Thursday, December 23, 2010

Simplicity rules~

Slept early last night and now after a quick visit to the kitchen, my eyes fail to sleep again. Hence, here I am. 

After hearing another lecture yesterday, I thought of reminding especially myself of the one practice that would benefits us Muslim greatly. It is a simple act, yet I found myself struggling to istiqamah with it. It's to do the dzikir.

In the talk, the Sheikh mentioned of this hadith:
Who among you does 2,500 bad deeds in one day?’ They said: ‘How could we not count (our sins)?’ He said: ‘The Shaytaan comes to any one of you whilst he is praying and says, Remember this, remember that, until he finishes his prayer and does not do (this dzikir), or he comes to him when he is lying down and makes him sleepy, until he falls asleep (without doing this dzikir).’” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 3332).  
no wonder I found myself skipping dzikir from time to time. Simply because the satan knows of the great benefits and as usual 'they' don't like us to get it. Makin nekad after this to take time to do my dzikir. I did a quick search on the net (since it is the fastest way laa kan) on the excellence of dzikir and found this website that literally list out the hadith that support the act of dzikir. 

Among the interesting ones are:
Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "There are two phrases that are light on the tongue but heavy on the scale of rewards and are dear to (Allah) the Gracious One. These are, subhanallah wa bi-hamdihi (All Glory is to Allah and all Praise to Him), and subhanallah al-azim (Glorified is Allah, the Great).'' (Muslim, Bukhari, and Tirmizhi) Abu Hurairah also reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "I love repeating subhanallah, wal-hamdulillah, wa la-ilaha ill-Allah, wa-Allahu akbar (Glorified is Allah, all praise is due to Allah, and there is no God but Allah, Allah is the greatest) more than all that the sun shines upon.'' (Muslim and Tirmizhi) 
Abdallah reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "During the Night Journey I met Ibrahim who said to me, 'O Muhammad, convey my greetings to your ummah, and tell them that the Paradise is of pure land, its water is sweet, and its expanse is vast, spacious and even. And its plants are Subhan-Allah, wal-hamdulillah, wala ilah illallah, wa-Allahu akbar'.''
InsyaAllah, let us all try to do dzikir  as much as we can. I am totally trying to remind myself yang banyak cakap ini to skip more of the talking. And to sit longer on the praying mat after each of the 5 compulsory solat to at least recharge the 'good' gauge before it go close to empty. And to ensure that I've done the dzikir first before closing my eyes. Simply because there are tremendous benefits in performing the dzikir. You don't want to miss out on this easy-to-grab-points, do you? ;)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The second stop...

Remember how our parents or friends or ustazah or etc warned us of the danger of having the thought/feeling of unsure/uncertain/doubt i.e. the feeling of"was-was" especially when we're performing our solat? Aaaaa... kan kan~ It's clearly important that the feeling of was-was can 'jeopardy' the quality of our solat. Dah laa nak khusyuk dalam solat susah. Like how many times I had questions spinning in my head. From question like "have I off the electric stove?" to "how do I solve that question?". Sigh~

Yesterday, I had the chance to listen to a lecture on afterlife. In one part of the lecture it touched on Sakaratul-maut i.e. the time when a man is on the verge of death. It is said, that at that very point in our life, the Satan will work their 100% to make a muslim go astray. They would try all means that are available to them. The Sheikh mentioned that one of their known tactics is to make use of the doubt that was left in a muslim's heart. What the Satan did is, to increase the doubt of the muslim until he or she would question their religion i.e. Islam. When a muslim started to question Islam, at that point, it would be easy for the Satan to lead them astray. Nauzubillah hi minzalik.

Say for example, during one's life, after a calamity befalls, it came across his/her mind how the ill-fated tragedy can occur to him/her i.e. questioning the qada' and qadar. The Satan would then deceive, manipulate the event and increase the doubt in his/her heart by whispering something like, "if God really loves you, He would not do that to you". 

In the lecture, the Sheikh told the famous story on the deception of Satan in the story of Barsisa. I copied and paste the text below from the web. May it be a lesson to us all. 

There were three brothers from Bani Israel who were called upon to go on Jihad. These three brothers had a sister who did not have any one else to be taken care other that by them. They did not know under whose care could they leave the young woman. Then they thought that the most reasonable place to leave her was with the Abid (worshipper) because he was the most trusted man in town. Barsisa, the Abid was a man who used to be in a monastery devoted to worship of ALLAH.

So they went to him and said, ” We are being enlisted to go on Jihad and we want to leave our sister with you. We trust no one in town but you.”

Barsisa replied “Audhu billah, get away from me.” This was an Abid who was not married and he did not want to deal with these problems.

The brothers said, “We have no where else to leave our sister but with you. We don’t trust anyone else.”

So Shaytan came to Barsisa and said, “If u don’t accept, she might be left with somebody who might not be trustworthy.You have to step-up and take this responsibility.”

So Barsisa told the brothers, “Leave her in the empty house.” (which was seperate from the monastery where he was staying). The brothers then left her there and went on Jihad.

After that, Barsisa the Abid used to leave food at his doorstep and the young woman had to come out of her house and walk all the way to take the food from his doorstep. Barsisa never used to leave from his monastery. Barsisa had never met her and they were not seeing each other. Days passed by like this.

One day, Shaytan came to Barsisa and said, “Somebody might see her when she is walking out. So rather than have her leave from her house. You need to carry it and leave at her doorstep.” So he started leaving the food at her doorstep. This happened for many days.

Again one day, Shaytan came to Barsisa and said, “You can’t just leave the food at her doorstep. Somebody might see her when she opens the door and she is very beautiful. You would have to take the food and leave it inside her room.” So Barsisa would go and knock on the door. She would open and he would walk inside and leave the food there. That continued for a while.

Then again one day Shaytan said, “You can’t leave this poor woman alone without giving her any company. Nobody is speaking to her. So she may be feeling very lonely and that might lead to haram. So why don’t you go and talk to her from behind the door.” Barsisa liked the idea and so for a while he would sit outside and just talk to her for HOURS. Slowly and slowly the relationship was building up and Shaytan was finding it easier to drag him to the next step.

Shaytan then came and said, “You can’t just sit there talking to her, people might see you. You need to go inside, just sit in another room without looking at her and talk to her.” So for sometime that is what he did. Slowly she started getting closer to him and everytime they got more and more close to the extent that eventually he comitted zina (fornication) with her.

So the Abid, the worshipper who devoted his life to service in the monastery comitted zina. Because of that, she became pregnant and delivered a boy.

Then Shaytan came to Barsisa and said,”Now when the brothers come back and find out that their sister has a child you are going to be in big trouble. The only way for you to put an end to this issue is to kill the baby.” Barsisa followed the advice of Shaytan and killed the child.

But it didn’t end there. Shaytan came to him and said, “Do you think that this woman will keep the secret after you kill her own child? The only way out is to kill her.” So Barsisa killed her and burried both mother and child in a certain location inside the house.

