with praises and thanks and sanctify You." He (Allah) said: "I know that which you do not know". Quran - 2:30

Yup, a prove to the limitation of my brain... for only He knows the reasons.

But He didn't leave us just like that to crumble. He equip human with akal, so that we human could think and find a way to control our desire. So that we human could choose with reasoning which way is the best for themselves. And more importantly, Allah brings down Islam, the perfect teaching that could help us to control our desire. In my case, I definitely has to remind myself again and again that wasatiah is the key. Cannot berlebih-lebihan when there are still people around us that are in need. Adoi~ nampak macam senang but seriously susah. You will know what I mean if you ask an Ustaz or Ustazah the definition of berlebih-lebihan. Adeh~~ takut. O Allah, please forgive me...

So, to wrap up, it's Friday again and in a few weeks time, it's officially autumn! Yeay~~ sejuk sket. Happy Friday everyone~~ :D

On the note~

2010-02-15T12:22:00.005+10:00

Yaby and I have always called Insyirah - Insyirah. Since we hope that we will pray for her each time we call her. I guess, it must have been too long for her. And so, a few days ago, she has started to called herself, Jiya. I've googled just to make sure it hasn't got any bad meaning should she continued to use it. And lucky enough, one meaning associated to it is "piece of heart". And an arabic word close to it is Najiyah which means "safe". So, boley laa~

To mama citi, it is not "shishi" tau. :P

**I've extended my search with various spelling, Gia in Itally means "God is Gracious" <-- so long as we refer to it to Allah laa kan that is. Jia, in Chinese could either mean "beautiful" or "family".

The goodness of smile~

2010-02-12T10:12:00.010+10:00

For no particular reason, on last Wednesday I suddenly recalled one of my memories during my high school.

Unlike most of my friends who had the opportunity to go to Sekolah Agama, well, I didn't. Simply because of the tight budget Ummi and Daddy faced at that time. In short, we learned most Islam related teachings at home with Ummi as the Guru Besar.

Nak dijadikan cerita, it was finally my time to wear that bright blue kain baju kurung. Yup. I was finally in form one. Alamak~ now I recalled a mishap I had on my first day at SMPBK. LOL. Takpe, insyaAllah will spill it some other time.

Days passed by and finally it was my first Tafsir class ever!! i.e. that is much related to the Quran. After Ustazah S mentioned on hafazan, that there was 6 altogether that we have to learn by heart, she told us to open surah number 2 verse 201. Yup, the verse goes like this:

"Rabbana atina fid-dunya hasanatan wa fil ‘akhirati hasanatan waqina ‘adzhaban-nar" 2:201
Give us good in this world and good in the hereafter, and protect us from the punishment of the fire.

She also added that after 5 minutes, she wants everyone to stand up and read it without the text. Who ever failed, one could not sit.

Ok Ok.. here's the thing. I know to many the verse comes very handy i.e. read as a prayer after solat (although at that time I didn't realise it). The thing is, when I was doing my Dua at that time, I said it in Malay. And honestly speaking I have never made any effort to find the doa book and hafal all the good invocations you see.

So apa lagi. I was all sweaty and my heart was pumping so hard that I think the whole class could hear it!! Mana tak nyer, I was sitting at the first row, second column from the teacher's table. My favourite spot. Which means that I have less than 7 additional minutes to get it right before I have to recite it in front of the whole class and DID NOT get it wrong!

Why am I so afraid to get it right? Aaaaa... sebabnya, Ustazah S looks very garang to me. Takut kena rotan laaaa. Seriously, she hardly smile. I like her and I really think she's knowledgeable. But is she approachable? Hmm...

You see, I think those who has a profession which has to meet people on a regular basis, say for example, a teacher or even a cash registrar, is very important that they keep those smile. I know.. I know I am being unfair since they might feel all tired and all. But seriously, their cheery smile could lift anyone's spirit. In addition to that, of course it is good for the business.

