Wednesday, March 23, 2011

My Amanah~

It has been a while now since Insyirah and Ibrahim are enrolled at the childcare center not too far from where I'm working. It was also not long before someone pointed out an interesting question to me on the whole issue of sending them 'away' while I am at work. The question was, "is it the best choice?". Not that I have a choice.. or was there?

Upon hearing the question, it struck me. Have I been a victim of the man-made system?

You see, most of us went down the same path. First we went to school then to college. Straight after, went to Uni to obtain the first degree.What came next? The only obvious answer is, we find ourselves a job. One could say that getting a job IS the only fair choice.  After all, one has gone through a whole lot just to get a scroll of paper that endorsed oneself so that one could take that piece of paper to let others know that one has attained a certain level of knowledge.

I can't deny the fact that getting my first pay is one of the best moments in my life. Simply because of the thought that I could finally chip in for my family monthly expenses. I felt somewhat useful too now that I can give Ummi and Daddy something in return for all their trouble taking care and bringing me up.

Then I got married. 

But you see, because I have chosen the norm path, at some point, my career needs me to take up further studies. The way the system goes is, 'they' will pay for my tuition fees and etc.. but in return, I am contracted for some period of time working for them. Again, I thought it is a fair point since my career involve me knowing a little more than just what I have got from my first degree.

Things wasn't that hard at first. I only have Yaby to take care of. Although I know that at some point during my PhD years, I had left the laundry to later as well as cooked the not so tasty kind of food.. but things was OK. Kan Yaby? :-p

Then, things get more exciting - I have Insyirah. I have to juggle between life as a wife, a mother, a student and a daughter. There have been times, not once, not twice.. but more when I felt kesian nya laa haii kat Insyirah. She had to play on her own. Talking to the tele or her teddies.. It became more often especially by the end of my final year. How many times have I asked her to forgive me for not playing with her. :(

By September last year, I have Ibrahim to add to my little crowd. And at the same time, my years of serving the contract has begun too. Like they say, this is now an Amanah that I must fulfilled. I have no other choice but to send them at the nursery since there is no way I could bring them to the office without having a 'little' noise. HohohOHohoho...

Now............. a question that came to me in a flash is, my children are Amanah from Allah too. So, is by sending them in the care of someone else while I am fulfilling my obligation to the rakyat the best way to fulfill my obligation taking care of the kids?

Susah kan... To be honest, I really don't know the answer to the question. 

I don't want to be lost in the busyness of this life only to lose something more great for the afterlife. I pray for Allah to guide us all in our everyday lives. Amin Ya Rabb...


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Quick post!

I've just moved in to a new place. With no internet access, it means that my life in the virtual world will be limited. Kesian blog ni dah lama tak di update. Will definitely post up exciting stories about the move on top of others when everything is done. :D