Later the brothers came back and inquired about their sister. Barsisa gave some reason and said, “She had passed away and this is where she is burried.” Saying that he pointed to a false grave.

Then Shaytan went to the brothers and made them see a dream. In that dream they were told that Barsisa killed their sister and the proof was that she was burried in a different location (i.e. under the rock inside the house).

When the brothers woke up they started talking to each other and found out that they all had seen the same dream. They thought that there must be some truth in it. So they went and uncovered the grave which Barsisa had pointed to and found it empty. Then they went inside the house and found the rock as mentioned in the dream. On digging underneath the rock they found their sister’s dead body along with that of the child.

So they went to Barsisa and forced him to disclose the secret of what happened. He went ahead and told them the whole story. The three brothers took Barsisa to the king’s court and he was given punishment of execution.

While Barsisa was being dragged to his execution spot, Shaytan came to him and said, “Listen Barsisa I am Shaytan and it was me who was in communication with you since this whole thing started and not your inner thoughts. Now I can get u out of this trouble if you want. I am the one who put you in this trouble in the first place and I can get u out of it.”

Barsisa asked, “What should I do?”

Shaytan said, “Do sujood to me and I will save you.”

Barsisa did sujood to Shaytan (i.e. committed shirk) and as soon as he did so, Shaytan ran away and Barsisa was executed.

Monday, November 22, 2010


Yesterday was my birthday. Happy birthday to me! :D hehe.. To all my friends who send in wishes via emails, smses and wall posts, THANK YOU DEAR for remembering me. *terharu sgt2x*

This year my special present came early. Hehe.. yup, as mentioned in my last post, the special present is no other than the arrival of baby Ibrahim. :)

Just like Insyirah, Ibrahim came three weeks early from his due date. I felt the first sign of contraction on Sunday 12:10am. I ignored the first sign and continue to go to sleep thinking that it might be just a braxton hicks. About 10 to 11 minutes later, I was woken up by another contraction sensation. That was when I said, if the next one came in, I would inform Yaby. And it came. So I broke the news to Yaby but had assured Yaby that he didn't have to worry until morning arrived. At that point, Yaby had to put his thinking cap on. Sebabnya, we were in Bangi for the weekend and haven't got the prep bag with us. After a little discussion, I suggested that we would make a move to Klang after Subuh prayer, grab the bag and then headed to the hospital. My only reason was there were no spotting or have my water broke to suggest that Ibrahim would come any sooner. Yaby agreed and told me to try getting more sleep. So I slept.

As the contractions built up slowly in the next couple of hours, I smsed my sister and made a call to Ummi who was in Penang to let them know the news. By 3am, the contractions interval had come down to 7 minutes. Its intensity increases in the next hour. At this point, I had to start doing the cat-stretch to ease the pain. Seeing me in that position, Yaby decided to make a change of plan and suggested that we should start making a move back to Klang as soon as possible. At exactly 5am, Yaby broke the news to Mak and Ayah telling them our plans. Insyirah was still asleep at that time. So apa lagi, kena kejutkan laa. I don't think she knew the weight of what was happening around her. Hehehe... We told her that we are going back to Klang. In her daze, she agreed. Mak and Ayah decided to tag along too.

In the car, the contractions came every 5 minutes. With Insyirah sleeping on my lap, I was hoping that the contractions could give me more time to 'rest'. HOhohoHOhoho.. but of course it didn't laa kan. I was worried on Insyirah's part since Ummi was not around. Luckily my dear sister manage to make plans with her friends to cover her duty hours to attend to Insyirah's needs. After getting all that we need, we made our way to the hospital. It was 6:30am when the nurse announced that I had 3cm dilation and said that I should be warded. At 7:40am, my doctor arrived and after a few observation she told Yaby and I that Ibrahim will be out by 9am. To be honest, I doubted when she told me that since I was 7cm dilated when I arrived at the women's hospital and it took me more than 2 hours to push Insyirah to her way out. :P

My doctor broke my water bag and by 8:20am, I had the 'pushing' urged. How do I know the exact time you asked me? Hehe.. aaa it's because I was staring at the huge clock from time to time. :P At that point, my doctor said, "Amelia, your baby will be out in three pushes. When the contraction come, push as hard as you could. Macam nak buang air besar. Hold your legs and lift up your head at each push.". I did as what she said and Alhamdulillah I heard Ibrahim's cries before close to 9am after three pushes. I could see Yaby's relieved and excited face. I was relieved too and at the same time tak percaya pun ada that I was holding Ibrahim that soon.

Alhamdulillah I don't have to undergo cesarean. Alhamdulillah there's no tear. Alhamdulillah Ibrahim is healthy. Alhamdulillah I am fine. I know I couldn't say enough thanks to Allah. And thank you all for continuing making prayers for me. :)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Quick post~

Alhamdulillah the waiting has ended. As of last Sunday, my family tree has grown another branch. We are officially 4! yeay to me. Will put up a longer post soon. right now I am too busy to be pampered while having my dear Ibrahim next to me busy sleeping ;p ;D hohoho...

And (remember) when Ibrahim said: "O my Lord! Make this city (Makkah) one of peace and security, and keep me and my sons away from worshiping idols."
"O my Lord! They have indeed led astray many among mankind. But whoso follows me, he verily is of me., And whoso disobeys me, still You are indeed Oft-Forgiving, Most merciful."
"O our Lord! I have made some of my offspring to dwell in an uncultivatible valley by Your Sacred House (the Ka'abah at Makkah) in order, O our Lord, that they may perform As-Salat. So fill some hearts among men with love towards them, and (O Allah) provide them with fruits so that they may give thanks."
"O our Lord! Certainly, You know what we conceal and what we reveal. Nothing on the earth or in the heaven is hidden from Allah."
"All the praises and thanks are to Allah, Who has given me in old age Ismail and Ishaq. Verily! My Lord is indeed the All-hearer of invocations."
"O my Lord! Make me one who performs As-Salat and (also) from my offspring, our Lord! And accept my invocation."
"Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established."
- Surah Ibrahim; verse 35-41.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

My quick rant~

Lately I am addicted to speak with Insyirah over the phone. After a few rings, there will be that little high pitch voice on the other line who would straight away say, "hello mi-mi". My heart just melt and it continues to falter when Insyirah said, "mi-mi, come. Let's watch cartoon with me.". Adoi~ Bila tak call nak call. Bila dah call anak suruh balik nak balik. How?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Don't be angry laa mak~

I came across this one hadith on "patience";
Anas ibn Malik reports: “The Prophet saw a woman crying by the side of a grave. He said to her: ‘Be mindful of God and be patient’. She said to him: ‘Leave me alone. You have not experienced my calamity; and you do not know him.’ She did not recognize the Prophet. She was then told that he was the Prophet. She came to see him, but she did not find guards at his home. She said to him: ‘I did not realize who you were’. He said: ‘True patience is that shown at the first blow’.” (Related by Al-Bukhari).
Clearly, this hadith is trying to point out the virtue of patience when calamity strikes and that although crying over someone's death is permissible, one should not include wailing or crying aloud and lamenting on death. 