I have a few times, a bit grumpy I would say. But this fine lady who's working at the cash register smile and say a few jokes and terus, I was all good again. But then there were also time when I am all happy, but when it was my turn to pay, this other lady would not even look at your face let alone to smile or say hello. Ades~ it's like stabbing a knife on my finger. Terus the first thing that came to mind was "Is it because I am wearing a hijab?" and my good spirit left me. I always told Yaby, that if any of my worker caught not interacting good towards the customer, will be fired immediately! Ahahaha... Itu pun if I have a business laa kann :P

As for being a teacher, I seriously think that one should be approachable. Not only it would make the class happy but also students would love the subject more. And honestly, at that time, after the recitation, although I manage to get it right (sbb under pressure), each time it was tafsir class, I would always have that cuak feelings. And it is suppose to be the best subject in the entire world! Sigh~

Tapi takpe. I know becoming Ustazah can be difficult especially when you have the responsibility to teach and disciplining the students. I still think Ustazah S is a good teacher. Where ever she is, I thank her for what she has given me. InsyaAllah I won't run away should I accidentally met her at a shopping mall when I am back home. :)

It's Insyirah's second year~ :D

2010-02-11T10:04:00.007+10:00

Dearest Insyirah,

Happy 2 years old birthday!!!

We all pray that you will grow up to be a happy, good and caring Muslim. May Allah bless you and gives you good health. Mi-mi and Ya-yah love you soooo much! You might not understand why there will be more cakes in the next couple of days, but please enjoy them. And make sure you remind your mi-mi to brush your teeth wokey~ Hohohoho

Photo taken by Anjas Asmara at Qaisara's Birthday party~

p/s: Insyirah laugh watching this.. hope you guys too~ :P

On the note~

2010-02-10T09:25:00.004+10:00

Alhamdulillah.. complete a full draft. If I must describe my state, I would say, 1) rasa nak muntah tengok this komputer, 2) my eyes want more sleep, and 3) my body is lazy to follow any of my cleaning orders.

Hahaha.. really get to get myself back together. As for now, nak tido jap aci? :P

Praise be to Allah~

2010-02-06T00:42:00.005+10:00

In PhD, fabrication of data or falsifying experimental result is a BIG a'a (no). Everyone knows that. Although I know it has become a 'habit' for most of researchers trying to publish their work in a conference would only display the good result of their implementation or methodology *clear throat*. So, that is part of the ethics in conducting research work.

But what about blogging?

I acknowledged there were a few times when my blog material was questioned. I am not quite sure if I've made an open statement about this blog. But if I haven't, here it is. What I have written so far and will be writing, and should it is associated with any event, are/will be based on my experience and my opinion. Hence, on my part... And of course not to mentioned the countless time when my integrity was also under scrutiny. But then of course, I have no right to change any people way of thinking. And what one think of me is no exception. But that's not what I am planning to write.

At some point, I would scratch my head and think, "Hang on.. I am not writing any masterpiece.. So why the fuss?" And it came to me. Maybe, they are hoping to read a more 'real' stories. You see dear, of course I have my bad hours. I didn't say my life is all perfect and filled with colourful rainbows everyday. Yes, I only share the good ones. Just because I've drawn a line on what I should be shared on this blog. Just because I don't want to become an open book. Yes, I would touch every now and then on what's going on around me. But that will never be the major part of this blog.

Speaking of which, if you are a 007 fan, you might remember these words "There's no GOOD news like BAD news". To some extent, I agree with the tagline above. I might be wrong but I think it is a part of human nature. Yup, the competitiveness... if positive competitiveness takper. The negative one is what we should be worry about.

