Friday, July 14, 2017

A blogger (read: My) confession~

When I first decided to set up a blog account on Friendster (which is now obsolete), I've pledged myself not to blog so much so my life would be an open book. Having said that, I would want the blog to somehow connected to me so that I could stay connected with my readers.. which often enough are my friends. 

I realised however, I have not been writing the kind of post I have always intended to for quite sometimes now. You could say that I've lost my touch. But my only reason (read: excuse) would be, I have been doing lesser pondering on things I've observed, read or heard of. 😅 Astagfirullah~

Usually, I would made up some time to 'dwell' onto some subject. The subject matter often enough came when least expected of course! LOL! Just as how any human brain works, my brain crave for more info which most of the time requires me to do some research on the matter. 

And so hear ye.. hear ye.. I confess. I have wasted a lot of time doing other things 😅. I confess that I have dismissed many subject matter that came to me. I am so sorry my-inner-me. I know I could always have the time to compose a post so long as I plan what to write, do extra reading when needed (you need to feed your brain with facts ellyWong) and start writing! Once started, one will always compel to finish what one has started. 

Why confession all of a sudden? Something just hit me which brought guilt to my core. 

Surah Al-Mulk has a lot to say about spending time on observing, pondering and reasoning. In ayah number 19; 
Do they not see the birds above them with wings outspread and [sometimes] folded in? None holds them [aloft] except the Most Merciful. Indeed He is, of all things, Seeing.
In ayah number 10;
And they will say, "If only we had been listening or reasoning, we would not be among the companions of the Blaze."
and in the final ayah;
Say, "Have you considered: if your water was to become sunken [into the earth], then who could bring you flowing water?"
We read this Surah often but I for one, did not make up to what the Surah is trying to convey to us. Adoi~ I hope I have not wasted too much God's given time, good health, strength and rizq for something not useful. May Allah continue to guide us all and to bless us with Hikmah when He thinks we have ponder enough.

Last but not least, thank you to all my silent readers. Yang baik itu datangnya dari Allah. Yang kurang itu dari diri ini sendiri. 😍

Saturday, July 8, 2017

My very own Maryam~

It was at 10:37 pm 21st April when I first felt the contraction sensation. That very Friday, a lot had happened. It started off with Siti's family returning home safely from their holiday in Tokyo in the morning. Then, the whole day we were busy sending back and forth messages making plans since Azam and family were on their way back home to Malaysia - that same night! ..including plan on when baby Maryam best came out 😋. We were all excited.. very-very excited. 

Continuing on where I've left - Although the contraction had been regular, I wasn’t sure to inform my family because there was no spotting. It was only contractions and I was only at 36 weeks. 

When the contraction was 7 minutes apart I informed my family about it. Little did we know that it will be a false contraction.  

By 5 am, the contraction slowly disappear. Was I frustrated? Yes! Hihi..  I have been making Dua that if it was the best for me and the baby to come out anytime soon, then I would gladly accept the fate.

Everything went back to normal routine came the next day until Thursday the 27th April 2017.. 

If anyone would asked me how best would I describe the 27th April, I would say that it MUST be one of the QUALITY-EST 24 hours of my life! 😆

In the morning, we sang Happy Birthday song to Tia while circling her on the bed. Alhamdulillah, she finally turned 3. On the very same day, the University was having its annually Quality Day. I then had early lunch with wonderful colleagues and had a good laughed about whether or not my baby had engaged. Then came lunch hour, I was surprised by my wonderful usrati who brought delicious donuts and chocolate moist cake and colourful balloons! Right after my Zohor prayer, I had arranged final meetings with my supervisees.  Came evening, both Tia and I waited for Ya-yah to fetch us from home before fetching Jia and Bahim at school. We had planned to dine out to celebrate Tia’s birthday. Once home from birthday dinner, me and Yaby decided to watch Hidd3n F1gures.. that was of course after chasing all the kids to bed. 😊    

Just for the record, after the false alarm incidence, I had been experiencing Braxton Hicks the entire week. It was to the extent that I was forced to do some research and investigation on Braxton Hicks. Adeh~ My conclusion from all that readings.. mothers tend to experience false alarm after their 3rd pregnancies. And so, at around 10 pm (plus minus) when I started to experience another series of contractions, I just ignored them. I didn’t really time the contraction because I was too busy watching and~ I thought it was only just another Braxton Hicks. By the time we finished watching the movie, it was already past 11 pm.

