Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Quick post

You know how you sometimes felt that you were almost there. You saw the light at the other far end of the tunnel. But all of a sudden, the light became dim and slowly disappear. And you once again felt lost. You then increased your pace to the direction of the light that was once there. Wanting to see that light again. Badly. In the process of making your way there, you tripped and hurt yourself due to the darkness. You walk a little further, now slowly. Soon enough, you grew tired. You began to hear little voices in your head telling you just maybe you should give up. That you would never see the light again. Tears started to build. Before you knew it, you have burried your face in your hands. Thinking that there was no more hope.

Adeh~ that's how I feel right now except that I haven't broken down to tears and insyaAllah still not given up laa. Just feeling all down and stressed out. Sigh~ See... it happened again. One day I was all pumped up, the next I felt like a lost child. Seriously. Nasib ada Insyirah who since just now insist me playing with her. And it's nearly 12am now. Oh Insyirah, takmo tido ker? Indeed children equals to happiness. I wonder what would I do should I have to send Insyirah back home to complete my thesis? Who would distract me from my problems? As of now, I am still undecided.

Ya Allah, please give me the strength to complete my study. So that I can have a piece of mind and have more babies! :D Amin~

p/s: congrats Pn Rose for that wonderful news! :)

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Leading passage~

In my chat with my sister today, I told her of my plan to becoming a millionaire (in a joking manner laa of course). Hohoho... Earlier, when I said to Yaby "Boleh ke if we have the intention nak jadi kaya?", Yaby answered, "Rasulullah pun kata berusahalah seperti akan hidup seratus tahun". And so, that was when I say just maybe I should reinstate one of my ambition again. (We will see just how far I will put it into action ;) :P)

Now, back to my chatting. And so, during my conversation with my sister, that is after telling her that I want to be kaya-raya, she told me, "any road you take will take you to the same destination". That was when the statement appear to me as something that I could do some thinking. I am not saying that you must agree with what I am saying, but I too have always seen it that way.

I then asked Yaby, "Yaby, in the case if I didn't meet you at college, where do you think we would meet?"

"Hmm? Memang dah takdir kite jumpa kat college.", replied Yaby.

"Alaa Yaby. Cuba laa fikir. Like for example, mana tau we have actually crossed road and dah jumpa each other many times masa kecik when you visited your makcik (since Yaby makcik's house is quite close to my house. It also happen to be I am in the same school with Yaby's cousins. And we used to go to the surau in front of Yaby's makcik house to do terawih. And not to forget to mention we have buy food at Yaby makcik's kedai several times before). Cuma, we didn't talk to each other."

Our discussion then led me to search for the fourth hadith from the famous 40 hadith. It is on Al-Qadar. Dah lama dah not being reminded.

Abu 'Abd al-Rahman 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported: The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, the most truthful, the most trusted, told us:
"Verily the creation of any one of you takes place when he is assembled in his mother's womb; for forty days he is as a drop of fluid, then it becomes a clot for a similar period. Thereafter, it is a lump looking like it has been chewed for a similar period. Then an angel is sent to him, who breathes the ruh(spirit) into him. This Angel is commanded to write Four decrees: that he writes down his provision (rizq), his life span, his deeds, and whether he will be among the wretched or the blessed.
I swear by Allah - there is no God but He - one of you may perform the deeds of the people of Paradise till there is naught but an arm's length between him and it, when that which has been written will outstrip him so that he performs the deeds of the people of the Hell Fire; one of you may perform the deeds of the people of the Hell Fire, till there is naught but an arm's length between him and it, when that which has been written will overtake him so that he performs the deeds of the people of Paradise and enters therein." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]
I remember during Aslam's class on chapter Qadr from the Riyadhus Salihin, one of the audience asked "How do we explain to a non-believer when they said, if everything has been pre-determined i.e. someone will end up in heaven or hell, then why bother doing good deeds?". Even after hearing the skema jawapan from Aslam, I still find it difficult to explain to others. But going through the text from the link above, I think I have found a good way of explaining Qadr.

...Some people, on hearing this hadith (the fourth hadith) as it is and without further explanation, might feel despair, fearing that they fall into the bad group of people mentioned. This will lead to determination (jabriah) - they may think that no matter what they do, if their end has already been written, then why should they bother to do good deeds. This is the wrong attitude to have as it is based on a wrong perception. Allah is Just. We should trust Allah. If we are good to Allah and trust Him, He will be good to us. We should be optimistic and not pessimistic. We follow Allah's commands and make the effort to be good Muslims and we should not despair...