What I am also more interested is on the other fact described in the commentary of this hadith. It was on the personality of our beloved Prophet Muhammad saw. Little was he offended or take it personally when the lady spoke to him in a rude manner. 

Talking about being offended. 

You see, in the last few weeks, whether it was on the radio or someone's discussions or on the newspaper, I had come across with these many stories which kinda related to being offended. In our words, kecik hati laa. 

In one lecture that I heard, it is mentioned on the importance of parents and also husbands not to be quickly offended or kecik hati by the people 'under' them. That is to say, children as to parents and wife to a husband. The point that the Ustaz was trying to make is, in our Islamic teachings, it is highlighted the importance of blessing of parents to the children as well as the blessing of a husband to the wife in order for the children and the wives to live a peaceful, prosperous and happy lives in this world. Should parents and husbands senang sangat je terasa, it would only welcome and bring hardship to the anak-anak and the isteri. After hearing that, I have make sure that this point is pinned neatly at the back of my head. Dah jadik mak laa katakan. :P 

Like the story in the hadith, what made the lady spoke in such a rude manner to our Prophet i.e. the one man we all Muslim must respect, is because she was overcome by her troubled emotions. This situation can happen to anyone i.e. bile tak stabil one might do or say something that is not appropriate. Nama pun manusia and especially to us 'woman' who's mood pretty much easily swayed by our hormones. *coughing*. And of course when the kids are entering that crucial age stage when the smallest things matters i.e. the teenagers!!! hehehe...

Having said that, we couldn't argue that there were cases where children and wives behaving badly and clearly menderhaka towards the parents and the husbands. Ni memang dah masuk bab cerita lain. Nauzubillah~

Let us all mendidik secara berhemah and penuh sabar ye kawan-kawan. ;)

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Second chance...

"If you give a person one chance, they might turn out to be a good person...", and so I was told. Daddy said that after he shared me an interesting story of how one of his friends make a turning point in his life. And it was the right turn.

He used to be one of the kongsi gelap guy who had been living a brutal and violent life. He even told Daddy that one of the police stations in Malaysia was his second home. Although I have to skip most of the details, hearing this, anyone could imagine what a rough life he had been involved. 

It all changed when one of his other friends who also happened to be Daddy's friend advice him that he should change his lifestyle. Enough of the kongsi gelap and come out clean. The friend suggested that he should start working under him and even said that he could promote him to become a supervisor. When I asked Daddy how old is his other friend who was braved and kind of him to offer such kindness. Daddy told me that the friend is younger than him. At this point, it only makes it clearer to me that you don't need to be a certain age to change another 'man's' life.

He was given a chance to change and good for him, he grabbed it. His abrupt 180degree turn also lead him to build a happy family of his own. 

Second chance seldom come by. But when they do, some still ignore the clear sign. Only the one that's fortunate live to enjoy a better life. No wonder there's the doa in al-ma'thurat which said, "Ya Allah, janganlah Engkau biarkan nasib kami ditentukan oleh diri kami sendiri" which from my lack of vocab lead me to literally translate the doa into "O Allah, please don't let us decide our own fate i.e. guide us in making decision in life". 

I wanted to write a longer post but my dear Insyirah kept pulling my hand and told me "mi-mi, stop working. Let's go down.". And so with that, I end this post. ;)

Sunday, September 26, 2010


It has been more than a month now since my last post. Which also about the same length of the time I've been here in Malaysia. Oh yes, Happy Hari Raya to all.. maaf zahir and batin. :)

Alhamdulillah I am in my 30th week of my second pregnancy. Things seems to be very busy under my belly every now and then since I could feel the kicking, the turning, the karate move where someone put an elbow into your ribs... yup, you name it.

Anyway, my last appointment with my GP in St Lucia was about a week after my 12 weeks scan. Then I had non until I touched the Malaysia soil again which was about 5 weeks ago. Here's the thing. During my labour with Insyirah, I had a 3rd degree tear. I remember a few minutes after I had little Insyirah in my arms, a doctor came in to examine and after a few preparations I was led to an operation theater room. Two plus hours later, I was in another place where a couple of happy smiling nurses help to put warm blanket around me while another was checking on my pulses and BP and so on. 

I remember looking at the clock and I couldn't believe that it had been close to three hours since the last time I hold little Insyirah. In my head I was wondering how was Ummi and Yaby were coping with little Insyirah. I then asked the nurses when I got to see my baby again. Immediately after that, one of them then said, "right now" before another nurse came along and led me to my ward.

As I entered my ward, I could hear a high pitch yet small cries. It was after all Insyirah. Yaby said, she might be hungry. And so after they transfered me to my bed, Yaby laid little Insyirah next to me and before you knew it, she found what she was looking for. :D 

Eh jap.. what was I suppose to write about? :P

OK OK.. I was actually meant to tell that I had a 3rd degree tear. If you are not sure what is a 3rd degree tear, just know that it is 1 degree away from the worse kind of tear! *saje letak exclamation mark :P*

And so, during my first check up in Malaysia, the Dr said something which scare me and has been causing me dilemma ever since. Based on the fact that I had a 3rd degree tear, she advised me to consider cesarean for this pregnancy. To be honest, I could feel my heart skipped a beat upon hearing that. :( Mana taknyer, the Dr's explanations was fair. In summary, 1) the chances of getting 3rd or 4th degree tear for my case has increased to 15-20%; 2) there might not be or a good specialist might not becomes available to 'mend' the tear; and 3) should point '2' comes in, then it would also mean that my bowel system could be affected. Sigh~

I have been asking around as well as browsing the net to see if anyone had a 3rd or 4th degree tear and still manage to go for a 'clean' normal pregnancy for their subsequent baby. Despite the fact that C-sect is the one thing I want so badly to avoid, I have had the "why not you consider 'it' this time?" running inside my head. Adoi~ My only request here is, please let me know if you have heard of stories with positive outcomes having a normal labour despite a history of 3rd or 4th degree tear so that I could be more confident to go for normal and avoiding the massive operation of C-sect.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

A new chapter~

So yes I have been away. It has been a tremendously hectic+killer weeks in the last 3 weeks. But Alhamdulillah, everything was good and I'm now safely in Malaysia. To be honest, I still find it hard to absorb the fact that I am back for good. All my syukur to Him. :D

Anyway, coming back home does not mean that I am not at all going to be busy. In fact, it was the total opposite. For a start, there was the Dr's appointment after a quick trip to the hair stylist.. since my hairstyle doesn't fit at all to the lovely hot condition of my Tanahair. The place I heart most. Then of course, I have been shuffling and browsing web pages almost everyday to find a suitable place we could call a place of our own. Adoi~ I can't believe it is soooo difficult to find the dream house close to my work place. Sigh~ I mean, not that I didn't know what to expect after my history of finding a house for rent when I was in Brisbane. It's just that, this is totally different. I really-really have to be 100% sure that the house I am buying is the best to bring up my family. Indeed this is a new chapter for me... tak sangka weii.. I am currently in that phase. 