While I was getting ready to go to bed, it was then I realised that there was a heavy spotting. I remember clearly the feeling I had that very moment.. it was a mixture of 20% worried plus 80% super excited. I shouted from the bathroom – “Yaby, kali ni confirm!” and smiling in excitement.

I made a call to Klang informing my parents and ask if they could come by to my place to standby because I was pretty sure the baby will be out before Subuh. Daddy agreed to come.

By the time Daddy reached my home, the contraction was still 7 minutes apart. I wanted to stay longer at home but daddy being my daddy, literally instructed (read: ordered) me and Yaby to go to the Hospital at once.. hehehe.. and so we left. Truth must be told, I did ask Yaby if I could eat durian before surrendering myself in which of course he said NO to. I was just trying my luck anyway 😝. (Note: There were durian stalls right in front of the hospital’s parking lot and yes, they were still open after midnight! 💗)

Once in the hospital, they monitor my contraction and told me that I was 3cm dilated.  They then showed us the way to my ward instead of the labour room. I couldn’t recall how many times for sure I had requested for someone/anyone to break my water bag.. just so I could be on active labour and insyaAllah the baby would be out much sooner. As you may have guessed, none of them was considering that as an option – including Yaby. And so, I had to force myself to fall asleep. 😷

But of course, I wasn’t at all in my normal sleeping pattern. Between 1 am and 4:30 am, a few times I was awaken just because I was simply not in the mood of sleeping (can’t wait to meet the baby ma~), twice because I need to ‘go’ and once because of Yaby’s alarm. The alarm went off to wake him up for the Man U versus Manchester City game. Hihi.. and I must say that I had never been happier to see him wide awake for the sake of watching a football match before. LOL! 😂

At around 4:30 am, after my second trip to the toilet, I told Yaby about the unusual discharge I was having. I saw too much blood clotting. Yaby called for the nurse and after a quick inspection she said I was now at 6cm. She finally said that she would call the doctor. Yeay!

At 5 am, Yaby and I were escorted to the labour room. 6 minutes later, the doctor came in and made a quick check on my dilation. I heard she said, “tapi kepala ni jauh lagi”. I quickly jumped in to tell the Doctor again about my water bag experience. Alhamdulillah she took my word for it and prepared for the procedure.

It was exactly 14 minutes past 5 when I started to have the urge to push. The Doctor wasn’t around though. I told Yaby that I really feel like pushing. A nurse came in and when I told her about it she responded saying, "kenapa tak beritahu awal-awal". Well, I have thought the doctor went out to get ready. 😅

Several minutes later, she came in with the Doctor and it all began. It was at that moment too, the Doctor asked me if I had consumed virgin coconut oil or air selusuh (which I don’t have a clue about it). It was the second time I was asked that very same question. The first occur during the early monitoring of my contraction. It sure left me wondering why. If it wasn’t because I was on the verge of pushing baby Maryam out into the world, I would have asked my Doctor why they need to know.

Fast forward skipping the part when I felt super thirsty as well as when I refused to hold the bed handle bar instead of Yaby's plush hand (kesian tangan Yaby sakit.. 😋I love you Yaby), after two long pushes.. I heard the cry I had been so much looking forward too! She was the loudest among the four. Hihi.. Alhamdulillah baby Maryam weighing at 3kg safely found her way out to meet me and her Ya-yah at 5:46am.. three minutes short from Subuh prayer on 1st Syaaban 1438, 28th April 2017. We thought she might share the same birth date as Tia. Indeed, Allah knows best! 


My Beautiful Maryam

AllahuAkbar.. AllahuAkbar.. AllahuAkbar.

