Wednesday, December 30, 2009


I finally got to watch Malcom X yesterday. My personal view on his interesting life - A charismatic and intelligent fine man and was extremely lucky in the sense that I believe that Allah had guided him all the way to peace.

In his early days, he was a normal lively bloke who then stumble into the used of drugs.. then came his new profession - burglary. Not long after that, he was convicted and sentenced ten years of hard labour in jail.

In the prison, he met with a guy who's a member of the so called Nation of Islam where then he listened to the man's preach and which MX later decided to join and became one of the famous leaders in NOI. The NOI is a religious organisation which their main aim is to influence the black community in America to basically change their way of life and become successful. Although the base of the organisation believe that Islam is the remedy to all the problems i.e. prostitution, drugs, alcohol and etc, part of its stand is somewhat false.

As we have heard so much. Hidayah had come to many in an unimaginable way. MX finally discover that there was some elements in NOI which oppose to his belief. In his journey to find peace, he found himself in Makkah, performing his Haj. There Allah opened his eyes and he saw that Islam is not only for the Black community but for all. Upon coming back from Haj, he made an open statement that he no longer stands for the NOI. At the age of 39, he passed away before the eyes of his audience in Audubon only less than a year when he found true teachings of Islam.

From wiki -
In a 1965 conversation with Gordon Parks, two days before his assassination, Malcolm said:

[L]istening to leaders like Nasser, Ben Bella, and Nkrumah awakened me to the dangers of racism. I realized racism isn't just a black and white problem. It's brought bloodbaths to about every nation on earth at one time or another.

Brother, remember the time that white college girl came into the restaurant—the one who wanted to help the [Black] Muslims and the whites get together—and I told her there wasn't a ghost of a chance and she went away crying? Well, I've lived to regret that incident. In many parts of the African continent I saw white students helping black people. Something like this kills a lot of argument. I did many things as a [Black] Muslim that I'm sorry for now. I was a zombie then—like all [Black] Muslims—I was hypnotized, pointed in a certain direction and told to march. Well, I guess a man's entitled to make a fool of himself if he's ready to pay the cost. It cost me 12 years.

That was a bad scene, brother. The sickness and madness of those days—I'm glad to be free of them.
How Islam is the key to everything.. so long as it is in the Al-Quran and the As-sunnah...

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Quick post

It's only a few nights away before I will be in charge of everything by myself again. Adus~ Cuak pun ada each time the thought of it comes by. Ummi, if you are reading this, this is no pity attempt to make you stay. Just wanting me to be all prepped up. :P

I was reminded by many of how the last few months before submission will be a dead tiring and a killing moment. And so in the next 4 months please excuse me if you see me somewhat disarray or if I might not be answering any calls or not turned up on any invitations... sigh...

p/s: have a deadline due 1st Jan 2010.. uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~

Friday, December 18, 2009

Happy anniversary to me n yaby! yeay~

I haven't finished typing the title for this entry when I received a call from Zu. Thanks Zu. And Happy advanced Anniversary to you!! Have a wonderful time in Melbourne dear! :D

So, 5 years ago, I was all kusut masai preparing for the big day. One thing I got from my wedding experience is - I really need to have a bigger family for my kids. But that said, I didn't blame my neighbours. I blame it on myself for didn't make any attempt to knock on their door and seek help. I would always felt sedey but laugh more when I recall how both Daddy and I was working on arranging the table for my receptions. And the next second, I was on the chair making sure the khemah was all good. Then came to decorating the meja pengantin. Ahahaha.. adoi lawak2.. There were so much to do yet so little people. But yang penting, with all the kekurangan on that day, Alhamdulillah dah selamat pun everything and I am grateful and happy tak terkiranya that I am married to Yaby. Thank you Allah.

So fast forward, it has been five years. Ohohoho, definitely the asam cuka added to the sweetness makes a wonderful 'acar'. Like Nuha was saying in the car yesterday, "orang lima tahun dah lima anak" yet I only have one. InsyaAllah there will be more soleh and solehah babies to come. Amiiinnn...

To my dearestest Yaby, I thank you for your patience, your lovingness and practicalness although I would hope that you would be less practical with the gifts :P. Thank you for everything and may Allah bless this love of ours. I love you Yaby. Happy anniversary! :D

True, there is no perfect match in this world but I know we could try to built at least close enough to a perfect match - louPo

p/s: there was a delay during the publishing because the author was caught out reading her past emails. :P

p/p/s: Happy new year! :)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Ketika Amelia Wong Azman watch cinta bertasbih~

Here's the thing.. I've just finished watching "Ketika Cinta Bertasbih". It's just superb!!! Far better than "Ayat-ayat Cinta" I would say.

