Sunday, May 31, 2009

Have confidence...


My email has been flooding with wedding invitations especially from my mrsm friends. It was just the perfect timing for Aton to put an entry with some photos back from school. It sure brings loads of memories. And yes Aton and Ed, I too miss to be there again. And yes I too felt the two years there was the best time of my school years.

To be honest, when I got the offer letter from mara telling me that I was accepted to enter mrsm **, I wasn't that happy. It was more of the other PLUS I was becoming apprehensive about the whole thing. For the former, it is just becasue I was praying to get some place closer. And knowing that it is almost at the other end of Malaysia, and the thought of having to be in a bus for eight hours or more.. mmg tak best. And as for the latter point, it was because the offer letter arrived just a week before official admission. What is that?! How on earth am I going to prepare all the documentations without being in the state of lintang-pukang and especially to get the school uniform ready!

Mak aii I tell you...

For those of you who might not know, the mrsm uniform colour is different from the normal high school uniform. During my time, it has two sets of colours - blue and brown. In the offer letter, there was this space where they put a square box filled with a sample colour of how the blue and brown should be. To avoid from getting it wrong, Ummi and I had brought the piece of paper with the sample colour on to K*md*r to buy the fabric. And as I mentioned earlier, we only had a week to get my uniform done. So, Ummi had decided to sew my new uniform knowing clearly that it won't be ready on time if we sent to a tailor shop unless we were ready to pay extra bucks to get it extra fast.

When I arrived at my new school, my first impression was "this place is hot" as in cuaca hari ini panas yer kawan2x. There were no trees. Oh, just let me rephrase it. There were trees but were too small to provide with shades. Anyway, my second impression was "shoot! I am not wearing the right tudung. " and my third remark was "ummi, mimi rasa baju warna biru tu macam lain jer" (I was wearing brown at that time). Ahahaha.. lawak nyer when I recall back how nervous I became :P. So how I came about to my problems? Well as for the problem with wrong colour, after the first few weeks, I couldn't care less. Hohoho... Pakai jer but yes Ummi bought me a new one when I got back from the first school holiday. As for my veil, before I bought a new tudung at my first outing, there was this girl who offered me her spare tudung. Sooooo angel of her kannnn. She offered her kindness just after a short while we became friend. I guess she must have seen me through (as I explained earlier, I was nervous and worried. Takut kena marah ngan cikgu :P hohoho).

Tengok.. I still haven't come to my main point. I could really go on and on when talking about my experience at mrsm.

Anyway, before Ummi and Daddy left, we had a short photo session in front of block D. So here's a thing about me... but honest speaking, this is just my speculation. When I looked at a mirror, I think I didn't actually 'see' myself but see what I 'want' to see. Let say I was brushing my teeth, I would only stare at my mouth. When I was doing my tudung, I looked at the tudung. The reason why I am saying this is because I didn't realise how my cheeks were sunken and thin I was! Not until after I got a letter from Daddy containing a few photos which were taken in front of block D. If only I were in Malaysia I would have put the photo of myself for you guys to judge. I was 39kg at that time.

After a year had past, there was this one point when people starting to tell me "amelia dah makin gemuk yerr" and I remember cikgu * said "amelia dah tak boleh masuk lompat tinggi dah" (I was on the high-jumped team although lompat tak laa tinggi mana :P) and the makcik DS telling me "kena bagi amelia sikit. amelia kena kurang makan". And yang paling best of all is "baju amelia dah ketat. jadi macam sarung nangka". Betul! I am not joking. Ahahaha.. adoi adoi... Takkan lah tak sedar? Believe it or not, I didn't! It was after I kept getting these 'concern' statement, I stared hard at the mirror thinking "dah gemuk ek?". I was at a whopping of 60kg when I got back for Raya holiday. Before I did the scale, I had the same reaction from all my family members. And again, I only admitted that I was FAT when I did the scale and seen my raya photos. Hohoho... Yes yes.. I had my puppy-fat stage which lasted for maybe around 6 months or so.

Alhamdulillah, I wasn't caught up into the danger zone of inferiority complex and mind play. I think one of the main reasons is my mind was continuously occupied with something else. Hence, I didn't really sit and think and get depressed over what people have said. And the other point why I didn't take my peers comments the negative way is because I always felt good about myself.

Feeling good about yourself makes you confidence. And having confidence is very important. It make you feel extra good and beautiful too (trust me on this one :P). And when you feel confidence and beautiful, you would establish a better perception and people impression. But of course, one is not suppose to become too over confidence though. Wasatiah is the key to remember. I am saying all this because I've seen how peers were trapped in their own minds trying to be someone else and hating becoming who they really are. You are the best the way you are. So embraced that. And you don't have to pretend to be someone else. Remember that. ;)

To conclude this entry, I take back all the bad things I've said about my mrsm. mrsm ** I LOVE YOU!!! :D

*photos from aton's blog





Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Do the chores... :D

Since we are still hot on the parenting subject, I would not want to waste on sharing an article on bringing up kids which I got from Lyn. It really strikes me and bring loads of old memories when I read this. Maybe it is true. Maybe doing a little household chores could help with growing up kids.