Say, two neighbours, A and B, were talking to one another. And A was telling B that A daughter is very clever at school making the daughter very popular among the school teachers. Then B said, "Baguslah macam tu.". Honestly speaking. With the current mindset, I would bet, that B would have that little notion in B heart that B would also want B children to excel at school which could ended up B having a severe headache. Take again A and B. And now, A was telling B that A clever daughter's application to work at a big company just got rejected. Then B said, "Boleh cuba lain company lagi". But because, A always brag about A daughter's achievement, B might finally have the smirk behind B ears. There's no GOOD news like BAD news kan? LOL

Lucky our teaching teach us to be ikhlas (sincere). Ikhlas dalam ibadah. Ikhlas among friends. Ikhlas in everyday lives. If one is ikhlas, then you would be genuinely happy with others achievements. If one is ikhlas, then there will be no hasad (enviness). There is also one other practice that is promoted among Muslims. That is to praise not in the presence of the others. I couldn't find my notes on this and InsyaAllah would update this entry when I found the excerpts that convey this message. But what it is saying is that, by doing so it could help to avoid evil eyes i.e. envy among Muslims.

Abu Hurairah said that Rasulullah saw said : "Beware of envy, for envy devours good (deeds) like fire devours firewood". - Abu Dawud

Do not envy one another; do not hate one another; do not turn away from another; and do not undercut one another, but be you. O servants of Allah, brothers. - Muslim

But then of course, there are the envy that is allow in Islam,

Narrated Ibn Masud: I heard the Prophet saying, "There is no envy except in two: a person whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it in the right way, and a person whom Allah has given wisdom (i.e. religious knowledge) and he gives his decisions accordingly and teaches it to the others."

Having said all this, to those who have shared with me their thoughts on my blog, don't you worry. I am not saying that you are envy towards me. And I want to highlight it here yes I am a normal human being living and ups-and-downs life. Just putting the 'envy' part in this entry since it has strong relation to the discuss matter. Thank you for reading my blog and your critical view is always welcome :D.

Quick post - Updated

2010-02-04T15:52:00.008+10:00

Update: Say NO TO BLOCKED NOSE

It seems that I might be having cold after all. My nose has become stuffy every now and then. In case you haven't found yourself a technique to fight blocked nose, I thought of sharing my method which I found during my long series of cold. So that you could all have a peaceful sleep at night and could focus more on other things rather than just becoming all tense up because your nose is blocked (hohoho.. I tend to be the green hulk especially when both nostrils are stuffed!! :P) .

The concept is the same like having a humidifier. So if you have a humidifier, you could use them. But if you do have one BUT your partner or someone else in the house would get uncomfortable breathing hot air, then I guess you might want to try this.

All you have to do is, find yourself a cotton cloth (which I would strongly suggest the baby's cloth napkin) that is long enough to be tied around your head and wide enough to cover from your nose down to mouth. Yup, tie yourself like those bandits in old cowboy show or like a ninja or.. like the women in the Arabian night you say.. aaa Correctx3... Then, rub some vicks on the cloth around the nose area. Try to breath normally using the other nose. But if both nostrils are blocked, just breath with your mouth. In a short while, insyaAllah your nose will be FREEEEEE~ hehehe.

The only downside that I could think of is the unseemly fashion should you wear it outside your crib! :P

Tapi if tak jadi for any of you, then I guess you have to find another way that suits you. :(

Okay people, back to work. Meeting coming up today! :)

*************

2nd Feb 2010

Adeh... since yesterday I am having this sore throat. Adeh~~ and the pain is coming to my ear now. Adeh~~~ Time sakit2 baru nak start beringat. I mean, masa time makan ice-cream, i ate as if I haven't been eaten for days. If ingat nak gosok gigi takper. I am not a doctor but I think this ice-cream eating plus tak gosok gigi is what's the cause to this sore throat. Adeh~

For those who might been thinking whether I remember to change Insyirah's nappy or to bath her or to make sure she's eating okay without Ummi around, hmm.. Boleh laa.. Insyirah is doing alright laa despite lacking attention from both her mother and father. Sigh~ Tak tipu, just a second ago, I've stopped typing because Insyirah asked for her 'bottle'.