My dear Yaby watched it two days ago and insisted me watching it too. And since then, he has been pestering me, wanting me to watch it immediately! As Yaby has put it, "cerita tu best giler!", indeed it is. Just for the record Yaby did say that he just can't wait for the part two to be released. And again, I agree! My God, it has a wonderful storyline.

You know how you sometimes scream in your head when you are reading a book or watch a movie of a love story genre.. yup, I have it the entire time! Even Twilight didn't manage to faze me at all!!

I seriously hope our teenagers will watch this. We just need more of Anna and Azzam!!! Portraying the best of Islam. If you haven't watched it, make sure you find time to watch it. You will love it!!!! ;)

I leave you guys with the soundtrack that wrench my heart! Sedeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy~ LOL :P

Lirik Lagu Ketika Cinta Bertasbih – Melly Goeslaw feat Amee

Ketika Cinta Bertasbih

Bertuturlah cinta
Mengucap satu nama
Seindah goresan sabdaMu dalam kitabku
Cinta yang bertasbih
Mengutus Hati ini
Kusandarkan hidup dan matiku padaMu

Bisikkan doaku
Dalam butiran tasbih
Kupanjatkan pintaku padamu Maha Cinta
Sudah di ubun-ubun cinta mengusik resah
Tak bisa kupaksa walau hatiku menjerit

Ketika Cinta bertasbih Nadiku berdenyut merdu
Kembang kempis dadaku merangkai butir cinta
Garis tangan tergambar tak bisa aku menentang
Sujud syukur padaMu atas segala cinta

Lirik Lagu Menanti Cinta Lyrics - Krisdayanti

Sejak lama aku berdiri
Dalam sepinya rongga hati
Tak satupun guru mampu menjawab

Hanya padaMU ku bertanya
Lewat setiap sujudku ini
Siapakah nanti cinta untukku

Wahai PENILAI HATI lihat batinku
Nyaris bernanah karna luka tersayat
Merana menantikan kisah dan kasih hidupku

Rahasia itu hanya KAU yang tahu
Namun aku tak mau jadi tuna cinta
Tuntun hatiku dalam sabar menanti jodohku

Hanya padaMU ku bertanya
Lewat setiap sujudku ini
Siapakah nanti cinta untukku

Wahai PENILAI HATI lihat batinku
Nyaris bernanah karna luka tersayat
Merana menantikan cinta dan kasih hidupku

Rahasia itu hanya KAU yang tahu
Namun aku tak mau jadi tuna cinta
Tuntun hatiku dalam sabar menanti jodohku

Rahasia itu hanya KAU yang tahu
Namun aku tak mau jadi tuna cinta
Namun harus ku ikhlaskan semua kasih cintaku

p/s: to my future babies, semoga grow up to be soleh and solehah! amiiiinnn

Sunday, December 13, 2009


Say one was born in a farmer family. Assuming every family member must carry on the legacy brought down in the family line. In this case, it is the farmer-ing thing. Now, some farmers have sticked with the old fashion way of farming while some have adopted new technologies onto their farms. And the most advanced farmers have installed almost everything a farmer could do and have also started teaching others on the importance of advanced technology. At the same time, these advanced farmers also encourage others to take up new expertise. So that many would perform a better job and produce more on their farm. Unfortunately though, the true advanced farmers are very small in numbers. Some who claims to be an advanced farmers are simply just not.

Now, it is up to every new farmer to be the best at farm. A farmer could choose to start changing technology as soon as possible. It is true that by changing and adding new technology on a farm, also means more hard work on the farmer's part. What a farmer could do is to start looking for the advanced farmers to learn from them. Another way is to read and understand the manual to grasp new knowledge and should become unsure of anything, a farmer should then consult the expert of the new technology.

In the farmers' world, it is planted in every farmer's heart to be the best so that they too could one day help and teach others on new knowledge and expertise. However, here is where some farmers think that they should only teach and encourage others once they have a huge flourish farms and have conquered every farming skills. To these farmers they think it would give a better influence to others. But some disagree to this. To them, the best way is to help wherever and whenever one can as long as it is the true farming knowledge.

And just like any other working prospect, among the farmers, some felt that their doing is enough. To them as long as they have a farm, that is enough despite how flourish is their farm. Some farmers become lazy and spent more time having fun. This trend is multiplying by numbers. Sadly too, there were also cases where farmers stopped being a farmer. These farmers have forgotten what they were born to become. And in the farmer's world, this is the worst that could happen to a farmer.

Most farmers agree that actions need to be done to curb these problems. They agree that these farmers need to be reminded so that they won't abandon their farms as well as to make them remember the purpose of becoming a farmer. They need to be reminded the benefit of becoming a farmer and that if they continue the way they are, they won't be having enough produce to live their lives.