Then of course, in less than 15 weeks, insyaAllah I'll turn myself into another chapter when this baby boy is welcome as an official member of  ellyWong's family. My guess is, I will have to expect a 'little' different from the previous outcome i.e. having a baby girl. One thing for sure, insyaAllah, I know Insyirah will come in handy since she has been practicing her pengawas skill all over the place. Say this morning, 'accidentally', while I was doing a little thinking of my own, little did I know I was nibbling my protruding finger nails. Then came my dear Insyirah telling me, "mi-mi, don't do that. Don't bite your finger nail". Of course, I was left with red face laa since I was suppose to be the one who should be telling 'someone' not to do such act. *Daddy, if you are reading this, I promise you that I'll try not to repeat this shameless behaviour in front of my children ever again. hihihihi* But soon after the malu phase has gone, I couldn't help but felt blessed having Insyirah who's unlike her Ummi, is more of a ladylike and proper in manner. Alhamdulillah.. :D

Then the next milestone that will mark as a new chapter would be in *ehem* years of time when I am going to replace the number '2' in the first digit of my age with my favourite number - '3'. Aiyooo~ I know. I am tuaaa already. Just a while ago, Yaby and myself were looking at our photos dated 6 years back and realised how much we have 'grown' :P huhuhu. Now that that has been said, I pray for Allah to panjangkan all of our umur ibadat. I mean who didn't know the famous lyrics in the Sepohon Kayu nasyid (is that the title?). Yup, it's - "walaupun hidup, seribu tahun kalau tak sembahyang apa gunanya". Adoi~ now that it came to me, lagi cuak when come to think of the lyric than becoming older. 

Since I haven't post a Happy Ramadhan wish to everyone on this blog, I think it is not too late to wish all Muslims out there Selamat berpuasa and menjalankan amal ibadat. May Allah accept all of our ibadah. Amin Ya Rabb ;)

Friday, August 6, 2010

Another walk to remember~

Mak aii.. I do really think this baby is making me way too emotional.

As I walked around my empty house, tetiba I was engulfed by that melting feelings. I couldn't believe that this day has finally arrived. Alhamdulillah. The day I could say I am going back to Malaysia for good. InsyaAllah... 

It's only seven days left. This day next week, I shall bid my farewell to Brisbane with uncertain knowledge of when I shall be visiting Brisbane ever again. 

Although I am totally thrilled to get back to Malaysia, like I've said earlier in this entry, I felt somewhat sedey laa jugak. Of ourse it's because of the many good times and great companies that I have collected along with other bitter hours. Hihihi.. to my dear friends, I know you know who you are, thank you for making my journey a little less painful and a whole lot colourful. You guys rock!

When I posted this photo n my fb, I put a caption of "First arrived with only 4 bags. 4years later.."

that was also the time it strikes me on how much weigh this journey has added to my list of memories. And of course, the best 'packaging' of all is having my little Insyirah and another one coming soon this December insyaAllah - the family package :D hehehehe..

I would definitely miss Brisbane. And surely there will be the moments when I wouldl smile when I recall this adventure. :D

Monday, August 2, 2010

My quick rant~

It's already Monday!!! but me packing is not ready at all. aiyoooo~

Friday, July 30, 2010

Blood is thicker than water~

You might have encountered this yourself. 

One day you were talking to a total stranger or someone you just met only to find that some of the words that came from him or her sounded like a plausible answer to your search problem.. or perhaps became a speech of advice.. or simply makes you thinking. So many times this has happened to me. The latest I had was last weekend at a Birthday party. 

I always think that my family is different from others. We have our own way to say "I care" and "I don't care". We shared secret 'body'-language that pretty much is useful when it comes to compromising when others were around and we didn't want them to know. And we called names to each other (I am 'gemok' with the 'o') and the list could continue on and on.

Growing up, there were many times when disagreement came between us. If they say Clash of the Titan defines the biggest type of 'clash'-es, then I would say ours were ahead of that. :P There were disputes on simple ideas, on how things should be done and not to be done, what to play, who will be the bad 'guy', which flavour to buy, how one should dress and etc... and as soon as the animosity increases, what came next would be a scene in a movie that I never like. hohohohohoho :P

The other day, I had chatted with Ummi through YM. I know I have asked her before. But somehow I just hope that she would give me a different answer. So I ask, "why is it that we siblings are so different from one another?". Let's face it. I am becoming a mom of two. And insyaAllah for more to come. So I guess, it's about time that I equipped myself with solutions for conflicts that may arise between my kids. hohoho..  No matter how much I hope that she would give a different answer, she stands on her ground. Ummi answered me telling that there's the beauty and at the same time, as Ummi has put it, "ujian" for parents. I couldn't delay my doa upon hearing that. Hoping that Allah would help me in becoming a good and responsible parent myself.

Anyway, back to my conversation with my friend. And so she mentioned, "now that I am here (i.e. Brisbane), my brother would call me and tell me how much he misses me." 
"Is he older or younger than you?", I asked
"He's my younger brother. You know, we used to fight all the time."
Immediately at that point, it all came to me. Me and siblings were in the same boat. But soon after one by one has to leave home, it all started to change. I mean maybe it is true that 'distance makes your heart grew fonder'. 

Since then, we have less 'strong' and 'silly' arguement. It could be the reason that it is simply because we met less hence do not want to waste the precious time on feud or.. it could be the reason that we are all grown up now. And when I come to think of it, if it's the latter, then I realised one other important thing, "can I win the race in chasing more good times that I'd lost?". 

True, there were times when I felt that we could all be more lovey-duvey type, sharing our deepest and darkest secrets hehe.. BUT I also know that what we are today, are defines from what we experience as a child growing up. And if anyone ask, I would say that I am happy of who I am today :P. Although I would pray that I would continue to become a whole lot better person in the future laa kan ;). Hence, I would not want to trade any of my childhood with any Rumpelstiltskin for a world. And so I pray.. for that what ever time frame left for us siblings, and of course for yours too, will be of good times. InsyaAllah amiiinn ya Rabb. 

Speaking of which, insyaAllah this year, 1431/2010, will be the first in sooooooo many years that all of us siblings will be able to gather at once!!! Alhamdulillah~

Friday, July 23, 2010

Quick post

Promise you that this going to be very quick. ;P

So, I saw this one statement "Berkhidmat Untuk Negara Kerana Allah".

First thing in mind- Alhamdulillah! Superb line.

Second that came crossing - Hmmm... if only it is true to many.