Al-Qadar can be categorized as:
  1. Al-Qadar al-Kulli - the general qadar which has been recorded by Allah in Al-Lauhulmahfudz or the Preserved Tablet.
  2. Al-Qadar al-Sanawi - the annual qadar which takes place once a year (Lailatul qadar) - where it matchs what has been written in Al-Lauhulmahfudz.
What has been written in Al-Lauhulmahfudz is only known to Allah. It is not revealed to us - we don't know about our destiny, what our rizq is, where we'll end up, etc. To us it is ghaib and unknown. The translation of this hadith using the word "overtake" may not give the true meaning if it were to be understood that whatever has been recorded by the angels will be "imposed" on a person's life. We are simply being told about Ilmu Allah or the ultimate knowledge of Allah. What has been written does not cause us to do what we do. It is not a cause and affect situation, as believed by many Muslims. Many Muslims believe that as it has already been written, therefore this will cause us to do whatever has been written. The truth is even though it has been written and even though we will do it, we will not do it because it has been written. It is actually an association, or a matching. What we are going to do matches the knowledge of Allah, because Allah's knowledge is ultimate. In other words, what we are going to do matches what has been written. This shows the glory of Allah, the ultimate knowledge of Allah. So we should not have the understanding that things are imposed on us. Otherwise this will nullify the whole concept of iman (faith) and the whole concept of Creation and all other related concepts.
...We are responsible for what we choose and for what we do....

You could fine more of the forty hadith here.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

It's that day again...

This morning I woke up to the warm-cake-baking smells in the air. Ummi was baking a chocolate cake. Besides the cake we've no other plan. I thought of like laying back at home. After all, I've declared on Jijoy's birthday party which was twenty days earlier, telling them "OK aaa, korang takyah nak buat surprise2. Memang tak akan surprise punya".

So I did the washing, twice. Later help Ummi with the frosting. That was when Nuha called telling me "wei, I ada masak nasi lemak. Datang my place jom.". Of course the sense of "aaa.. is this Nuha's attempt to surprise me" came to mind. Especially after I said,

"Alaa, you makan ajer laa. Tak pun you pack tuk you makan2 masa you kuar nanti." (since she said they are planning to go out)
"Susah laa. Tak nak pack. You datang macam sepuluh suku or sepuluh setengah camtu tau."

I knew Yaby couldn't have been in komplot since Yaby acted like any other weekend morning.

So here's the thing. I knew I need to cepat since Nuha told me that she has planned for her sister and brother-in-law who have just arrived to visit 'some' place. That I believe. Ye laa, since Jijoy is working during weekdays, hence, biler lagi nak spent time with the family. Secondly, I kinda expect Sha might be there but I was telling myself "alaa, boleh kot if I went there for my 'surprise' breakfast without mandi". Yes! Yes yes... You didn't read it wrong neither it was a typo. If I was to have a bath and same goes to Insyirah, I knew it will take more than 30minutes laa kan. Adeh~

We arrived there close to 10:45. At one point when I knocked the door, I could here Nuha giggling mischievously. At that point, in my heart I was saying "aaa.. betul laa this is a surprise". When I opened the door, there was the 'surprise' shout. Sha was holding a cake with Nuha by her side. But they weren't the only person there. There were also Adi, Asmah, Shidah, Emma, Rahmat, Noreen, Saipol, Achong, Nuha's sister and BIL, Latape, Nazim and Ruji's family and of course all the little one!!! I was left stunned at the door. Surprised nak mampos. Adoi~ and the first thing that came to my mind, "I tak mandi weiii". Thanks to Nuha's expertise in making announcement, everyone knew that I didn't mandi this morning. Sigh~~~~~ Malu tahap gaban wei~ (Nuha, you jangan laa buat I macam ni lagi lepas ni :P).

Latape was telling me, "ee.. kenapa datang rumah orang tak mandi?". And as Emma has put it, "lepas ni surely mandi punya". Yup. Lesson learned. Later, Lan and Zu added to the crowd. Eventually it came to my knowledge that Yaby and Ummi have known all along. Ciss~

So that's the surprise. I am 27 today. Thank you everyone. You guys make my day today. May Allah accept all the prayers today. Amin. Also thanks to everyone who send me smses, wishes on FB wall and on YM. ;) :D

Ummi's chocolate cake...

Sha's cheese cake...

p/s: To people in Klang, the brithday card has arrived. Thank you. And ti, next time in the card, doa for chemi to have a better year in 2010 ye. Sebab if 2009, dah nak abih dah 2009 ni. :P hohoho <--demand!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Make believe!!!

"I think I'll try defying gravity".. hohoho...

Tak tipu. Time flies really-really-really fast these days. Tengok, dah Friday again.

Anyway, last.. (let me think jap.. adoi, Ahad ker Sabtu..) Saturday during our trip to the 'valley' (where the halal meat and Asian groceries can be found), it was dead hot. I knew Yaby was going to say 'it' at the third stop of traffic light.