While some farmers believe that this job can be done by any farmers where farmers should care for other farmers, some farmers thinks that this is the job only suited for advanced farmers. And so all they did is to sit and observe from afar.

-The end-

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Have you seen this baby?

Insyirah insisted on carrying her own wheely bag which can both be helpful as well as troublesome at times. :P hehehehe... This is taken at the Melbourne airport.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The best remedy~

During my last conference, while waiting for the keynote speech to start, I was sitting next to a fine lady who is 1 year in her PhD quest. She mentioned that she has a poster to be presented that evening. And so, when I told her that I am in my final year and have a baby in my second year she went, "I am single and I still find it hard to focus on my research". She then told me one of her friend's jokes on PhD. The friend of hers said, "Make sure you get a wife not a husband when you are doing your PhD. You need someone to cook for you and care for you not the other way round". If it wasn't because I was in a room filled with intellectual people, I would have laugh my heart out.

Since I am married to a 'husband' and have Insyirah as well as home to take care of and no extra money to pay for a maid, I can only resolve to the wasiat left by our beloved Prophet Muhammad pbuh. Remember the time when Fatima was complaining about some house chores and thought of having a servant to help her. She mentioned the problems to Aisha' who then informed Prophet Muhammad. And this is what Prophet Muhammad says,

"Shall I direct you to something better than what you have requested? When you go to bed say 'SubhanAllah' thirty three times, 'Alhamdulillah' thirty three times, and Allahu Akbar' thirty four times, for that is better for you than a servant." Sahih Bukhari: Volume 7, Book 64, Number 274
I recall one of K Juju questions in one of our group seating a few years back, on how we could contemplate the true meaning of SubhanAllah when we are saying it. Like she said, it is easy for Alhamdulillah since we could connect it to ourselves to being grateful with what have been given to us. And as for AllahukAkbar, simply by relating it to the abundance of almost every existing in this world. At that time, when I did the SubhanAllah zikr, I too found it difficult to really embrace it. And so I thought maybe I could share it here especially to those of you who haven't found 'your' way to 'beriman' with SubhanAllah.

Since SubhanAllah means "Glorious is Allah" or "Maha Suci Allah", and so when I am doing the zikr, I would think of it this way;"Since You Allah is the Glorious one and Maha Suci, who wouldn't make any mistake, assist me in my everyday life so I shall make less mistakes... You Allah who is all perfect, hence, help me in striving to be a perfect wife, a mother, a student and a muslim..."

Oh look at the time, it's lunch time and I bet Ina is waiting patiently for me to go knocking on her office door. Till then. ;)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Quick post

It's 3.58am... I mean 2.59am now Brisbane local time...

Before I came to login into blogger I was browsing the catalogue. Yup. I am still actually have some of the tabs left open.

Am I a shopaholic? I wouldn't say I am. But do I love shopping? Hmm... I would honestly say that it is building. Having Yaby would ensure that I would still have the balance right since he would keep me away from wandering too far. Hihi...

Anyway, it's the time of the year again when people will be seeing with massive amount of shopping bags and of course the once or twice occasions when you felt that you've bumped one another before and your head just went "de javu" but can't remember for sure. Yup. It's the Christmas sale.

I just went from "Nak! Nak!" to "Shoot! Where should I go first, Target or BigW?". But the thing is, I am having a conference right now. :( On the positive side, I have finished my presentation yesterday which I think I did quite well.

I did stare hard into my timetable again just to see if I could make a quick dash to any of the nearby store. And I might just found the time to do so. That is of course, without Yaby to say "Tak payah laa beli" having around which would increase the amount of doubt in my head or Insyirah that would mean I wouldn't have both hands to grab stuff. HohOHOHohohoHO.. <-- tetiba terasa kejam.

I know that I had to put something more fun than my previous post.. FAST. Just because I don't want my dear reader to felt how I bad I felt for too long, hence this merapu post. Hehe.. Thanks for all the encouraging words be it posted here or in the email or in the ym. I love you guys! Thank you so much. I am a whole lot better now.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Quick post

You know how you sometimes felt that you were almost there. You saw the light at the other far end of the tunnel. But all of a sudden, the light became dim and slowly disappear. And you once again felt lost. You then increased your pace to the direction of the light that was once there. Wanting to see that light again. Badly. In the process of making your way there, you tripped and hurt yourself due to the darkness. You walk a little further, now slowly. Soon enough, you grew tired. You began to hear little voices in your head telling you just maybe you should give up. That you would never see the light again. Tears started to build. Before you knew it, you have burried your face in your hands. Thinking that there was no more hope.