I am not saying that the one who had his name signed underneath the tag is somewhat bad. No. That is not what I am suggesting. I was actually just thinking that just maybe this is a template for most official paper work. Which then led me to my second statement.

Who would not want to see anything "Kerana Allah". Just because if it's "Kerana Allah" then there must be the sense of sincerity and surely it will be an 'amiss'-free. *clear throat*

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


To dream big or to dream  realistically.. that's the question I have had in mind since my last conversation with my dear sister.

At one point of our conversation, I pointed out that just maybe we should all have a list of dreams that we 'want' or should I say 'hope' to achieve. I know I have one but the weigh of that dream is so enormous that I can't be 100% sure that I could one day fulfil it.

After we stopped the conversation, little did I know that it comes to linger me. I can hear the sound of the idea every now and then until it makes we wonder if there's something wrong to 'dream big'. Should I have just stick to 'dream realistically' instead.

What actually made me to start writing about this 'now' i.e. in the midst of everything was actually the effect after reading one entry on a blog. It was posted on one of my friend's status. And just a few hours ago, the blog's author passed away after battling with cancer. Reading her last entry was the second of its kind. The first was a friend of mine who passed away in a car accident. I pray for Allah to bless these two souls.

How is it related to this post? For some reason, I think I was reminded that the 'end' is so near and hence led to the other question, "would I be able to achieve it?".

I could understand when people say to 'dream realistically' just to avoid having dreams that cannot be realised to avoid being too upset. On the other side of the leaf, which I am in, I could also understand that the reason of having 'big dreams' are for us to continue to drive ourselves and pushing our limits.

In one of her sentence, she said 
"All I have (is) hope. Hope that becomes a prayer. A prayer that Allah cures all pains and fever. I am still thankful, even in this difficulties my hope and my prayers didn't get washed away."
That was the line that actually strikes me. I have always seen 'hope' strongly related to 'dream' since at times, I always telling myself how I would hope that I could achieved my dreams one day. 

In her last entry, she mentioned on her preparation to perform Umrah. To me, in her case, this is a 'realistic dream' which has step forward to become a 'big dream'. She had hoped and dreamt for the day when she would perform  the umrah hand-in-hand with her beloved husband to come. A dream that every muslim yearn to follow. In another blog, it is informed that she managed to perform the Umrah with her husband. Alhamdulillah..

My conclusions, I would say, go ahead. Dream big. Dream big and work for it. Even when you think it is difficult to achieve it. InsyaAllah, just by having the 'dream' you will improve yourself. For some people, it will help you to move on with life. One thing I got after reading her entry, it is never too late to 'dream'.


Butterfly fly away - Miley Cyrus

You tuck me in,
Turn out the light
Kept me safe and sound at night
Little girls depend on things like that
Brushed my teeth and combed my hair
Had to drive me everywhere
You were always there when I looked back
You had to do it all alone
Make a living, make a home
Must have been as hard as it could be
And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scared things wouldn't turn out right
You would hold my hand and sing to me
Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry hold on tight.
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly Fly Away
Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away)
Flap your wing now you can't stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true
Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away)
We been waiting for this day
All along and know just what to do
Butterfly Fly Away

Friday, July 16, 2010

My quick rant~

aiyo~~ naik kah~ nak raya mesti naik wan people say. so betul la. aiya~ this time all five aaa. aiyooo~ so meaning aaa, angpau for raya this year aaa.. blue kaler can or not? aijooo~ ma fan!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Supposedly stressed out~

We heard a lot about stress. For example, some people were discussing on what causing the stress. They come out with a list from bad working environment to money problem to heavy work load to unhappy or bad family relationship and etc. Then there's of course, they speak of the effects of stress. To name a few, they claim it can make one sick, crazy or worse, it can also kill. The talk about stress didn't end there obviously. Another group of people then come out with solutions or remedies to solve the stress related issues like for example, eating chocolate or talk to someone and seek attention from professional (which I am not convinced at all) and the list goes on and on.

My current state - I am seriously in stress mode. With packings, paper work and ultimately submitting this thesis. What I realised though, unlike how I used to be when I am under stress, I am feeling a little too realx and  composed. To be honest, I am quite shocked to find myself not panicking. 

Just a while ago, I baked cookies for my dear Insyirah. It all started when she couldn't get hold off some of her friend's chocolate chips cookies. I told her, "mi-mi will bake for you Okay" and I did while she was having her afternoon nap. Yup. As if I was not busy. *sambil geleng kepala*

Anyway, I see this 'weird' pattern overcoming me since... since I lost my 'bad air problem'. I have been experimenting and cooking foods that I have never or would be the last in my list to be attempted  like laksam and  nasi kerabu. No wonder I have been gaining weight extra fast this pregnancy :P. And now that I think of it, this time memang totally different from my previous (although I have a notion that this might be a girl too :D).  I got wind, I don't like even the smell of the chicken not until recently, I totally have no drive to do any shopping, I can blog which was a problem with me having Insyirah :P and I am somewhat 'bigger'. Hohohoho...

Going back to the stress issue, whether this is a good sign of 'under stress' or not, I have only one thing in mind that is still 'to get out of this stress-causing-situation soon!'. I just can't wait to get my feet back in Malaysia although I have that 'alarm' feelings at the back of my mind. Sebab dengar kata Malaysia panas gilerr skang sampai ketiak basah. HOhohOHOhohoho... Luckily there are more positive than the negative effects of the scorching temperature like enjoying ramadhan in Malaysia and especially having the family around.... best giler!

I am not trying to give a direct solution to stress but my personal advice in combating stress would be, 1) try to calm yourself. Whether you choose to solat sunat or sleep or eat or calling your spouse or your parents or jumping in a river and scream while splashing the water around you (I've seen this act in a movie :P), you just have to let it out. Because there's no point trying to force your way through when you have something in mind. Which ever way it is, then 2) the next thing is you need to pull yourself together and convinced yourself that you could overcome the cause of the stress and would not let the stress gets the better of you. You should always have this in mind, that "there is no problem without a solution". If your colleague is giving you a hard time, let him or her know. Sometimes, they might have not realised that their act is sooooooo annoying and could stress you out. I've watched on the tv a few days ago on how a prank of another friend who continuously throwing pieces of paper cause the other guy to go berserk which later throw a few punches on the friend. Ouch! Then there was another scene where a man who must have been had a hard day started to smash the printer using a monitor. Uuuuu~ scary kan. Stress is never a good thing indeed.