"Tengok, bile hari panas terik mesti semua traffic light jadi merah."

Yup, that was his usual remark. Heard it enough to be remembered. So I was telling him,

"Yaby, it's because you 'make believe' the things you said."
"Mana ada", Yaby answered

As usual, both of us love to argue on the littlest thing. Hohoho.. So it became a subject of our trip. If I must record everything it here, it's going to take you hours to finish reading. LOL... but we ended up with something like,

"Seriously Yaby. Like the story 23 tu. After that 23 incident, that guy yang then cuba connect everything with the number 23."
"Hmm.. itu betul. Yasir pun dah perasan actually. Tapi yang 'make believe' tu tak betul." <-- seperti biasa laa kan :P.

I remember when I had that small intention of buying an ipod, pergi mana2, it was as if everyone has one. Tak kiralah while walking to the train station ker, or the person next to me in the train ker, or the person walking in front of me ker, or the people waiting at the bus stop ker, or the person sitting adjacent to me in the bus ker, or the makcik who came out from the car in the front parking lot ker, pendek kata "they are every where!". And the thing is, in my mind at that time I have this notion of "everyone has an ipod". But once I got it, it's like the view I had once before vanished. Yilek~ One: sebab I already have one and so couldn't care less about others, and Two: too busy looking at my ipod or lost in midst of listening to my audio book :P..

Nak di jadikan cerita, I was telling Yaby,

"Nanti tengok laa. On the way back nanti, semua traffic light will turn green."

The first traffic light was red but the second, third, fouth and fifth was green. I pun apa lagi,

"Haaaaaaaaaaaa.. hijau lagi.. hijau lagi... although it was still scorching."
"Mana ada, ni dah mendung. Haa.. tengok biler dah panas lampu merah" (yup, the sixth was red)
"Aik.. hijau lagi... hijau lagi"
"Lampu yang ini memang selalu hijau laaa", said Yaby tak puas hati.
"Hijau lagi.. "
"Tengok.. biler panas merah"
"Uiks Yaby, hijau laa. Depan tu pun hijau. Hijau lagi.. hijau lagi kan Yaby. Padahal yang ini jarang hijau bile lalu."

At this point Yaby mengelat laa...
"Tengok merah lagi."
"eii.. Yaby, dari semua baru tiga ok merah."
"Dah empat OK", replied Yaby and started to put it to count.
"Wah banyak nyer sampai terkira"

Obviously we didn't declare who's the winner of the 'argument competition' of that day. Why bother stating the obvious! :P

Whether one would accept 'make believe' or not, a term which I got from my ex-housemate Yati, I think it, by part and parcel, can have an effect on you. When I was soooo giler with all the motivational material, I still remember them telling like, "start your day looking at bright colours" (yang ini Yaby setuju pulak. Since as Yaby has put it, by looking at colours, we could absorb the energy from the different wavelength), "look at the mirror and tell yourself you are better today' and so on and so forth... which I think based on the 'make believe'. I believe if one do that added to the daily doa and solat hajat, insyaAllah would be the best way to keep the positive energy inside you. And macam iklan Duracel, it will last longer, insyaAllah.

p/s: So beware of what you are thinking. HohohoHOHOHohoho :P

Friday, November 13, 2009

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

On the note~

Just got the first feedback from sv. I love the feedback. InsyaAllah IT SHALL BE THE PERFECT PIECE! :D <-- as ummi has put it ;) OK, I'm all pumped up. Today has been such a great day! :)

Forgive and forget~

The weather.. check! *all cloudy and somewhat cool and breezy*
The environment.. half a check~ *at the office.. need to complete my writing but there's a tune playing in the background*

Hmm.. what a perfect moment to stay all mushy...

It's always easier to said than done... this statement is one-hundred-percent true! For instance, there's the "Forgive and forget".

Adeh~ just a while ago, I received a text message from D. In the message D was telling me how D is worry about things. And at the same time, D told me how lonely D felt without M around. This is not the first time D expressed D-self that way. I replied telling D not to worry too much and who knows maybe one day M will come back. D replied back telling me that no matter what, D will always care for M. Mana tak I felt all blue.

I must have got this sensitive side from Daddy. HOhohohohOHOho... And I believe my strong-self must have come from Ummi. While Daddy's letters are more of a "melancholy" tone, Ummi's letters sent to me have always been all "cheery-and-good". And yes, I had survived my many years being apart from home thanks to these two great people who kept believing in myself and kept me company with their letters. :)

Anyway, before I went astray too far from the actual topic :P, what I was trying to say is, sometimes, there might be a decision that we've made that little did we know lingers to haunt us for a quite some times. We wish badly to go back in time to undone our actions. We wish for the other person to forget and accept. But maybe.. just maybe he or she was too hurt.. even when thousands apologies have been accepted.