Adeh~ that's how I feel right now except that I haven't broken down to tears and insyaAllah still not given up laa. Just feeling all down and stressed out. Sigh~ See... it happened again. One day I was all pumped up, the next I felt like a lost child. Seriously. Nasib ada Insyirah who since just now insist me playing with her. And it's nearly 12am now. Oh Insyirah, takmo tido ker? Indeed children equals to happiness. I wonder what would I do should I have to send Insyirah back home to complete my thesis? Who would distract me from my problems? As of now, I am still undecided.

Ya Allah, please give me the strength to complete my study. So that I can have a piece of mind and have more babies! :D Amin~

p/s: congrats Pn Rose for that wonderful news! :)

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Leading passage~

In my chat with my sister today, I told her of my plan to becoming a millionaire (in a joking manner laa of course). Hohoho... Earlier, when I said to Yaby "Boleh ke if we have the intention nak jadi kaya?", Yaby answered, "Rasulullah pun kata berusahalah seperti akan hidup seratus tahun". And so, that was when I say just maybe I should reinstate one of my ambition again. (We will see just how far I will put it into action ;) :P)

Now, back to my chatting. And so, during my conversation with my sister, that is after telling her that I want to be kaya-raya, she told me, "any road you take will take you to the same destination". That was when the statement appear to me as something that I could do some thinking. I am not saying that you must agree with what I am saying, but I too have always seen it that way.

I then asked Yaby, "Yaby, in the case if I didn't meet you at college, where do you think we would meet?"

"Hmm? Memang dah takdir kite jumpa kat college.", replied Yaby.

"Alaa Yaby. Cuba laa fikir. Like for example, mana tau we have actually crossed road and dah jumpa each other many times masa kecik when you visited your makcik (since Yaby makcik's house is quite close to my house. It also happen to be I am in the same school with Yaby's cousins. And we used to go to the surau in front of Yaby's makcik house to do terawih. And not to forget to mention we have buy food at Yaby makcik's kedai several times before). Cuma, we didn't talk to each other."

Our discussion then led me to search for the fourth hadith from the famous 40 hadith. It is on Al-Qadar. Dah lama dah not being reminded.

Abu 'Abd al-Rahman 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported: The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, the most truthful, the most trusted, told us:
"Verily the creation of any one of you takes place when he is assembled in his mother's womb; for forty days he is as a drop of fluid, then it becomes a clot for a similar period. Thereafter, it is a lump looking like it has been chewed for a similar period. Then an angel is sent to him, who breathes the ruh(spirit) into him. This Angel is commanded to write Four decrees: that he writes down his provision (rizq), his life span, his deeds, and whether he will be among the wretched or the blessed.
I swear by Allah - there is no God but He - one of you may perform the deeds of the people of Paradise till there is naught but an arm's length between him and it, when that which has been written will outstrip him so that he performs the deeds of the people of the Hell Fire; one of you may perform the deeds of the people of the Hell Fire, till there is naught but an arm's length between him and it, when that which has been written will overtake him so that he performs the deeds of the people of Paradise and enters therein." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]
I remember during Aslam's class on chapter Qadr from the Riyadhus Salihin, one of the audience asked "How do we explain to a non-believer when they said, if everything has been pre-determined i.e. someone will end up in heaven or hell, then why bother doing good deeds?". Even after hearing the skema jawapan from Aslam, I still find it difficult to explain to others. But going through the text from the link above, I think I have found a good way of explaining Qadr.

...Some people, on hearing this hadith (the fourth hadith) as it is and without further explanation, might feel despair, fearing that they fall into the bad group of people mentioned. This will lead to determination (jabriah) - they may think that no matter what they do, if their end has already been written, then why should they bother to do good deeds. This is the wrong attitude to have as it is based on a wrong perception. Allah is Just. We should trust Allah. If we are good to Allah and trust Him, He will be good to us. We should be optimistic and not pessimistic. We follow Allah's commands and make the effort to be good Muslims and we should not despair...

Al-Qadar can be categorized as:
  1. Al-Qadar al-Kulli - the general qadar which has been recorded by Allah in Al-Lauhulmahfudz or the Preserved Tablet.
  2. Al-Qadar al-Sanawi - the annual qadar which takes place once a year (Lailatul qadar) - where it matchs what has been written in Al-Lauhulmahfudz.
What has been written in Al-Lauhulmahfudz is only known to Allah. It is not revealed to us - we don't know about our destiny, what our rizq is, where we'll end up, etc. To us it is ghaib and unknown. The translation of this hadith using the word "overtake" may not give the true meaning if it were to be understood that whatever has been recorded by the angels will be "imposed" on a person's life. We are simply being told about Ilmu Allah or the ultimate knowledge of Allah. What has been written does not cause us to do what we do. It is not a cause and affect situation, as believed by many Muslims. Many Muslims believe that as it has already been written, therefore this will cause us to do whatever has been written. The truth is even though it has been written and even though we will do it, we will not do it because it has been written. It is actually an association, or a matching. What we are going to do matches the knowledge of Allah, because Allah's knowledge is ultimate. In other words, what we are going to do matches what has been written. This shows the glory of Allah, the ultimate knowledge of Allah. So we should not have the understanding that things are imposed on us. Otherwise this will nullify the whole concept of iman (faith) and the whole concept of Creation and all other related concepts.
...We are responsible for what we choose and for what we do....