One thing for sure, no matter how hard we try, there will be the time which left us in stress. Tak boleh avoid punya. But always have in mind and yakin that Allah knows that you are able to overcome it as long as you put your trust in Him. And I was told that if you are a woman, stress is the main cause of those wrinkle lines you see. You don't want them do you? :P hoHohohOho... so cepat2 laa let go off the stress. Good luck everyone. ;) And yes Amelia, silalah submit your thesis yer :) huhuhu~

Monday, July 5, 2010

Tying the knot~

The last time I was waiting for a meeting with my supervisor, I found myself waiting at the pantry. hehehe.. why? For some reasons, the school has taken our room and decided to move us to a room packed with 9 another people. At first first I don't mind at all after getting the email about the move since I am going to finish after all. Then came last Thurdays, I saw my stuff shoved in a box and put on a table where there's no power plug or network connections, no chairs.. and Yaby computer mouse and keyboard were no where to be seen too. Kena cilok laa ni. Anyway, since the meeting was delayed, I found myself wondering through and fro with Insyirah tail gating me. That was when I began to rasa sakit hati and found myself sitting at the pantry.

And there at the pantry with least academic material but abundance of published material on fashion, gossips and stories i.e. the magazines, I found myself going through one. Can't remember what the title of the magazine is. But I do remember one article that I had read. It was on finding true meaning of marriages. There were stories of three interesting wives telling their part on what they described as their perfect marriages. I can see why they are proud of themselves since it is not that often that these mat salleh have able to secure a happy 15+ years of marriages. I managed to read only two since I had to check 'manually' on whether my supervisor had already waiting for me. They are quite funny and at one point I have to double check if my chuckle was too loud to stir the quite office environment.

One statement that I think is very-very true if you want to have a happy marriage of your own is "never ever-ever compare yours with others". Let's faced it. It is normal if you think that "the garden is greener on the other side" because like I used to tell people, the syaitan never like happy marriages. So they will tend to whisper ideas in one's head to invoke the feelings of dissatisfied. To think that the wife or the husband was being unfair, uncaring and etc. And so I would say that it's normal if every now and then for everyone to think that way simply because it isn't your fault. It's some red-devil doing. But then again, we are left with choices. Whether to follow suits the evil plot or simply brushed it off behind your ears. I've read sometimes ago about how he/she suggested that we should think of the less fortunate should any of these bad ideas come along. And how much we have to always be thankful. And for husbands and wives to tolerate and be considerate. And of course to listen and communicate to one another.

Both husband and wife have a great responsibility on their shoulders. We should be reminded always that there are more to marriages than 'that'. Like bringing up your kids and educate them so that the future has generations that can continue to carry these responsibility too. 

One taboo question in marriages has always been 'divorce'. You see, again because of a decision made by the husband or wife, the whole family institution will be affected especially the children. Adeh~ Sedih when comes to think of it. I've seen myself the negative effects on these children. I can't argue that there were time when divorce is the only solution, but in many cases, I know it happened because one or both parties are selfish. They only think of their happiness without considering their children. Nauzubillah hi min zalik. 

Marriage is sacred. It is not as simple as tying a knot using some ropes like we used to learn in the girl guide. We should all remember that. :)

Friday, July 2, 2010


Can't believe it is July.. it was so long since my last post. And if I am not mistaken, I saw a couple of spiders who were about to put up some of their silk webs on my webpage. :P

I've listened to one Arabic nasyeed from mimi's blog. The title is Ya Rabb. I couldn't really tell what the whole nasyeed is all about but I can promise you two things. It makes you feel 1) all sayu and 2) how you will feel admiration to the Arabic language.

I never had the opportunity to really sit, listened and learned the Arabic language. Yes, I am planning to do so soon insyaAllah once I got back since I've heard that the Uni have prepared some Arabic classes for staff. Obviously, not knowing the Arabic is a total drawback for myself. Not only do I have to learned by heart some of the key words in the translations in order to get the khusyuk that is sooooo difficult to come by during solat and which I could tell you that unfortunately I haven't covered that many surahs, I also lose the many beautiful meaning behind the Arabic verse since I am only reading the English translations. In many cases, the translator has added longer descriptions to present the meaning of the Arabic words. But still, the learned Arabic would say that some meaning will still be lost in the translation. sigh~~

The other day, Yaby was listening to Br Nouman Ali Khan. At first, I was listening from afar while doing my work. In just a short period of time, I found myself listening attentively to this Br Nouman's lecture. I love his style of presentation. It really is captivating. I was about to search for his extended bibliography to be shared here when I found this other lecture. He explained the need to learn and understand the Arabic language. Yes, I have to stall my entry to listen to this lecture since it is so related to what I was about to write. At the same time, I was making notes as well as grabbing my tafsir.. and here I am again 51+1 minutes (1 minute that is after from my search up to this point :P) after listening to why he thinks we Muslims should be studying Arabic and how. My say about this talk, "Ya Allah, please don't group me among the cursed ones" -- which he explained in the talk.

The talk started off by mentioning that the Quran is the Speech of Allah and it is in Arabic and which has been mentioned 11 times in the Quran. In the middle of the talk, he shared the story of Abul Walid, a debater and political negotiator of the Quraish who's heart tremble with fear after listening to Surah Fussilat (41:1-41). A non-believer but a man who understand the language of the Quran. After some browsing, I found the whole hadith here:
According to authentic Traditions, it was sent down after the affirmation of the Faith by Hadrat Hamzah and before the affirmation of the Faith by Hadrat Umar. Muhammad bin Ishaq, the earliest biographer of the Holy Prophet, has related on the authority of Muhammad bin Ka'b al-Qurzi, the famous follower of the Companions, that one day some of the Quraish chiefs were sitting in their assembly in the Masjid al-Haram, while in another corner of the Mosque there was the Holy Prophet sitting by himself. This was the time when Hadrat Hamzah had already embraced Islam and the people of the Quraish were feeling upset at the growing numbers of the Muslims. On this occasion, Utbah bin Rabi'ah (the father-in-law of Abu Sufyan) said to the Quraish chiefs: "Gentlemen, if you like I would go and speak to Muhammad (upon whom be Allah's peace and blessings) and put before him some proposals; maybe that he accepts one of them, to which we may also agree, and so he stops opposing us." They all agreed to this, and Utbah went and sat by the Holy Prophet. When the Holy Prophet turned to him, he said: "Nephew, you know the high status that you enjoy in the community by virtue of your ancestry and family relations, but you have put your people to great trouble: you have created divisions among them and you consider them to be fools: you talk ill of their religion and gods, and say things as though all our forefathers were pagans. Now listen to me and I shall make some suggestions. Consider them well: maybe that you accept one of them." The Holy Prophet said: "Abul Walid, say what you want to say and I shall listen to you." He said, "Nephew, if by what you are doing, you want wealth, we will give you enough of it so that you will be the richest man among us; if you want to became an important man, we will make you our chief and will never decide a matter without you; if you want to be a king, we will accept you as our king; and if you are visited by a jinn, whom you cannot get rid of by your own power, we will arrange the best physicians and have you treated at our own expense." 'Utbah went on speaking in this strain and the Holy Prophet went on listening to him quietly. Then he said, "Have you said, O Abul Walid, what you had to say?" He replied that he had. The Holy Prophet said: "Well, now listen to me."Then pronouncing Bismilahir Rahmanir-Raihm Surah (to start reading surah Fussilat*), and (after finishing, the prophet said*Utbah Abul Walid, now you may act as you please." then Utbah arose and walked back towards the chiefs, the people saw him from afar, and said: "By God! Utbah's face is changed. He does not look the same man that he was when he went from here." Then, when he came back and sat down, the people asked, "What have you heard?" He replied, "By God! I have heard something the like of which I had never heard before. By God, it's neither poetry, nor sorcery, nor magic. O chiefs of the Quraish, listen to what I say and leave this man to himself. I think what he recites is going to have its effect. If the other Arabs overcome him, you will be saved from raising your band against your brother, and the others will deal with him. But if he overcame Arabia, his sovereignty would be your sovereignty and his honor your honor." Hearing this the chiefs spoke out:"You too, O father of Walid, have been bewitched by his tongue." Utbah replied, "I have given you my opinion; now you may act as you please." (Ibn Hisham, vol. I, pp. 313-314).
Before I forgot, this is what I was actually about to write before I did the search on Br Nouman's bibliography. In one of his other lecture on answering the question why is the Quran is considered to be a miracle on its own, among others that he has given, one answer really stand out to me. He first answered it by saying that the Quran is in Arabic which is the best of literature. He then said that there is one verse in the Quran (which after my search led to Surah 74 verse 3), it says "Rabbaka fa kabbir" which can be translated to "Magnify your Lord (Allah)". If the words are read backwards, letter-by-letter, it will also say the same thing. And guess what, there is no other language that could do that to a sentence except for the Quran which is a divine revelation from Allah. 