Thank you everyone who made prayer for me and the baby. Thank you to all who came to visit me and Maryam and for all the great gifts! (Terasa nak jadi baby sebab boleh dapat gold chain for free~ hehehe) Thank you to our parents who have been supporting us mentally on top of others. To Daddy, thank you for equipping our fridge with fresh ingredients for me to cook during my confinement for the third time ever since I had Bahim. Thank you so much for your care and concern Daddy! I know I can never repay you and Ummi for everything you both have done for me and my family.

May Maryam bt Yasir grew up to be beautiful inside out and bring coolness to my eyes. Aameen 😍



    

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Quick Post~ Manisnya Berusrah~

Today is the 13th of Ramadan.. but.. it's only my second day of fasting. Hihi.. 

I know Ramadan is not the best time to waste time on writing a blog post or watching or playing etc. It is the month where we should embrace our Quran more. That's why I promise that I would not spend more than 20 minutes on this entry. The 'urge' that I had before starting this entry was just too overwhelming that I have to pour this out to stop my brain from messing my day. LOL!

Things are a little different for me this year. With packed scheduled right before my maternity leaves, I have missed Circles and Hadith classes. And this is the first Ramadan ever since coming back from Australia that I have missed Tadarus with great Beautiful Muslimah of KoE. The feeling - sangat-sangat rindu.

You might said that the extrovert side of me must have made me felt that way.. that it drains me out not being able to be energised from having meeting people. You might be right. But there are other elements and reasons for just having all those things.. which I find it difficult to describe here in writing.. 

I have met people who have the notion that there is little reasons to go to usrah or to be in classes when we can get all of it online i.e. lectures on youtube etc. Let me tell you this - it is very much different. You have to be part of 'one' to understand. :-)

I hope this entry calms my heart. Nanti kita cari geng usrah ye~ Hihihi. 

Saturday, April 29, 2017

T is for Tia@3!

Happy birthday my dearest Fatihah! Mi-mi’s and Ya-yah’s forever-happy-cheeky-clever-and-energetic 3 year old solehah girl. We love you so much! May Allah continue to bless and guide you Tia!!

Truth must be told.. I didn’t manage to post up this birthday shout out entry on your birthday. Not that because I love you a little less.. but because you and your siblings were as excited as I was waiting for your little baby sister! We have thought the baby would share the same birthday as you. Turned out she wants to wait 5 hours 47 minute little longer. Hihihi

Now.. how was you over the past one year..

At your childcare, your teacher described you as a very friendly and playful little girl. You would easily make friends and play with everyone in your room. Your teacher also told Mi-mi that you like to lead during activities. I guess that's the reason why you had to join the 3 year old class when you just barely past your second birthday. Alhamdulillah, you are coping well at ‘school’ and I knew you can handle anything. Hihi...

Back at home, you were less likely left to be in charge. Hihi.. Cheche and Koko would just not let you. Adoi lawak. Because of that, you love to stir the other two whenever you can. Usually, you would later come back at me and said, “Mi-mi.. Cheche don’t want to play with me” or “Mi-mi.. Koko don’t want to share his toys with me” or “Mi-mi, they don’t want to open the door”. Ololololo.. kesian pun ada

I knew, they are not to be blamed 100%. 

Tia, 

Please know that Cheche and Koko played differently these days. They made stories with their toys. So how they positioned their toys and what to do next is not the same as how you wanted them toys to be. Because your Cheche and Koko love you, they did try to put up with you by giving you other toys and setting up the toys. But that didn’t work since you really really really want to join them. I hope, the four of you will always love and cherished one another no what came between the four of you. Muahx!

To best end this entry, I would put here the usual funny conversation I had with you in the car..

M: Can I eat you?
T: Noooo~
M: Can I eat Cheche?
T: Yessss~
M: Can I eat Koko?
T: Yessss~
M: Haaaa~~ you love Cheche or not?
T: Yesssssss
M: Do you love Koko or not?
T: Yesssssss
M: If you let me eat Cheche and Koko, than there will be no more Cheche and Koko.

You would usually ended up laughing. Hihihi..