You could fine more of the forty hadith here.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

It's that day again...

This morning I woke up to the warm-cake-baking smells in the air. Ummi was baking a chocolate cake. Besides the cake we've no other plan. I thought of like laying back at home. After all, I've declared on Jijoy's birthday party which was twenty days earlier, telling them "OK aaa, korang takyah nak buat surprise2. Memang tak akan surprise punya".

So I did the washing, twice. Later help Ummi with the frosting. That was when Nuha called telling me "wei, I ada masak nasi lemak. Datang my place jom.". Of course the sense of "aaa.. is this Nuha's attempt to surprise me" came to mind. Especially after I said,

"Alaa, you makan ajer laa. Tak pun you pack tuk you makan2 masa you kuar nanti." (since she said they are planning to go out)
"Susah laa. Tak nak pack. You datang macam sepuluh suku or sepuluh setengah camtu tau."

I knew Yaby couldn't have been in komplot since Yaby acted like any other weekend morning.

So here's the thing. I knew I need to cepat since Nuha told me that she has planned for her sister and brother-in-law who have just arrived to visit 'some' place. That I believe. Ye laa, since Jijoy is working during weekdays, hence, biler lagi nak spent time with the family. Secondly, I kinda expect Sha might be there but I was telling myself "alaa, boleh kot if I went there for my 'surprise' breakfast without mandi". Yes! Yes yes... You didn't read it wrong neither it was a typo. If I was to have a bath and same goes to Insyirah, I knew it will take more than 30minutes laa kan. Adeh~

We arrived there close to 10:45. At one point when I knocked the door, I could here Nuha giggling mischievously. At that point, in my heart I was saying "aaa.. betul laa this is a surprise". When I opened the door, there was the 'surprise' shout. Sha was holding a cake with Nuha by her side. But they weren't the only person there. There were also Adi, Asmah, Shidah, Emma, Rahmat, Noreen, Saipol, Achong, Nuha's sister and BIL, Latape, Nazim and Ruji's family and of course all the little one!!! I was left stunned at the door. Surprised nak mampos. Adoi~ and the first thing that came to my mind, "I tak mandi weiii". Thanks to Nuha's expertise in making announcement, everyone knew that I didn't mandi this morning. Sigh~~~~~ Malu tahap gaban wei~ (Nuha, you jangan laa buat I macam ni lagi lepas ni :P).

Latape was telling me, "ee.. kenapa datang rumah orang tak mandi?". And as Emma has put it, "lepas ni surely mandi punya". Yup. Lesson learned. Later, Lan and Zu added to the crowd. Eventually it came to my knowledge that Yaby and Ummi have known all along. Ciss~

So that's the surprise. I am 27 today. Thank you everyone. You guys make my day today. May Allah accept all the prayers today. Amin. Also thanks to everyone who send me smses, wishes on FB wall and on YM. ;) :D

Ummi's chocolate cake...

Sha's cheese cake...

p/s: To people in Klang, the brithday card has arrived. Thank you. And ti, next time in the card, doa for chemi to have a better year in 2010 ye. Sebab if 2009, dah nak abih dah 2009 ni. :P hohoho <--demand!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Make believe!!!

"I think I'll try defying gravity".. hohoho...

Tak tipu. Time flies really-really-really fast these days. Tengok, dah Friday again.

Anyway, last.. (let me think jap.. adoi, Ahad ker Sabtu..) Saturday during our trip to the 'valley' (where the halal meat and Asian groceries can be found), it was dead hot. I knew Yaby was going to say 'it' at the third stop of traffic light.

"Tengok, bile hari panas terik mesti semua traffic light jadi merah."

Yup, that was his usual remark. Heard it enough to be remembered. So I was telling him,

"Yaby, it's because you 'make believe' the things you said."
"Mana ada", Yaby answered

As usual, both of us love to argue on the littlest thing. Hohoho.. So it became a subject of our trip. If I must record everything it here, it's going to take you hours to finish reading. LOL... but we ended up with something like,

"Seriously Yaby. Like the story 23 tu. After that 23 incident, that guy yang then cuba connect everything with the number 23."
"Hmm.. itu betul. Yasir pun dah perasan actually. Tapi yang 'make believe' tu tak betul." <-- seperti biasa laa kan :P.