We human are useless without the guide from Him. You see, "follow your heart" can NOT always be the best move to every situation. Especially when the turmoil was at its peak and emotion was running wild. Always return to Him. He's the best Helper in everything.

To dear D and M, I pray for the best for the both of you.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

On the note~

Something lawak just happened...

I opened my internet browser to check on how to retract evidence blaa blaa (with regards to my work). And the google is by default my start page. If you happen to open it today, you'll notice that it has a cookie monster on it. So I was curious and wanted to see what it has got to do with cookie monster and found out that it's the 40th anniversary for sesame st. Having known that, I clicked on the search bar to type "retracting evidence" but instead type "anniversary..." Punyer laa sekejap dah hilang focus... LOL

p/s: sabar amelia... your's is next to come. hohoho

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Having FUN with PhD still~ :)

"Ummi, I have finished my work. Do you want me to help with other work?", pondered little Insyirah

"Aaa... yes yes.. Insyirah, you could help Ummi with my research. Nak?", answered Insyirah's Ummi.

"Baik Ummi. Where do you want me to begin? Do you want me to summarise for you this book here?", said little Insyirah.

Alamak~~ bestnyer if Insyirah could really do this. :P Hohohoho....

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Under threat~

Last Friday, in the Fiqh class (which I regretted not attending), they touched on a subject which is overwhelmingly compelling for me to share it here as soon as I heard it from Yaby. If only I wasn't too 'tired' staring at my monitor and punching letters on my keyboard (oh, alasan yang soooooo tidak valid :P).

So I was naive. Totally~ For me to actually not to think that this 'could' happen. I mean, I would not have thought for a PhD research title of "Strategies in bringing down people with Religion" say for example. Sharing this is useful since I felt that we need to be aware of our surroundings. Especially when you are a Muslim.

In the Fiqh class, Aslam mentioned of a group known as the RAND corporation short form for Research ANd Development. It's a non profit, semi non-official think tank for the *let me just highlighted it here* United State armed forces. So, basically from my little research and reading, what they exactly do are analysis and research on almost anything and everything that could benefit them as in the US lah.

But we are not talking simple research analysis. Who would have known that they felt so threatened by Islam that they conducted years of study to come out with hundreds of pages of papers. One which was highlighted yesterday (although I haven't manage to read all through) is on strategies on bringing down Islam. But of course, they didn't use a direct sentence to describe their actions like I did. Instead, they said, I quote, "to identify appropriate partners and set realistic goals and means to encourage its (Islam) evolution in a positive way". In the summary it continues "Clearly, the United States, the modern industrialized world, and indeed the international community as a whole would prefer an Islamic world that is compatible with the rest of the system: democratic, economically viable, politically stable, socially progressive, and follows the rules and norms of international conduct".

So my questions is, what does it mean by compatible again? And who really sets the "rules and norms of international conduct"? And did I see the word 'prefer' in the statement which implies that the human logical mind has intervene yet again. And please, what do they mean by 'norm'?

Like say for example, a kid would prefer an ice-cream and sweets over vegetable. If the kid is the person who sets the rules for the daily meal, then surely there will be more ice-cream and sweets over vegetable. There might even be the case where vegetables are out of the menu. The reason for this is simple. It's because they love the taste of the sweets and ice-cream despite the fact that there are no nutrition in the junk foods. But if a parent is in charge of the menu, a sane parent would definitely put vegetables in the kid's menu simply because of the clear fact that eating vegetables is a healthy habit. And to some families, the 'norm' intake of ice-cream and sweets might be once a day but another family might strictly have ice-cream and sweets intake only once a month. So you see, just by using simple language, we could see what a bull this people are doing and they claim to be professional analysist. Duhh~~~

A true muslim believer didn't make their own rules but follows what Allah has given in the form of As-Sunnah and the Quran. Allah knows what is best for His 'people'. What we human think as 'good' might not be as good after all. This is because, the knowledge of a human being is limited and can be easily interfere by our own ideology and lusts. This is simply because we are just human.

All I can say is that, this is another hidden campaign, camouflage beneath different skins. They have come to us in so many ways such as the news, tv shows, advertisements, books and etc. They have come to destroy Islam in a STRUCTURED manner. Who would have thought...

But seriously, why are they so afraid of Islam? Oopps. Did I just asked an obvious question? But seriously... can't they just leave us in peace. Oopps. Did I just said that although knowing that that is our purpose here in this life?

*** additional notes

It is state that the paper was intended to fight extremist. However, while they claim that the strategies are to curb radical and extremist in Islam, from the way I see it, they are implementing it on fundamental Islam itself.