Friday, July 30, 2010

Blood is thicker than water~

You might have encountered this yourself. 

One day you were talking to a total stranger or someone you just met only to find that some of the words that came from him or her sounded like a plausible answer to your search problem.. or perhaps became a speech of advice.. or simply makes you thinking. So many times this has happened to me. The latest I had was last weekend at a Birthday party. 

I always think that my family is different from others. We have our own way to say "I care" and "I don't care". We shared secret 'body'-language that pretty much is useful when it comes to compromising when others were around and we didn't want them to know. And we called names to each other (I am 'gemok' with the 'o') and the list could continue on and on.

Growing up, there were many times when disagreement came between us. If they say Clash of the Titan defines the biggest type of 'clash'-es, then I would say ours were ahead of that. :P There were disputes on simple ideas, on how things should be done and not to be done, what to play, who will be the bad 'guy', which flavour to buy, how one should dress and etc... and as soon as the animosity increases, what came next would be a scene in a movie that I never like. hohohohohoho :P

The other day, I had chatted with Ummi through YM. I know I have asked her before. But somehow I just hope that she would give me a different answer. So I ask, "why is it that we siblings are so different from one another?". Let's face it. I am becoming a mom of two. And insyaAllah for more to come. So I guess, it's about time that I equipped myself with solutions for conflicts that may arise between my kids. hohoho..  No matter how much I hope that she would give a different answer, she stands on her ground. Ummi answered me telling that there's the beauty and at the same time, as Ummi has put it, "ujian" for parents. I couldn't delay my doa upon hearing that. Hoping that Allah would help me in becoming a good and responsible parent myself.

Anyway, back to my conversation with my friend. And so she mentioned, "now that I am here (i.e. Brisbane), my brother would call me and tell me how much he misses me." 
"Is he older or younger than you?", I asked
"He's my younger brother. You know, we used to fight all the time."
Immediately at that point, it all came to me. Me and siblings were in the same boat. But soon after one by one has to leave home, it all started to change. I mean maybe it is true that 'distance makes your heart grew fonder'. 

Since then, we have less 'strong' and 'silly' arguement. It could be the reason that it is simply because we met less hence do not want to waste the precious time on feud or.. it could be the reason that we are all grown up now. And when I come to think of it, if it's the latter, then I realised one other important thing, "can I win the race in chasing more good times that I'd lost?". 

True, there were times when I felt that we could all be more lovey-duvey type, sharing our deepest and darkest secrets hehe.. BUT I also know that what we are today, are defines from what we experience as a child growing up. And if anyone ask, I would say that I am happy of who I am today :P. Although I would pray that I would continue to become a whole lot better person in the future laa kan ;). Hence, I would not want to trade any of my childhood with any Rumpelstiltskin for a world. And so I pray.. for that what ever time frame left for us siblings, and of course for yours too, will be of good times. InsyaAllah amiiinn ya Rabb. 

Speaking of which, insyaAllah this year, 1431/2010, will be the first in sooooooo many years that all of us siblings will be able to gather at once!!! Alhamdulillah~

Friday, July 23, 2010

Quick post

Promise you that this going to be very quick. ;P

So, I saw this one statement "Berkhidmat Untuk Negara Kerana Allah".

First thing in mind- Alhamdulillah! Superb line.

Second that came crossing - Hmmm... if only it is true to many.

I am not saying that the one who had his name signed underneath the tag is somewhat bad. No. That is not what I am suggesting. I was actually just thinking that just maybe this is a template for most official paper work. Which then led me to my second statement.

Who would not want to see anything "Kerana Allah". Just because if it's "Kerana Allah" then there must be the sense of sincerity and surely it will be an 'amiss'-free. *clear throat*

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


To dream big or to dream  realistically.. that's the question I have had in mind since my last conversation with my dear sister.

At one point of our conversation, I pointed out that just maybe we should all have a list of dreams that we 'want' or should I say 'hope' to achieve. I know I have one but the weigh of that dream is so enormous that I can't be 100% sure that I could one day fulfil it.

After we stopped the conversation, little did I know that it comes to linger me. I can hear the sound of the idea every now and then until it makes we wonder if there's something wrong to 'dream big'. Should I have just stick to 'dream realistically' instead.

What actually made me to start writing about this 'now' i.e. in the midst of everything was actually the effect after reading one entry on a blog. It was posted on one of my friend's status. And just a few hours ago, the blog's author passed away after battling with cancer. Reading her last entry was the second of its kind. The first was a friend of mine who passed away in a car accident. I pray for Allah to bless these two souls.

How is it related to this post? For some reason, I think I was reminded that the 'end' is so near and hence led to the other question, "would I be able to achieve it?".