I remember when I had that small intention of buying an ipod, pergi mana2, it was as if everyone has one. Tak kiralah while walking to the train station ker, or the person next to me in the train ker, or the person walking in front of me ker, or the people waiting at the bus stop ker, or the person sitting adjacent to me in the bus ker, or the makcik who came out from the car in the front parking lot ker, pendek kata "they are every where!". And the thing is, in my mind at that time I have this notion of "everyone has an ipod". But once I got it, it's like the view I had once before vanished. Yilek~ One: sebab I already have one and so couldn't care less about others, and Two: too busy looking at my ipod or lost in midst of listening to my audio book :P..

Nak di jadikan cerita, I was telling Yaby,

"Nanti tengok laa. On the way back nanti, semua traffic light will turn green."

The first traffic light was red but the second, third, fouth and fifth was green. I pun apa lagi,

"Haaaaaaaaaaaa.. hijau lagi.. hijau lagi... although it was still scorching."
"Mana ada, ni dah mendung. Haa.. tengok biler dah panas lampu merah" (yup, the sixth was red)
"Aik.. hijau lagi... hijau lagi"
"Lampu yang ini memang selalu hijau laaa", said Yaby tak puas hati.
"Hijau lagi.. "
"Tengok.. biler panas merah"
"Uiks Yaby, hijau laa. Depan tu pun hijau. Hijau lagi.. hijau lagi kan Yaby. Padahal yang ini jarang hijau bile lalu."

At this point Yaby mengelat laa...
"Tengok merah lagi."
"eii.. Yaby, dari semua baru tiga ok merah."
"Dah empat OK", replied Yaby and started to put it to count.
"Wah banyak nyer sampai terkira"

Obviously we didn't declare who's the winner of the 'argument competition' of that day. Why bother stating the obvious! :P

Whether one would accept 'make believe' or not, a term which I got from my ex-housemate Yati, I think it, by part and parcel, can have an effect on you. When I was soooo giler with all the motivational material, I still remember them telling like, "start your day looking at bright colours" (yang ini Yaby setuju pulak. Since as Yaby has put it, by looking at colours, we could absorb the energy from the different wavelength), "look at the mirror and tell yourself you are better today' and so on and so forth... which I think based on the 'make believe'. I believe if one do that added to the daily doa and solat hajat, insyaAllah would be the best way to keep the positive energy inside you. And macam iklan Duracel, it will last longer, insyaAllah.

p/s: So beware of what you are thinking. HohohoHOHOHohoho :P

Friday, November 13, 2009

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

On the note~

Just got the first feedback from sv. I love the feedback. InsyaAllah IT SHALL BE THE PERFECT PIECE! :D <-- as ummi has put it ;) OK, I'm all pumped up. Today has been such a great day! :)

Forgive and forget~

The weather.. check! *all cloudy and somewhat cool and breezy*
The environment.. half a check~ *at the office.. need to complete my writing but there's a tune playing in the background*

Hmm.. what a perfect moment to stay all mushy...

It's always easier to said than done... this statement is one-hundred-percent true! For instance, there's the "Forgive and forget".

Adeh~ just a while ago, I received a text message from D. In the message D was telling me how D is worry about things. And at the same time, D told me how lonely D felt without M around. This is not the first time D expressed D-self that way. I replied telling D not to worry too much and who knows maybe one day M will come back. D replied back telling me that no matter what, D will always care for M. Mana tak I felt all blue.

I must have got this sensitive side from Daddy. HOhohohohOHOho... And I believe my strong-self must have come from Ummi. While Daddy's letters are more of a "melancholy" tone, Ummi's letters sent to me have always been all "cheery-and-good". And yes, I had survived my many years being apart from home thanks to these two great people who kept believing in myself and kept me company with their letters. :)

Anyway, before I went astray too far from the actual topic :P, what I was trying to say is, sometimes, there might be a decision that we've made that little did we know lingers to haunt us for a quite some times. We wish badly to go back in time to undone our actions. We wish for the other person to forget and accept. But maybe.. just maybe he or she was too hurt.. even when thousands apologies have been accepted.

We human are useless without the guide from Him. You see, "follow your heart" can NOT always be the best move to every situation. Especially when the turmoil was at its peak and emotion was running wild. Always return to Him. He's the best Helper in everything.

To dear D and M, I pray for the best for the both of you.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

On the note~

Something lawak just happened...