I hope you would have the time to listen to the talk and hopefully it will give us all a stronger conviction to learn the Arabic language. As Br Nouman has said in his talk, Allah promises that He would make it easy for those who would like to remember or grasp the Arabic language for the knowledge and the love of the Quran. InsyaAllah..

* my addition out from the real text just to clarify

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Messy me?

Of course I am not posting this photo to show the whole world just how incredibly messy my room is. Try to look at the photo one more time. :D

Thursday, June 17, 2010

In control~

When I was younger and at that stage when you outgrown your outfit really-really fast. Yup, that was about the time. At each phase of that stage, it would occur to me that I would either show favouritism to one particular t-shirt or pants. Here's the thing. At some point, because I was growing, the t-shirt or pants would be too tight or I would look ridiculously funny should I try forcing them onto myself. Usually to my dismay, I would say, "asal baju ni dah kecik" or "naper suar ni dah kecik"... instead of realising that the fact that the baju n suar didn't actually become any smaller. But it was just me growing up to become a big n healthy me :P. Yes yes... not that I am in denial. It's just that I hope that my favourite t-shirt or pants would forever fit me.

What's my point? Some things are just out of your control (ahahaha, yes I could have given a better start to my story). Whether you like it or not there are elements that are just beyond your control. Like growing up for example (yes, my given example laa). And of course the one great example to this is - you can never have your 'own' time. Sigh~ Long sigh~  Yup. The one thing I really want to get hold of badly right now is time. Dah tak kisah dah favourite t-shirt or pants. I just want a remote control for the time. So that I could stop, pause or reverse the time. HOhoHoho... There are just so plenty to do. My timetable has jumbled up all over again. Poor Insyirah had to spend most of her time on her own. 

At a twist of fate, currently, I have this one pyjamas which believe  it or not do get smaller. Seriously laa.. now I could actually say "naper baju ni dah kecik". I know it must be the pyjamas because I am not growing 2mm tall each month. The pyjamas was able to fit a size ten when I bought it (I think) and now I think it has dropped down three sizes.  If I stretched my arm, the sleeves is now 3inch away from my wrist. So last time I couldn't fit any more because I was growing. Of course it would not have happened if and only if I have followed the care instructions on it's label. Sigh~ nasib it's cost me only 10dollar. 

So you see, then there is the element that you can be in charge of.. taken care of.  Aaa.. yes, although you can't control how 'fast' the time is going, you can always have control on what to do with the given time. You can take in charge by making wise plan by not stuffing everything in the end i.e. do your work from time to time and not keeping everything to the very last minute. 

Then again.. to all students out there, who are in the same boat as I am. Who are in the process of completing the end of your thesis or simply writing for conferences or journals, I know. Sometimes there are just the time when ideas or good sentences won't come by although you have stuck your face from morning till night in front of the computer. I understand. Sigh~ Whether this is an element of 'under control' or 'out of control', I pray that may Allah help and ease our doing so that we can all go home as soon as possible to be among our loving families (especially to newly wed like K afi :P). And of course to me, so that we can spend raya in Malaysia this year! Yeay~~~ Amiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn Ya Rabb

Friday, June 11, 2010

Total blank~

Before I am typing this, I had actually made myself comfortable next to Insyirah with as much plush pillows to support my bulging tummy. Yes I have. I knew I was tired, but my eyes deny to cooperate. Usually I would fall asleep DEAD easily. I wonder what's bothering my mind. To be honest, I don't have anything in mind. It worries me. 

So I put away everything, switch on my computer, check on the latest news on fb then look at my ym list, tried to buzz my sister who must be tired after her long exam today but couldn't get hold of her (either she's asleep like what I usually do every time I finished all my exams or enjoying the company with her friends which what I would do second :P)... and finally, that's how I caught myself typing this. 

I don't have any plan to make any point for this entry actually. For once I could use this time to write on the topic that I've left out. But then again, honestly, I don't have that 'feeling' tonight. And so why am I typing this (which I wouldn't normally do i.e. to let myself out into public for no particular reason)?

A'ha. I know. Maybe it's my imbalance hormone due to this pregnancy. Aaaa perhaps... I am sorry for making you read this with no benefit what so ever. I will insyaAllah put a more 'convincing' story in the near future. And if you are reading this, you would know that I finally clicked on the 'publish post' after fighting with myself whether or not to save it just as draft. HohoHOHoho.. I see you guys in my later post ;)...

ps: to my dear brain, are you tired? speak to me please... 