I could understand when people say to 'dream realistically' just to avoid having dreams that cannot be realised to avoid being too upset. On the other side of the leaf, which I am in, I could also understand that the reason of having 'big dreams' are for us to continue to drive ourselves and pushing our limits.

In one of her sentence, she said 
"All I have (is) hope. Hope that becomes a prayer. A prayer that Allah cures all pains and fever. I am still thankful, even in this difficulties my hope and my prayers didn't get washed away."
That was the line that actually strikes me. I have always seen 'hope' strongly related to 'dream' since at times, I always telling myself how I would hope that I could achieved my dreams one day. 

In her last entry, she mentioned on her preparation to perform Umrah. To me, in her case, this is a 'realistic dream' which has step forward to become a 'big dream'. She had hoped and dreamt for the day when she would perform  the umrah hand-in-hand with her beloved husband to come. A dream that every muslim yearn to follow. In another blog, it is informed that she managed to perform the Umrah with her husband. Alhamdulillah..

My conclusions, I would say, go ahead. Dream big. Dream big and work for it. Even when you think it is difficult to achieve it. InsyaAllah, just by having the 'dream' you will improve yourself. For some people, it will help you to move on with life. One thing I got after reading her entry, it is never too late to 'dream'.


Butterfly fly away - Miley Cyrus

You tuck me in,
Turn out the light
Kept me safe and sound at night
Little girls depend on things like that
Brushed my teeth and combed my hair
Had to drive me everywhere
You were always there when I looked back
You had to do it all alone
Make a living, make a home
Must have been as hard as it could be
And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scared things wouldn't turn out right
You would hold my hand and sing to me
Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry hold on tight.
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly Fly Away
Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away)
Flap your wing now you can't stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true
Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away)
We been waiting for this day
All along and know just what to do
Butterfly Fly Away

Friday, July 16, 2010

My quick rant~

aiyo~~ naik kah~ nak raya mesti naik wan people say. so betul la. aiya~ this time all five aaa. aiyooo~ so meaning aaa, angpau for raya this year aaa.. blue kaler can or not? aijooo~ ma fan!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Supposedly stressed out~

We heard a lot about stress. For example, some people were discussing on what causing the stress. They come out with a list from bad working environment to money problem to heavy work load to unhappy or bad family relationship and etc. Then there's of course, they speak of the effects of stress. To name a few, they claim it can make one sick, crazy or worse, it can also kill. The talk about stress didn't end there obviously. Another group of people then come out with solutions or remedies to solve the stress related issues like for example, eating chocolate or talk to someone and seek attention from professional (which I am not convinced at all) and the list goes on and on.

My current state - I am seriously in stress mode. With packings, paper work and ultimately submitting this thesis. What I realised though, unlike how I used to be when I am under stress, I am feeling a little too realx and  composed. To be honest, I am quite shocked to find myself not panicking. 

Just a while ago, I baked cookies for my dear Insyirah. It all started when she couldn't get hold off some of her friend's chocolate chips cookies. I told her, "mi-mi will bake for you Okay" and I did while she was having her afternoon nap. Yup. As if I was not busy. *sambil geleng kepala*

Anyway, I see this 'weird' pattern overcoming me since... since I lost my 'bad air problem'. I have been experimenting and cooking foods that I have never or would be the last in my list to be attempted  like laksam and  nasi kerabu. No wonder I have been gaining weight extra fast this pregnancy :P. And now that I think of it, this time memang totally different from my previous (although I have a notion that this might be a girl too :D).  I got wind, I don't like even the smell of the chicken not until recently, I totally have no drive to do any shopping, I can blog which was a problem with me having Insyirah :P and I am somewhat 'bigger'. Hohohoho...

Going back to the stress issue, whether this is a good sign of 'under stress' or not, I have only one thing in mind that is still 'to get out of this stress-causing-situation soon!'. I just can't wait to get my feet back in Malaysia although I have that 'alarm' feelings at the back of my mind. Sebab dengar kata Malaysia panas gilerr skang sampai ketiak basah. HOhohOHOhohoho... Luckily there are more positive than the negative effects of the scorching temperature like enjoying ramadhan in Malaysia and especially having the family around.... best giler!

I am not trying to give a direct solution to stress but my personal advice in combating stress would be, 1) try to calm yourself. Whether you choose to solat sunat or sleep or eat or calling your spouse or your parents or jumping in a river and scream while splashing the water around you (I've seen this act in a movie :P), you just have to let it out. Because there's no point trying to force your way through when you have something in mind. Which ever way it is, then 2) the next thing is you need to pull yourself together and convinced yourself that you could overcome the cause of the stress and would not let the stress gets the better of you. You should always have this in mind, that "there is no problem without a solution". If your colleague is giving you a hard time, let him or her know. Sometimes, they might have not realised that their act is sooooooo annoying and could stress you out. I've watched on the tv a few days ago on how a prank of another friend who continuously throwing pieces of paper cause the other guy to go berserk which later throw a few punches on the friend. Ouch! Then there was another scene where a man who must have been had a hard day started to smash the printer using a monitor. Uuuuu~ scary kan. Stress is never a good thing indeed.