Happy birthday again Tia! Mi-mi, Ya-yah, Cheche and Koko love you so much!!! Stay happy! Muahx!

p/s: You are still a hair-puller up to this date~ :-p



Friday, April 21, 2017

Quick Post~

I am not a poet; I am not a writer,
I am just a wife and a mother,
Yet here I am squeezing my brain,
Thinking about something to write which I don't know how to begin.

Should it be about family?
Should it be about love?
Should it be about respect?
Or should it be about all of the above?

Words don't come easy for me -
Urghh how do I explain,
That without communication, a relationship will be in vain?
Be it husband and wife; be it parents and children connection,
Be it brother and sister; be it all the other relation.

Someone told me you must listen to understand - not listen to reply,
Though I don't understand it thoroughly,
I figured it meant - you must give your full attention,
And not just your emotion,
When having a conversation.

Correct me if I am wrong, because I myself am still learning,
Learning about understanding human being,
Which is such a difficult task,
That I pray I will somehow pass.

-AWA- 

p/s: It's another AWA in ma family~ 

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Turning the 9 leaf~

It's your birthday again Jia! Happy Birthday my big girl solehah! May Allah bless you even more Jia!!! Muahx!

Another year has passed. So many new things you've explored and you've done them all mostly with Bahim. Of course with a little help from Tia. Hihihi...

As I am typing this, we are watching "Stork". When I said to all of you - "you do know babies don't come out from a baby machine, don't you?". Immediately like a twin both of you and Bahim said "yes we know". You then continue saying, "babies are from Heaven, then Allah put a baby in your tummy". :-)

After another year has passed, I see that you began to have your mind on most things i.e. you would do or choose things that you prefer. Yup.. I cannot dictate you anymore. LOL! Speaking of 'LOL', you have developed a habit of using that acronym in your daily conversation. Adeh~ I guess I am part to be blame since I used them quite a lot in my text (which you love to read.. yes Jia.. you stalk my conversation thread!).

How is you with Bahim you asked me? Well, easy. You both are very tight to the extent that you and Bahim leave little space for Tia. Hihi.. kesian Tia. I understand that she's a little too small to understand that the lego minecraft is very fragile and that she would easily break them into pieces again (which took you and Bahim as well as Ya-yah hours to build all of them. Hehe..). Having said that, it would not be fair if I didn't mention it here that there were times you would give in and spent your quality time with Tia too. ;-)

Ever since Bahim started standard one, you have helped him with his school bag. There was one morning Jia.. I was watching you and Bahim from my room. You would speak slowly to Bahim persuading him into wanting to learn how to arrange his own books. I smiled watching the whole scene because I knew given the very little (read: desperate) time every morning, I could easily snap if Bahim continue with his sulking behaviour for a little too long. Hehehe.. But you put up to him.. and Bahim listened to you in the end. May Allah continue to bless you Jia. Amiin ya Allah. 

Alhamdulillah you are among the selected few to take up the responsibility you have always wanted ever since that little incident occur. Remember that we only knew about it on the first day of school? Hihi.. When I asked how was your day with the responsibility, you told me that although you were tired since you have to look after the standard one, you enjoyed it. Among  all the mamas, I am the only one who was never selected to become one. LOL!~ All the best in taking up the amanah Jia!

Mi-mi hope you realised one important lesson Jia.. that is for as long as you have your mind to anything (having a target), without realising, your body will work for and towards it. So if you said you want to become a better person, than insyaAllah, Allah will help you to become a better person. So Jia, have more good intentions at heart and insyaAllah, Allah will help you to secure them all. ;-)

I love you Jia.. thank you for always becoming my little handy-helper and my care buddy at home. Hihi.. May Allah continue to guide you Jia. Amiin ya Allah.  






Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Bahim @bigboyschool

Dear Bahim,

I just reached my office after sending you off to your new school.. your first day at the big boy school.

When we had to go to cheche's school to fetch her home from school, you have always roamed the school area. Starting today, you get to actually be there. :-)

Mi-mi pray that you will forever enjoy your school with your cheche, new friends and new teachers. Make friends and explore the new environment Bahim.

All the best to you.
Mi-mi loves you.