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Lalala :)~

It's a week into June, yet I haven't posted any entry since my last. To be honest, there were too much going on and too many to be scrutinized... I realised that I only ended up talking to myself on the issues and not typing it all down here.. And of course in some cases I still have to do some more readings before I could eventually write anything 'decent' about it. Anyway, I guess, maybe I could escape a 'heavy' entry for a while and give you guys some update on what's going on around me. :D

Well, two weeks ago, I had my first scan. YEAY! Was sooooo excited to see it. Insyirah was amazed to see the baby on the screen too. And it convinced her that yes she is going to be THE big sister. I remember my first time looking at Insyirah at the monitor screen. I was totally and completely felt "what a miracle" to see some-being actually living in ME! Though Insyirah was no more than 6cm long, I couldn't express how happy I was when I first saw her. I couldn't wait to touch her. Now she is all grown up and passed the 80cm line *I think :P*. Insyirah could do her funny talk and never failed to make Yaby and I laughing altogether. She also started to become quite useful when come to fetching some things for me or put away things into the dustbin. HohohHOHOHohoho.. yes, it sounded evil. But just take it as if I am training her to be a good helping hand citizen in the future. *clear throat*

The week after as in last week laaa, it was on Wednesday when I started to feel a build up headache. You know the feelings that comes to you telling you something like in my case, 'hey Amy, I think it's going to be your migraine. You better go and get some paracetamol down your throat'. But you see, it won't be a problem if I hadn't ignore that clear message. And so by 11pm, my head was pounding. I grab hold of a rapid panadol but nothing happen. As in I was not relieved at all. I tried cooling down my head and literally pour minyak angin cap kapak around my head. And after 2 hours battle, I fell asleep but only to be woken up again by the head smashing sensation. Sigh~ It was terrible. I never like headache. At this point, yup everything sounded louder and I got easily irritated. And yes, I forgot to mention the vomiting. Adeh~~~ Eh jap, I am not planning to write on my unfortunate migraine adventure. But it links to the next point I about to make, hence, making up this point. huhu...

And so, wrapping up my headache event, it lasted not just a day this time. The headache lasted until Saturday morning. What worries me like crazy was, came that Friday i.e. a day before my head clears up, I had spotting and cramps on the right side of my pelvic. This time not just a small patch like I had in my week four but more of like what you had on your first day of your period. Gilerrrr cuak. Yes I was. Risau tahap gaban. And so I went to see the GP and after two meetings, they came out with a conclusion that it might because of my heavy abdominal muscle reaction due to the vomiting which was caused by the migraine which led to some 'rupture' on the uterus line. They gave me a jab which supposedly prevent me from being nauseous but I didn't think it worked well since I had a couple after getting the jab. Sigh~ never like vomiting too. The doctor said, I shouldn't be worry about the spotting unless if the pain is around the uterus and the spotting continues throughout the weekend. Alhamdulillah, as of today, I haven't had the cramps anymore or pain around the uterus line although there were still some brown spots. I hope it will clear away and give me a piece of mind soon. 

To my dear baby, I hope you are nesting well in Mi-mi's 'tummy'. Sorry for all the commotion that was caused by Mi-mi's migraine.  I hope you have had a good rest and no more 'bumpy' nights. Can't wait to see you again soon. :D I leave you now with some of Insyirah's latest photos that have been piling in the SD card. And to angah, insyaAllah the video soon too yer. ;)

Thursday, May 27, 2010


Alhamdulillah I had a chance to join a crowd of people to listen to two exciting talks by Br Imran. If I must described the style of lecture Br Imran had given, surely I would say it definitely has relatively the same style as Allahyarham Sheikh Ahmad Deedat. May Allah bless his soul and put him among the people He love.

I first 'heard' of the late Sheikh Ahmad Deedat after stumbling with one of his many pamphlet arranged neatly  in our little Musolla back in Southampton Uni. I remember the first title that caught my attention was "Jesus is not God". After reading a few I decided to google out who this guy could be. He seems to be incredibly knowledgeable. It was then I found clips of his debate which was his method of da'wah. I was totally impressed by him especially after watching the clip that shows his biography on how he started his quest of learning and understanding the Quran and Bible to reach out to others. Yes, do find the time to do some search on the youtube and watch a few. I can be 99% sure that you can't get enough of him. :)

The second lecture that I attended by Br Imran was on "Allegations against the Quran & Their Clarification". The exciting part was of course when it came down to the QandA session. Alhamdulillah there were some non-muslims who take the time to listen and asked questions. My opinion, all questions except for the last one were answered brilliantly with strong facts. For the last question, Br Imran might have rushed a bit, hence, making it a little less convincing. What was the question you asked me? HohohOHO.. lenkali kite bukak cite. But there is one answer which stand out to me the most that night. It came to me as a seriously fresh perspective. 

A lady asked, "How should we react when people mock our beloved Prophet Muhammad saw?". Part of the answer replied by Br Imran sounded something like, "During the time of the Prophet, he was humiliated, shoved with animal gutts but did anyone stand in rally? Did our Prophet instruct anyone to take actions against those people? And do you know that there were more caricatures which makes fun of Prophet Jesus. But did you react the same way? Did you forget that Prophet Jesus is our Prophet too. What we could do instead of joining in a rally is to tell them about Islam i.e. by doing da'wah. You'll be surprise that many of them didn't know the truth about Islam."

p/s: esok I'll have my first 12 weeks scan. So excited to meet my baby! :D 

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Complaining am I?

Happy Teacher's Day!!! :) and to my dearest sister Sarah Wong Azman, Happy Birthday. :D 

That aside, this morning, I felt like giving my thoughts on one other thing.  

I remember I was told that one of the questions that will be asked after your passing is, "What have you done during your youth?". If I have to give a skema answer to the question right now, honestly speaking, I could be sure that I don't have a 100% mark answer. Sigh~

At times when I was reminded of that question, it would strike me hard as a real wake up call. And always, I would try to think of ways that I could contribute to the ummah. Alhamdulillah, in my latest development on drafting what-could-be-done has led to something on which I think is possible to be done. And with Yaby who came out with the idea, insyaAllah I am yakin that this could go all the way as long as Yaby and I really work hard for it. Then of course, at the back of my mind was that other question, "how much difference can an individual make?".  I am not being sceptic. I am simply saying based on the reality that surrounds us. Just a while ago, I told Yaby how helpless I felt most of the time after reading the news. I knew that one of the signs of Kiamah is when more people promoting the negative elements and hide the positive. And the bad comes to people as something that is normal while the good isn't. 

I think I have lived long enough to understand how the human 'system' works. You see, I am not expecting a perfect and flawless leadership. Should I was a man and destined to become a leader, I know that I would bound to make mistakes along the way. I know the flaws are visible just because we are human. I could accept that. But what I found it hard to accept is when one made a mistake but too ego to apologize. And I even harder to get a sense out of some leaders promoting something that is clearly wrong and stopping the good. And the hardest is to accept the fact that some people knew that they are not capable of taking the job, but refuses to step down for reasons only they and Allah know.

I know becoming some 'people' is not a stroll in the park type of job. It is hard. You'll not only be questioned in this life but even more in the next. And speaking as someone who never takes the leading role, one could argue that I do nothing more than to complain. 

As Yaby has put it, "maybe this is a test for people like us". When I asked "how is it like us?", Yaby answered, "Orang-orang yang tak sabar. Yang ingin lihat balasan Allah datang (pada mereka yg berbuat silap) sekarang.". To be honest, there's the glimpse of truth in Yaby's words this morning. 

I am an individual. How much difference can I make? I hope you ask the same question too. Just so we could do our part, stop complaining and pray for the best. And may there be greater good at the end of the tunnel. 

ps: O Allah, I know this would sound selfish. But please not let 'it' happen in my life time.