One thing for sure, no matter how hard we try, there will be the time which left us in stress. Tak boleh avoid punya. But always have in mind and yakin that Allah knows that you are able to overcome it as long as you put your trust in Him. And I was told that if you are a woman, stress is the main cause of those wrinkle lines you see. You don't want them do you? :P hoHohohOho... so cepat2 laa let go off the stress. Good luck everyone. ;) And yes Amelia, silalah submit your thesis yer :) huhuhu~

Monday, July 5, 2010

Tying the knot~

The last time I was waiting for a meeting with my supervisor, I found myself waiting at the pantry. hehehe.. why? For some reasons, the school has taken our room and decided to move us to a room packed with 9 another people. At first first I don't mind at all after getting the email about the move since I am going to finish after all. Then came last Thurdays, I saw my stuff shoved in a box and put on a table where there's no power plug or network connections, no chairs.. and Yaby computer mouse and keyboard were no where to be seen too. Kena cilok laa ni. Anyway, since the meeting was delayed, I found myself wondering through and fro with Insyirah tail gating me. That was when I began to rasa sakit hati and found myself sitting at the pantry.

And there at the pantry with least academic material but abundance of published material on fashion, gossips and stories i.e. the magazines, I found myself going through one. Can't remember what the title of the magazine is. But I do remember one article that I had read. It was on finding true meaning of marriages. There were stories of three interesting wives telling their part on what they described as their perfect marriages. I can see why they are proud of themselves since it is not that often that these mat salleh have able to secure a happy 15+ years of marriages. I managed to read only two since I had to check 'manually' on whether my supervisor had already waiting for me. They are quite funny and at one point I have to double check if my chuckle was too loud to stir the quite office environment.

One statement that I think is very-very true if you want to have a happy marriage of your own is "never ever-ever compare yours with others". Let's faced it. It is normal if you think that "the garden is greener on the other side" because like I used to tell people, the syaitan never like happy marriages. So they will tend to whisper ideas in one's head to invoke the feelings of dissatisfied. To think that the wife or the husband was being unfair, uncaring and etc. And so I would say that it's normal if every now and then for everyone to think that way simply because it isn't your fault. It's some red-devil doing. But then again, we are left with choices. Whether to follow suits the evil plot or simply brushed it off behind your ears. I've read sometimes ago about how he/she suggested that we should think of the less fortunate should any of these bad ideas come along. And how much we have to always be thankful. And for husbands and wives to tolerate and be considerate. And of course to listen and communicate to one another.

Both husband and wife have a great responsibility on their shoulders. We should be reminded always that there are more to marriages than 'that'. Like bringing up your kids and educate them so that the future has generations that can continue to carry these responsibility too. 

One taboo question in marriages has always been 'divorce'. You see, again because of a decision made by the husband or wife, the whole family institution will be affected especially the children. Adeh~ Sedih when comes to think of it. I've seen myself the negative effects on these children. I can't argue that there were time when divorce is the only solution, but in many cases, I know it happened because one or both parties are selfish. They only think of their happiness without considering their children. Nauzubillah hi min zalik. 

Marriage is sacred. It is not as simple as tying a knot using some ropes like we used to learn in the girl guide. We should all remember that. :)

Friday, July 2, 2010


Can't believe it is July.. it was so long since my last post. And if I am not mistaken, I saw a couple of spiders who were about to put up some of their silk webs on my webpage. :P

I've listened to one Arabic nasyeed from mimi's blog. The title is Ya Rabb. I couldn't really tell what the whole nasyeed is all about but I can promise you two things. It makes you feel 1) all sayu and 2) how you will feel admiration to the Arabic language.

I never had the opportunity to really sit, listened and learned the Arabic language. Yes, I am planning to do so soon insyaAllah once I got back since I've heard that the Uni have prepared some Arabic classes for staff. Obviously, not knowing the Arabic is a total drawback for myself. Not only do I have to learned by heart some of the key words in the translations in order to get the khusyuk that is sooooo difficult to come by during solat and which I could tell you that unfortunately I haven't covered that many surahs, I also lose the many beautiful meaning behind the Arabic verse since I am only reading the English translations. In many cases, the translator has added longer descriptions to present the meaning of the Arabic words. But still, the learned Arabic would say that some meaning will still be lost in the translation. sigh~~

The other day, Yaby was listening to Br Nouman Ali Khan. At first, I was listening from afar while doing my work. In just a short period of time, I found myself listening attentively to this Br Nouman's lecture. I love his style of presentation. It really is captivating. I was about to search for his extended bibliography to be shared here when I found this other lecture. He explained the need to learn and understand the Arabic language. Yes, I have to stall my entry to listen to this lecture since it is so related to what I was about to write. At the same time, I was making notes as well as grabbing my tafsir.. and here I am again 51+1 minutes (1 minute that is after from my search up to this point :P) after listening to why he thinks we Muslims should be studying Arabic and how. My say about this talk, "Ya Allah, please don't group me among the cursed ones" -- which he explained in the talk.

