My email has been flooding with wedding invitations especially from my mrsm friends. It was just the perfect timing for Aton to put an entry with some photos back from school. It sure brings loads of memories. And yes Aton and Ed, I too miss to be there again. And yes I too felt the two years there was the best time of my school years.
To be honest, when I got the offer letter from mara telling me that I was accepted to enter mrsm **, I wasn't that happy. It was more of the other PLUS I was becoming apprehensive about the whole thing. For the former, it is just becasue I was praying to get some place closer. And knowing that it is almost at the other end of Malaysia, and the thought of having to be in a bus for eight hours or more.. mmg tak best. And as for the latter point, it was because the offer letter arrived just a week before official admission. What is that?! How on earth am I going to prepare all the documentations without being in the state of lintang-pukang and especially to get the school uniform ready!
Mak aii I tell you...
For those of you who might not know, the mrsm uniform colour is different from the normal high school uniform. During my time, it has two sets of colours - blue and brown. In the offer letter, there was this space where they put a square box filled with a sample colour of how the blue and brown should be. To avoid from getting it wrong, Ummi and I had brought the piece of paper with the sample colour on to K*md*r to buy the fabric. And as I mentioned earlier, we only had a week to get my uniform done. So, Ummi had decided to sew my new uniform knowing clearly that it won't be ready on time if we sent to a tailor shop unless we were ready to pay extra bucks to get it extra fast.
When I arrived at my new school, my first impression was "this place is hot" as in cuaca hari ini panas yer kawan2x. There were no trees. Oh, just let me rephrase it. There were trees but were too small to provide with shades. Anyway, my second impression was "shoot! I am not wearing the right tudung. " and my third remark was "ummi, mimi rasa baju warna biru tu macam lain jer" (I was wearing brown at that time). Ahahaha.. lawak nyer when I recall back how nervous I became :P. So how I came about to my problems? Well as for the problem with wrong colour, after the first few weeks, I couldn't care less. Hohoho... Pakai jer but yes Ummi bought me a new one when I got back from the first school holiday. As for my veil, before I bought a new tudung at my first outing, there was this girl who offered me her spare tudung. Sooooo angel of her kannnn. She offered her kindness just after a short while we became friend. I guess she must have seen me through (as I explained earlier, I was nervous and worried. Takut kena marah ngan cikgu :P hohoho).
Tengok.. I still haven't come to my main point. I could really go on and on when talking about my experience at mrsm.
Anyway, before Ummi and Daddy left, we had a short photo session in front of block D. So here's a thing about me... but honest speaking, this is just my speculation. When I looked at a mirror, I think I didn't actually 'see' myself but see what I 'want' to see. Let say I was brushing my teeth, I would only stare at my mouth. When I was doing my tudung, I looked at the tudung. The reason why I am saying this is because I didn't realise how my cheeks were sunken and thin I was! Not until after I got a letter from Daddy containing a few photos which were taken in front of block D. If only I were in Malaysia I would have put the photo of myself for you guys to judge. I was 39kg at that time.
After a year had past, there was this one point when people starting to tell me "amelia dah makin gemuk yerr" and I remember cikgu * said "amelia dah tak boleh masuk lompat tinggi dah" (I was on the high-jumped team although lompat tak laa tinggi mana :P) and the makcik DS telling me "kena bagi amelia sikit. amelia kena kurang makan". And yang paling best of all is "baju amelia dah ketat. jadi macam sarung nangka". Betul! I am not joking. Ahahaha.. adoi adoi... Takkan lah tak sedar? Believe it or not, I didn't! It was after I kept getting these 'concern' statement, I stared hard at the mirror thinking "dah gemuk ek?". I was at a whopping of 60kg when I got back for Raya holiday. Before I did the scale, I had the same reaction from all my family members. And again, I only admitted that I was FAT when I did the scale and seen my raya photos. Hohoho... Yes yes.. I had my puppy-fat stage which lasted for maybe around 6 months or so.
Alhamdulillah, I wasn't caught up into the danger zone of inferiority complex and mind play. I think one of the main reasons is my mind was continuously occupied with something else. Hence, I didn't really sit and think and get depressed over what people have said. And the other point why I didn't take my peers comments the negative way is because I always felt good about myself.
Feeling good about yourself makes you confidence. And having confidence is very important. It make you feel extra good and beautiful too (trust me on this one :P). And when you feel confidence and beautiful, you would establish a better perception and people impression. But of course, one is not suppose to become too over confidence though. Wasatiah is the key to remember. I am saying all this because I've seen how peers were trapped in their own minds trying to be someone else and hating becoming who they really are. You are the best the way you are. So embraced that. And you don't have to pretend to be someone else. Remember that. ;)
To conclude this entry, I take back all the bad things I've said about my mrsm. mrsm ** I LOVE YOU!!! :D
*photos from aton's blog