Last Friday I was in a bad shape and had to stay in. But the good thing was, I had a chance to finally watch the Oprah Winfrey farewell final episode.
I remember watching Oprah as a kid. Like many, I found most of her show very interesting and have always been looking forward to the next week's episode.
One of her final remarks that comes to me as a clear shot straight to the bull's eye was when she said something about 'validation'. She said that in all of her shows, there is one thing in common that is - we all wanted validation. Quoting her, "...They want to know, do you hear me? Do you see me? Does what I say mean anything to you?..."
I first realised this back then when I had a chat with my elder sister when I was abroad. As usual, family chat could go from one end to another and so I couldn't realy recall how we came out with the point. My dear sister, one very observant sister, said that she realised that I had always been doing something to prove something to my dad. She then start with all the "do you remember when.." until she thought she had said enough to make her point loud and clear. I guess, I must have amplified my sense of 'in need of validation' without realising it. :p
You see, at the age of eight we moved to Klang. But Daddy wasn't always around since he was still working in Pahang. And so I only saw him during weekends or long holidays. Probably, I had been trying to achieve many things just to stand out in his eyes. Probably I have been craving for Daddy's validation. Not that Daddy is a wicked dad like in some movies who couldn't care less. I guess Daddy is just being a man originally from Mars.. doing a guy thing i.e. sitting in their own cave and don't really know how to show they care. Now that I am married, I realised that without a doubt Yaby's validation is what I want most. Obviously laa kan... Please la Yaby ye, master the art of validating ye... HohohHOhoHOHOho...
It is just so true isn't it. To some degree, we all just wanted to be heard. To be cherished. To know that we are a valid friend. To be told that we have made up someone else's day. To have someone care enough to ask how we are doing with life and etc. Watching Ibrahim pushing himself forward faster when his named was called as well as seeing Insyirah drew even more upon receiving some pep talk from her Ya-yah proves that we have if not ARE doing it all the time.
Now, assuming you have received validation each and everyday from your spouse, your parents, your kids, your friends, you neighbours, your students.. would that be enough? Hmm.. Hehe... it meant to be a tricky question. Now, imagine getting a validation from your Creator... knowing that your solat is accepted.. knowing that you are going to be with Him in Paradise... KAN?!!! How great is that?! Hmmm... When it comes to this, we can only try our best and pray that with His blessing would could all secure Jannah insyaallah.
In our teaching, one of the many important hadiths is on Nawaitu i.e. intention. It is said that, everything you do comes back to your intention. We must always have a clear intention for one will receive what one has intended for. I hope that my Niat of having this blog has not been tainted. I must say thank you to YOU (you know who you are :D) for giving me your validation on this blog. I want you to know that I am very happy to know that you care to read and listen to what I want to share. I must say though, that all that is good is from Him and yang merapu itu are from my weaknesses. I know I can never match Oprah :P.. but with His help I'll continue to write.. insyaAllah...