Sunday, June 20, 2010

Messy me?

Of course I am not posting this photo to show the whole world just how incredibly messy my room is. Try to look at the photo one more time. :D

Thursday, June 17, 2010

In control~

When I was younger and at that stage when you outgrown your outfit really-really fast. Yup, that was about the time. At each phase of that stage, it would occur to me that I would either show favouritism to one particular t-shirt or pants. Here's the thing. At some point, because I was growing, the t-shirt or pants would be too tight or I would look ridiculously funny should I try forcing them onto myself. Usually to my dismay, I would say, "asal baju ni dah kecik" or "naper suar ni dah kecik"... instead of realising that the fact that the baju n suar didn't actually become any smaller. But it was just me growing up to become a big n healthy me :P. Yes yes... not that I am in denial. It's just that I hope that my favourite t-shirt or pants would forever fit me.

What's my point? Some things are just out of your control (ahahaha, yes I could have given a better start to my story). Whether you like it or not there are elements that are just beyond your control. Like growing up for example (yes, my given example laa). And of course the one great example to this is - you can never have your 'own' time. Sigh~ Long sigh~  Yup. The one thing I really want to get hold of badly right now is time. Dah tak kisah dah favourite t-shirt or pants. I just want a remote control for the time. So that I could stop, pause or reverse the time. HOhoHoho... There are just so plenty to do. My timetable has jumbled up all over again. Poor Insyirah had to spend most of her time on her own. 

At a twist of fate, currently, I have this one pyjamas which believe  it or not do get smaller. Seriously laa.. now I could actually say "naper baju ni dah kecik". I know it must be the pyjamas because I am not growing 2mm tall each month. The pyjamas was able to fit a size ten when I bought it (I think) and now I think it has dropped down three sizes.  If I stretched my arm, the sleeves is now 3inch away from my wrist. So last time I couldn't fit any more because I was growing. Of course it would not have happened if and only if I have followed the care instructions on it's label. Sigh~ nasib it's cost me only 10dollar. 

So you see, then there is the element that you can be in charge of.. taken care of.  Aaa.. yes, although you can't control how 'fast' the time is going, you can always have control on what to do with the given time. You can take in charge by making wise plan by not stuffing everything in the end i.e. do your work from time to time and not keeping everything to the very last minute. 

Then again.. to all students out there, who are in the same boat as I am. Who are in the process of completing the end of your thesis or simply writing for conferences or journals, I know. Sometimes there are just the time when ideas or good sentences won't come by although you have stuck your face from morning till night in front of the computer. I understand. Sigh~ Whether this is an element of 'under control' or 'out of control', I pray that may Allah help and ease our doing so that we can all go home as soon as possible to be among our loving families (especially to newly wed like K afi :P). And of course to me, so that we can spend raya in Malaysia this year! Yeay~~~ Amiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn Ya Rabb

Friday, June 11, 2010

Total blank~

Before I am typing this, I had actually made myself comfortable next to Insyirah with as much plush pillows to support my bulging tummy. Yes I have. I knew I was tired, but my eyes deny to cooperate. Usually I would fall asleep DEAD easily. I wonder what's bothering my mind. To be honest, I don't have anything in mind. It worries me. 

So I put away everything, switch on my computer, check on the latest news on fb then look at my ym list, tried to buzz my sister who must be tired after her long exam today but couldn't get hold of her (either she's asleep like what I usually do every time I finished all my exams or enjoying the company with her friends which what I would do second :P)... and finally, that's how I caught myself typing this. 

I don't have any plan to make any point for this entry actually. For once I could use this time to write on the topic that I've left out. But then again, honestly, I don't have that 'feeling' tonight. And so why am I typing this (which I wouldn't normally do i.e. to let myself out into public for no particular reason)?

A'ha. I know. Maybe it's my imbalance hormone due to this pregnancy. Aaaa perhaps... I am sorry for making you read this with no benefit what so ever. I will insyaAllah put a more 'convincing' story in the near future. And if you are reading this, you would know that I finally clicked on the 'publish post' after fighting with myself whether or not to save it just as draft. HohoHOHoho.. I see you guys in my later post ;)...

ps: to my dear brain, are you tired? speak to me please... 

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Lalala :)~

It's a week into June, yet I haven't posted any entry since my last. To be honest, there were too much going on and too many to be scrutinized... I realised that I only ended up talking to myself on the issues and not typing it all down here.. And of course in some cases I still have to do some more readings before I could eventually write anything 'decent' about it. Anyway, I guess, maybe I could escape a 'heavy' entry for a while and give you guys some update on what's going on around me. :D

Well, two weeks ago, I had my first scan. YEAY! Was sooooo excited to see it. Insyirah was amazed to see the baby on the screen too. And it convinced her that yes she is going to be THE big sister. I remember my first time looking at Insyirah at the monitor screen. I was totally and completely felt "what a miracle" to see some-being actually living in ME! Though Insyirah was no more than 6cm long, I couldn't express how happy I was when I first saw her. I couldn't wait to touch her. Now she is all grown up and passed the 80cm line *I think :P*. Insyirah could do her funny talk and never failed to make Yaby and I laughing altogether. She also started to become quite useful when come to fetching some things for me or put away things into the dustbin. HohohHOHOHohoho.. yes, it sounded evil. But just take it as if I am training her to be a good helping hand citizen in the future. *clear throat*

The week after as in last week laaa, it was on Wednesday when I started to feel a build up headache. You know the feelings that comes to you telling you something like in my case, 'hey Amy, I think it's going to be your migraine. You better go and get some paracetamol down your throat'. But you see, it won't be a problem if I hadn't ignore that clear message. And so by 11pm, my head was pounding. I grab hold of a rapid panadol but nothing happen. As in I was not relieved at all. I tried cooling down my head and literally pour minyak angin cap kapak around my head. And after 2 hours battle, I fell asleep but only to be woken up again by the head smashing sensation. Sigh~ It was terrible. I never like headache. At this point, yup everything sounded louder and I got easily irritated. And yes, I forgot to mention the vomiting. Adeh~~~ Eh jap, I am not planning to write on my unfortunate migraine adventure. But it links to the next point I about to make, hence, making up this point. huhu...

And so, wrapping up my headache event, it lasted not just a day this time. The headache lasted until Saturday morning. What worries me like crazy was, came that Friday i.e. a day before my head clears up, I had spotting and cramps on the right side of my pelvic. This time not just a small patch like I had in my week four but more of like what you had on your first day of your period. Gilerrrr cuak. Yes I was. Risau tahap gaban. And so I went to see the GP and after two meetings, they came out with a conclusion that it might because of my heavy abdominal muscle reaction due to the vomiting which was caused by the migraine which led to some 'rupture' on the uterus line. They gave me a jab which supposedly prevent me from being nauseous but I didn't think it worked well since I had a couple after getting the jab. Sigh~ never like vomiting too. The doctor said, I shouldn't be worry about the spotting unless if the pain is around the uterus and the spotting continues throughout the weekend. Alhamdulillah, as of today, I haven't had the cramps anymore or pain around the uterus line although there were still some brown spots. I hope it will clear away and give me a piece of mind soon. 

To my dear baby, I hope you are nesting well in Mi-mi's 'tummy'. Sorry for all the commotion that was caused by Mi-mi's migraine.  I hope you have had a good rest and no more 'bumpy' nights. Can't wait to see you again soon. :D I leave you now with some of Insyirah's latest photos that have been piling in the SD card. And to angah, insyaAllah the video soon too yer. ;)