The talk started off by mentioning that the Quran is the Speech of Allah and it is in Arabic and which has been mentioned 11 times in the Quran. In the middle of the talk, he shared the story of Abul Walid, a debater and political negotiator of the Quraish who's heart tremble with fear after listening to Surah Fussilat (41:1-41). A non-believer but a man who understand the language of the Quran. After some browsing, I found the whole hadith here:
According to authentic Traditions, it was sent down after the affirmation of the Faith by Hadrat Hamzah and before the affirmation of the Faith by Hadrat Umar. Muhammad bin Ishaq, the earliest biographer of the Holy Prophet, has related on the authority of Muhammad bin Ka'b al-Qurzi, the famous follower of the Companions, that one day some of the Quraish chiefs were sitting in their assembly in the Masjid al-Haram, while in another corner of the Mosque there was the Holy Prophet sitting by himself. This was the time when Hadrat Hamzah had already embraced Islam and the people of the Quraish were feeling upset at the growing numbers of the Muslims. On this occasion, Utbah bin Rabi'ah (the father-in-law of Abu Sufyan) said to the Quraish chiefs: "Gentlemen, if you like I would go and speak to Muhammad (upon whom be Allah's peace and blessings) and put before him some proposals; maybe that he accepts one of them, to which we may also agree, and so he stops opposing us." They all agreed to this, and Utbah went and sat by the Holy Prophet. When the Holy Prophet turned to him, he said: "Nephew, you know the high status that you enjoy in the community by virtue of your ancestry and family relations, but you have put your people to great trouble: you have created divisions among them and you consider them to be fools: you talk ill of their religion and gods, and say things as though all our forefathers were pagans. Now listen to me and I shall make some suggestions. Consider them well: maybe that you accept one of them." The Holy Prophet said: "Abul Walid, say what you want to say and I shall listen to you." He said, "Nephew, if by what you are doing, you want wealth, we will give you enough of it so that you will be the richest man among us; if you want to became an important man, we will make you our chief and will never decide a matter without you; if you want to be a king, we will accept you as our king; and if you are visited by a jinn, whom you cannot get rid of by your own power, we will arrange the best physicians and have you treated at our own expense." 'Utbah went on speaking in this strain and the Holy Prophet went on listening to him quietly. Then he said, "Have you said, O Abul Walid, what you had to say?" He replied that he had. The Holy Prophet said: "Well, now listen to me."Then pronouncing Bismilahir Rahmanir-Raihm Surah (to start reading surah Fussilat*), and (after finishing, the prophet said*Utbah Abul Walid, now you may act as you please." then Utbah arose and walked back towards the chiefs, the people saw him from afar, and said: "By God! Utbah's face is changed. He does not look the same man that he was when he went from here." Then, when he came back and sat down, the people asked, "What have you heard?" He replied, "By God! I have heard something the like of which I had never heard before. By God, it's neither poetry, nor sorcery, nor magic. O chiefs of the Quraish, listen to what I say and leave this man to himself. I think what he recites is going to have its effect. If the other Arabs overcome him, you will be saved from raising your band against your brother, and the others will deal with him. But if he overcame Arabia, his sovereignty would be your sovereignty and his honor your honor." Hearing this the chiefs spoke out:"You too, O father of Walid, have been bewitched by his tongue." Utbah replied, "I have given you my opinion; now you may act as you please." (Ibn Hisham, vol. I, pp. 313-314).
Before I forgot, this is what I was actually about to write before I did the search on Br Nouman's bibliography. In one of his other lecture on answering the question why is the Quran is considered to be a miracle on its own, among others that he has given, one answer really stand out to me. He first answered it by saying that the Quran is in Arabic which is the best of literature. He then said that there is one verse in the Quran (which after my search led to Surah 74 verse 3), it says "Rabbaka fa kabbir" which can be translated to "Magnify your Lord (Allah)". If the words are read backwards, letter-by-letter, it will also say the same thing. And guess what, there is no other language that could do that to a sentence except for the Quran which is a divine revelation from Allah. 

I hope you would have the time to listen to the talk and hopefully it will give us all a stronger conviction to learn the Arabic language. As Br Nouman has said in his talk, Allah promises that He would make it easy for those who would like to remember or grasp the Arabic language for the knowledge and the love of the Quran. InsyaAllah..

* my addition out from the real text just to clarify