All in all, we are coping laa. Thank you all for asking. ;)

p/s: will put more interesting entry soon. Ada dateline ni~ hehehe

On the note~ My Alt+Tab

2010-01-28T20:12:00.003+10:00

I was doing some writing and at the same time trying to keep up with the latest score between Murray and Cilic... and of course now there's blogger.com. Talking about multi-tasking :P..

I've told myself not to watch any tennis.. not until the final men's and women's single which is on this weekend. But as I watched the highlights on the news, I surrendered to the temptation. Adeh~ And I have deadline on the 5th and there's so much still need to be done. :P

Ooppss.. got to go.. need to check the score and MORE IMPORTANTLY amelia wong azman, is to complete my paper. :P

Only He knows...

2010-01-25T23:42:00.018+10:00

It is part of being a Muslim to accept the fact that the original teaching of Christian came from the one and only God. Yes, when I say God here, I am referring to Allah swt. The one true God that we Muslims prostrate to five times a day. It was brought down in the book of Injil with Prophet Isa a.s. to lead the people of Israel.

What I am about to say is purely based on my opinion. You see, when I heard that the Catholic church is filing a court ruling to enable them to coin the term 'Allah' in their magazines, my first impression was - "they got to be kidding me". To me, it comes as another attempt to mislead our Muslim brothers and sisters yet again. Mana taknyer. I wouldn't mind at all if they are going to use the word 'Allah' in this way say for example, "there is only one God and He is Allah the creator of the earth and heaven". Hands down to that. But my only concern is when the word Allah is going to be used to describe their concept of trinity. Yes, my only problem is that I am afraid that more Muslim brothers and sisters will get confused. Only Allah and those people knew what they are up to. Whatever the agenda behind it, there is one thing I know for sure. There is a famous verse in the Quran,

And (the unbelievers) plotted and planned, and Allah too planned, and the best of planners is Allah. Quran 3:54

With what has been reported on the news, I would say, they might have got more than what they have bargained for. Muslims in Malaysia fighting one another. Rifts getting bigger.. blaming one another. Sedey sangat~ One might also think that what I've written here as an action to even stir things up. But you see, one of my oldest childhood friend is a Christian and she has always been kind and friendly towards me. The kind of friend everyone would want to have. Surely I don't want to spoil the friendship we have had. The truth is, I am just hoping to send a message out there especially to those who berkerut when reading the newspaper...

At first I too see this as an act to stir the Muslims community which majority are Malays in Malaysia. Dah laa tak cukup with all the division we Malays had politically. The evidence are clear from the newspaper, blogs and etc. But then I realised, just maybe.. maybe who knows it might be the stepping stone to unite the Malays and build a stronger Malaysia for all Malaysian.(hehe.. looking at the glass half full laa ni) . It might also be the time to show that Islam langsung tak menindas other religions and we could all live in harmony hand-in-hand. And to show that Islam is the true religion. Kalau tidak pun, at least we pray and hope for the best for Malaysia.

It always gives me the goose bumps when I heard stories on how one converted to Islam. I mean look at it this way. They have been brought up to believe that their religion is the truth. It's like you were raised to eat fruits and one day a guy came to you and told you that you should be eating rice and meat and vegetables. And so, to these people, they might think that eating fruits is the correct eating habit. They have live for generations and fruits has thought to be sufficient for them. They might even come back to tell the other guy who is eating rice, meat and vegetables that eating fruits is the correct and perfect meal. So we have to understand their position. But that doesn't mean we have to agree with them in the sense that we need to convey to them the truth. We need to convince them just like what they are doing. We need to reach out to these people and the rest is in Allah's hand.