I opened my internet browser to check on how to retract evidence blaa blaa (with regards to my work). And the google is by default my start page. If you happen to open it today, you'll notice that it has a cookie monster on it. So I was curious and wanted to see what it has got to do with cookie monster and found out that it's the 40th anniversary for sesame st. Having known that, I clicked on the search bar to type "retracting evidence" but instead type "anniversary..." Punyer laa sekejap dah hilang focus... LOL

p/s: sabar amelia... your's is next to come. hohoho

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Having FUN with PhD still~ :)

"Ummi, I have finished my work. Do you want me to help with other work?", pondered little Insyirah

"Aaa... yes yes.. Insyirah, you could help Ummi with my research. Nak?", answered Insyirah's Ummi.

"Baik Ummi. Where do you want me to begin? Do you want me to summarise for you this book here?", said little Insyirah.

Alamak~~ bestnyer if Insyirah could really do this. :P Hohohoho....

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Under threat~

Last Friday, in the Fiqh class (which I regretted not attending), they touched on a subject which is overwhelmingly compelling for me to share it here as soon as I heard it from Yaby. If only I wasn't too 'tired' staring at my monitor and punching letters on my keyboard (oh, alasan yang soooooo tidak valid :P).

So I was naive. Totally~ For me to actually not to think that this 'could' happen. I mean, I would not have thought for a PhD research title of "Strategies in bringing down people with Religion" say for example. Sharing this is useful since I felt that we need to be aware of our surroundings. Especially when you are a Muslim.

In the Fiqh class, Aslam mentioned of a group known as the RAND corporation short form for Research ANd Development. It's a non profit, semi non-official think tank for the *let me just highlighted it here* United State armed forces. So, basically from my little research and reading, what they exactly do are analysis and research on almost anything and everything that could benefit them as in the US lah.

But we are not talking simple research analysis. Who would have known that they felt so threatened by Islam that they conducted years of study to come out with hundreds of pages of papers. One which was highlighted yesterday (although I haven't manage to read all through) is on strategies on bringing down Islam. But of course, they didn't use a direct sentence to describe their actions like I did. Instead, they said, I quote, "to identify appropriate partners and set realistic goals and means to encourage its (Islam) evolution in a positive way". In the summary it continues "Clearly, the United States, the modern industrialized world, and indeed the international community as a whole would prefer an Islamic world that is compatible with the rest of the system: democratic, economically viable, politically stable, socially progressive, and follows the rules and norms of international conduct".

So my questions is, what does it mean by compatible again? And who really sets the "rules and norms of international conduct"? And did I see the word 'prefer' in the statement which implies that the human logical mind has intervene yet again. And please, what do they mean by 'norm'?

Like say for example, a kid would prefer an ice-cream and sweets over vegetable. If the kid is the person who sets the rules for the daily meal, then surely there will be more ice-cream and sweets over vegetable. There might even be the case where vegetables are out of the menu. The reason for this is simple. It's because they love the taste of the sweets and ice-cream despite the fact that there are no nutrition in the junk foods. But if a parent is in charge of the menu, a sane parent would definitely put vegetables in the kid's menu simply because of the clear fact that eating vegetables is a healthy habit. And to some families, the 'norm' intake of ice-cream and sweets might be once a day but another family might strictly have ice-cream and sweets intake only once a month. So you see, just by using simple language, we could see what a bull this people are doing and they claim to be professional analysist. Duhh~~~

A true muslim believer didn't make their own rules but follows what Allah has given in the form of As-Sunnah and the Quran. Allah knows what is best for His 'people'. What we human think as 'good' might not be as good after all. This is because, the knowledge of a human being is limited and can be easily interfere by our own ideology and lusts. This is simply because we are just human.

All I can say is that, this is another hidden campaign, camouflage beneath different skins. They have come to us in so many ways such as the news, tv shows, advertisements, books and etc. They have come to destroy Islam in a STRUCTURED manner. Who would have thought...

But seriously, why are they so afraid of Islam? Oopps. Did I just asked an obvious question? But seriously... can't they just leave us in peace. Oopps. Did I just said that although knowing that that is our purpose here in this life?

*** additional notes

It is state that the paper was intended to fight extremist. However, while they claim that the strategies are to curb radical and extremist in Islam, from the way I see it, they are implementing it on fundamental Islam itself.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Embrace every moment...

So yesterday, I was eating ice-cream while Insyirah was having her 'botol'. I guessed she must have been tempted from the way I was eating the double chocolate ice-cream since she put away her bottle and saying 'nak.. nak..' just after a couple of blinks. I surrendered to her persistent request after watching her sheer determination to have a taste of the ice-cream.

After a while, I was saying, "Insyirah.. see.. all comot now". Mak was the first to introduced the word 'comot' to Insyirah and since then she has been using the word 'mo-mot' to describe her teddy koala. Anyway, as I was saying "comot..comot" and at the same time, wiping off the ice-cream using the back of my hand, she looked at me and said "Mimi mo-mot (Ummi comot)". And surprisingly, she used the back of her hand to wipe an ice-cream mark on my lips. How could I not laughed...