Hmmm... Oh I tell you.. I wasn't one of the best helper at home when I was younger. Seriously! I have taken Chena for granted for all the things she is good at i.e. cooking and cleaning. And the best part of all the taking-for-granted issues was getting away with it and why it had gone so successfully was the fact because Daddy was working outstation most of the time. Hohoho... sori Chena.. :P

I love watching TV. SoOOooo in love with it. I know I remember telling you that TV is bad. But when I was younger, there was this time when I just want to watch Thundercats and Transformers and Gummy Bears and Jam and Scooby-doo (although I always knew that it would not be a ghost in the end) and more Thundercats.. I just want to watch all the cartoons! As a result to that, I would put my hands up voluntarily of not being the one to help at home. Then again, I should stress out that it only happened AT THAT TIME yer kawan2... Yup, it's important that I put a stress on that :P. Anyhow.. despite my honest and sincere confessions on how lazy I was with chores... *uhuk-uhuk* I must say that I was glad that Ummi and Daddy had somehow managed to forced some chores on me. Yes yes.. I wasn't always able to escape you see. :P

After reading the article, I become MORE grateful than ever! Thanks Ummi and Daddy for making me clean the kitchen, for making me vacuum and mop the house, for making me wash the toilet, for making me to wash the clothes and shoes, for making me to iron my clothes and for making me to cook especially!!! I remember the time when I couldn't stop whining "why do we have to have ayam kampung". It was all because I never like the job of preparing the chicken i.e. pulling the chicken feathers. *sigh* As I am typing this I just couldn't help shaking my heads and smile.. adoi adoi.. lawak gilerr2

So Insyirah and my future babies, don't blame Ummi tau for making you do all the jobs in the near future. Indeed.. work pays.. :)



p/s: Thank God. At least now I have an excuse for everything that I am going to ask my children to do ;) *evil laugh entails*

p/p/s: I am not implying that I am all that successful laa.. but jadi org laa.. ;) hehe

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Parenting skills...

So it's Saturday.. I've made up my mind actually that I'll do some work today to recover the time that I've spent 'unwisely' yesterday afternoon. Hohoho... But, as I saw Yaby and Insyirah laze around in front of the big screen playing some games.. there goes my plan down the toilet.. *sigh* Anyway, on the brighter side, at least I could use this time to update my blog which has been left for weeks now without any update... <-- yes lyn.. I knowwwww.. :P

The last few days, I've been discussing a lot on growing up issues. We heard too much lately on the news. Early this year, there was this girl who committed suicide because she couldn't stand anymore the harassment she faced at school which I bet she wasn't the first though. Then there was this group of boys bullying a girl and had gone as far as to torch her hair and to record everything and post it on youtube! Just how crazy can it get. And I thought my plan was the only down the drain. Yup, the morality among youngsters have worsen these days. And becoming a parent myself, I AM worrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Among other things that I'd also touch was on nurturing kids. I have seen how one way of nurturing style fit for some kids but not for the other. I'm sure you might have heard of people suggesting not to pamper our kids too much because they might be too spoil when they are all grown up. And of course not to do just the total opposite i.e. too strict with the kids because they might grow up to become just as rebellious as we don't want them to be.

And so the real questions really comes down to 1) where should we draw the line and 2) how do we know if we as parents had done enough or maybe too much. Tak ke pening.. This is always the point where I wonder how my parents have brought me up. How did they do it especially for Ummi to look after us siblings all by herself since Daddy only came back during the weekend every forthnight. Of course I've asked my parents how they did. And yes, I've read some books on caring of kids... but honestly speaking, to implement everything perfectly... *sigh* I guess time would tell whether I would float or sink to the bottom of the Parenthood chart... Hohohoho... All these talking about drain, sink and flost reminded me that I have spaghetti waiting to be drained. Bon apetit everyone... ;)

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Be patient...

The other day, I finally manage to get in touch with Ijan again. One of my closest friend from high school. She mentioned that she is having some sort of a problem and how much she is in need of being in the state of 'patience'. Yup, at least she knew what her problem is and trying to resolve it. When she said that, I too realised that indeed being 'sabar' is the fundamental element that could keep us sane and happy in our lives.

You see for example, I hate laundry. It's not the laundry that I hate most but it's the lipat-ing all the baju that makes me go crazy. If I could choose not to do one job for my entire life, I would easily say sayonara, farewell, good-bye, chiow to laundry. So tell me why hasn't anyone invent a machine that could fold clothes??? Anyway, because there is no mesin lipat baju and not enough money to pay Yati to do my laundry, it is the patience, my patience to take one cloth at a time. And before I knew it, it's all done. Ta-daaa~~~ But of course having mesin lipat baju would save so much time laa kan :P. Hohoho.. And take Insyirah's case as an example. Insyirah is growing and she started wanting to do things on her own. That would also include, eating and drinking. And mak aii I tell you, her aftermath would never fail to make me letering, "Insyirah why you eat like this" or "Insyirah why you throw your food???" or "Insyirah nooo... you spill everything." and so on and on... *sigh*. You see if I haven't had the patience to clean her mess, I would not let her eat on her own. That would mean slowing down her natural development process and not to forget to mention how soooo selfish of myself not to let her learn to eat and drink on her own. Of course another solution would be to just let the mess be as it is. I'm quite sure there are ants and maggots who would be happy to make themselves available to 'clean' the food left on the carpet. :P So you see how patience becomes a solution indirectly?

Should a colleague talk bad about you to your other friends, or something that is not true, the best solution is to confront her/him of what he/she has done. But if it persists, just have patience and the truth will InsyaAllah sets in. Or maybe you think you have given your best to do something but the outcome isn't as good as you have hope for (which is also what I am facing), be patient. For the time will come when the very best will shine. Remembering that He is Just. Continue with the effort, make dua and tawakkal. And of course, how patience really is important to keep a good relationship between husband and wife. Hehe...

So patience.. patience and patience... After all there is a saying, Whoever follows patience, success will follow him. And just like Ali ibn Abu Talib r.a. had once said, "Patience is of two kinds: patience over what pains you, and patience against what you covet.". So let us all try to be patient. :D


p/s: This afternoon, we say good-bye to Azrin and Rayyan. In Yati's case, she needs to 'sabar' for a couple of months before she could meet her princes again. Hang in there Yati. :)