Alhamdulillah, I was born a Muslim and raised as a Muslim who is trying to be the best of Muslim which I think is the toughest examination to score :P. Seriously! Hehe... I pray that Allah will grant His hidayah to my dear friend, my neighbours and of course Daddy's side of the family. To be honest, I haven't had the courage to actually sit and ask them what they really think of Islam. We had the general chat and discussion on tudung, praying, fasting and that was just about it. InsyaAllah one day. May Allah gives me the courage to fulfil my duty as a Muslim. Amiiin...

I leave you guys with this video that really touched my heart of an OZ who find Islam in such a wonderful way..

That's what I call it...

2010-01-22T23:47:00.006+10:00

So "couch potato" is a term referring to a person who loves the tv so much that he or she can't get themselves to move away from the couch that easily. In other words he or she let themselves constraint to their couch or sofa or bean bag or etc. In different words lagi, these are the person who spends too much time in front of the tv laa. Now.. what do you call the person who can't get off from his or her desk chair because he or she is constraint to deadline? "Desk potato".. hmm.. but if we use the 'potato' word it might carry the same frequency as couch potato i.e. to laze around in front of the computer. Hmm... After much deliberation, I have decided to use the opposite word for potato. That would be CARROT.. <-- I tricked Yaby to getting this LOL.

Me: Yaby, Po say one word, Yaby kena bagi the first opposite word yg came to mind tau.

Yaby: *while working on his paper draft* hmm..

Me: Putih

Yaby: Arang

Me: Besar

Yaby: Kecik

Me: Potato

Yaby: Huh? Potato?.. hmm.. Carrot..

So, to all dear research students who has to stuck their face in front of the computer until late hours, although you rather be somewhere else, with the power I have as the author of this blog, I shall call you DESK CARROT!

hehehe... Just another episode of rintihan hati I would say. :P

Anyway, tonight, Mai, one of my close friends here in Brisbane will be going back for good. A girl who I will describe as someone with a big heart and smile. From her daily status, I could only say that she is definitely looking forward to land her feet back in Malaysia. After all she has been here longer than I have. To mai, all the best to you. May more success will come your way.

Can I be your friend? :)

2010-01-20T06:11:00.027+10:00

As I mentioned before, there are just so many things which I learned from the KCB book. Now that Yaby had watched the final part, I could now touch on one which I think worth sharing. It is a plot that is only in the story book but not in the movie. It's about a teenager named Zumrah.

Zumrah was born in a pious and caring family. But due to financial problem, she was sent to live with her uncle. During her time there she was raped a few times by her cousin. She kept it from the knowledge of others. One day, she let her parents knew on her intention to come back but was denied by her parents only because her parents didn't know the calamity that befall her. Because of that, Zumrah had resentment towards her parents and she pledged to do anything to hurt their feelings. She turned to prostitution and when she got pregnant she went back home to break the news to her parents with the motive to hurt their feelings even more. At that point, Zumrah's father had a heart attack and passed away. She regretted and try to come back from all the misery...

Now, I've seen and read it on the news where this thing could happen to anyone. Be it a child molestation to raping an elderly woman. It is an ugly truth. Nauzubillah himinzalik. It is mentioned in the book that Zumrah has no one she could turn to. She was a teenager afraid to let her parents know thinking she might break ties between her parents and her uncle's family. And yes, I've also leant that there were cases where some teenagers who told the truth but was being a victim of sarcasm of their own parents.

In my opinion, this shouldn't happen at all. A family should be a place where you could trust and care for. And as a parent, we should be protecting our children and not the other way round. Listen and find out the truth. It is surprising how much listening could help tie the bond especially between parents and teenagers. Another really important assets in our life is friend. Sometimes, I do believe we have to jaga tepi kain orang. In the sense that, if you think someone is troubled, approach and talk to her. She might not be having a problem but she could always use a good friend to talk to. In the case of Zumrah, her mistakes was not letting her parents knew. She made the assumptions that she would be breaking ties between her families. Most parents would want the best for their children. And most parents usually care. One has to always remember that we are not living alone in this world. A family is always the place you could trust on, insyaAllah. And so if you ever have a problem, talk to someone.

Teenagers is the most delicate stage of age. It's where most define their characters and their principles. Yes people could change with time, but something like character could take years to change. And I believe the main influence of all are the family and friends. Yup, wonder why they say choose your friend wisely? Again from many real life events, we have seen how although was brought up from a good family with strong religion foundation, once they left home for school, everything turned out differently. Adeh~ risau jugak each time I think of this. I knew that I couldn't be around my children 24-7 to let them know which is right and which is wrong. And the thought of how Malaysia is, now, lagi lah memeningkan. I seriously wouldn't have thought Malaysia would have gay marriages. Nauzubillah himinzalik. And some youngster tanpa segan silu told their friends about their one night stand and they are born Muslims. Ya Allah, minta pelihara and dijauhkan from zuriat kami kelak. Truthfully, in my opinion, we could make friends with everyone. We should. But always have at the back of our mind to keep the good one closer. Remember in a hadith:

On the authority of Abu Musa al-Ash'ari (رضي الله عنه ), the Prophet (صلي الله عليه و سلم ) said:

A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace. [sahih al-Bukhari, vol 3, #314 and Muslim]

Later in the book Zumrah asked what she should do. She wants to repent. This is how it was shared in the book. First and foremost, she has to forgive her parents. I found this amusing too at first. But it is true. As explained in the book, the point of doing so is because, in Zumrah's mind, her parents was the cause of her misery and hatred. By truly forgiving, she would not have any more enmity towards her parents and have a new strength to move on. Then, she should realised that there is no sin that is too great to be repented and to be accepted by Allah. For Allah is the most Merciful. And of course, we must always remember that for a taubah or repentance to be accepted, one has to ensure; 1) shunning the sin, 2) regret the sin and 3) firmly abstaining or avoiding the sin.

There is so much that I wish to share out from the book. Senang2, silalah find the book at your local library or even better, secure the book for our own children. Insyirah and future babies, dengar ni. Baca tau. Jangan tak baca. ;)

Aaa.. what again? No no...

2010-01-16T15:30:00.016+10:00

The other day I received a slide show which supposedly listed 45 related lessons in life. On one of the slides it said something like "Agree to disagree". The way I see it, "Agree to disagree" tells the same story as the "No opinion is wrong".

Let me just give a few examples of scenarios and you tell me which can be related to "Agree to disagree".

Scene One:

Student A: I think when I grew up, I want to be a successful sports woman.

Student B: No! That is a bad idea. I wouldn't recommend you doing that.

Scene Two:

Student A: I love to eat an apple out from the fridge. It is so much crunchier.

Student B. No! That's ridiculous. The apple is still crunchy regardless.

What say you. Do you think both can be applied to "Agree to disagree"? What if the answer is said to be only applicable to Scene One.

Now, being myself, I couldn't help to think - why couldn't it be used for Scene Two? So yes, some might say that Scene Two is largely a FACT rather than a subjective point as Scene One. My question would then be, how come one could not take Scene Two as two students giving out their opinion and how they believe an apple is 'crunchier'? Student A statement is totally correct if he or she referring to an apple that has been 3 days old. It will be crunchier compared to an apple that is 3 days old and left under the sun. Students B statement is also true since he or she might be referring to a fresh plucked apple from the orchard.

Do you get what I mean?

Oh wait. What did I just do? I've just given my opinion that I am not agree with the answer. I think "Agree to disagree" can be applied in both situations.

Hmm.. What? It's wrong? Why can't you "Agree to disagree" with my given opinion.

At this point, some might say I am about to start an "arguement".

Again hang on. Why is it an "arguement" and not a healthy "discussion"? Does that mean you do not "agree" with my opinion? But I thought we have to "Agree to disagree"? No opinion is wrong remember... :P

Ahahaha... pening tak?

Okes.. nak kemas rumah. It's Sunday already!!! :(