And so, after we had the ice-cream session, I told Insyirah it was time to bed. I put her down and gave her the bottle. Soon after, I laid next to her, put my hand around her and gave her a snug. That was when she pulled off my spectacles, put it on the sofa and said "c'leep..c'leep (sleep.. sleep)" while at the same time used her hand to cover my eyes. And when I put back my glasses on and said "You sleep. Ummi wants to watch TV", she pulled it off again and wants me to go to sleep too. Adoi~~ Yes, I off everything right after that and soon she was asleep.

Alhamdulillah, I have had the chance to experience all this. I knew not all of us are lucky.

A friend of mine, posted on her blog of a story which is so disheartening. It would easily put anyone down to tears. It was a story of a baby who was just 108days old when she passed away. And she was their first child. When I read the post written by the mother, I could feel how strong she is and admire hers as well as her husband's courage in facing this test given by Allah. I pray that she would continue to be strong and for her to be blessed with a child soon.

After reading the entry, it only makes me feel that we should not left a second passes us by without being grateful and to not take our family for granted. Just simply because they are around today, doesn't guaranteed that they'll be with us tomorrow. Let them know for sure that we love them... before it is too late.

p/s: Al-fatihah to Nur Fatimah

Monday, October 26, 2009

How to be a successfull husband? - from Islamic perspective

This is the first time I actually read this, hence, I thought might as well share it here. So the ten tips start with:

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wasallam - had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi Allahu'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.

6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!

7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

8. Don't be little her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wasallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi Allahu'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try to be the best!

The author's (Muhammad AlShareef) conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best !!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

It's fun I tell you :)

I wonder how I could make PhD journey a fun thing to do! Hmmm... *thinking*

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


adeh.. lapar.

Anyway, one of the emails in my inbox today is on H1N1 vaccination. While I wasn't among the recommended people to get the vaccination,
Yaby is. He's in the category of "People with underlying chronic conditions" i.e. having asthma. And so the question really comes down to whether to have it or not.

I am quite sure many have got circulation emails stating that H1N1 is a genetically modified viruses.. in another email H1N1 is claimed to be a conspiracy scheme led by the US to gain profit from people buying the vaccination in order to improve their economy.. and the latest that I received was a study on the vaccination itself which indicates that the vaccination could decrease life
expectancy and can jeopardise the human reproduction system. <-- not verified though I personally kesian to those who are listed in the 'recommended people' since surely to some, they might have the big question mark hanging on their head i.e. "Is this really the best option?"

Friday, October 16, 2009

An open letter to Yaby.. :P

Since mid this year, I've been pestering yaby (again) to buy non practical stuff as a gift for our fifth year anniversary (I realized the idea has always come and go. hohoho).

Ever since we are both together, I've got mostly electronic gadgets from him like an ipod or a handphone. For this occasion too, he did suggest a brand new plasma tv or a new laptop as a better gift for me.

I know Yaby.. I know. It's a waste of money buying those stuff since we can't actually 'use' it. But you know.. I am just being a woman. I've tried to stay as practical as I could. But at times, that inner voice, keeps echoing. Reminding myself that I need to pamper myself with all those beautiful things. Nak buat macam mana Yaby.

Yaby, I know that it's not that often that you would open my blog. But in case you happen to read this, this is my attempt to use pantun as a means to pujuk you laaa. Hope you can see it through me how badly I want for a Pandora! LOL

Saw a bus coming into Sir Fred,
Quickly kejar for wanting a bus so bad,
Oh yaby please laa I beg,
Ni every 5 years aje I get.

Tengok kiri kanan then I crossed the road laju macam jet,
Lucky the kind hearted driver waited for me to get on,
Oh yaby, its not that I want a complete set,
You buy me two or three charms dulu jer then baru move on.

Alhamdulillah I reached the office safely,
As usual, Friday the office can be quite sunyi sepi,
Oh yaby, you are my one and only,
If yaby beli memang confirm Po happy giler b*bi!!! :P

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

yes please...

OK, I have 15 minutes before I have to start working again.

Yesterday night I had this one funny yet scary dream. I can't recall most of the scenes in the dream but I remember the part that left me awake.

In that dream, I make someone dear to me upset. As in big time disappointed.

In the dream she asked me "Are you sure that you like being a Malaysian?". I said 'Of course'. Then she said, "then why are you talking in that intonation (In**nesian)?". With a laugh, I answered "Itu main2 je laaa". Then she continued bombarded me with other questions of "why I do this" and "why is that". And one the most hilarious question is "dah tu, how come you don't know who is Datuk K?". Just to keep the record straight, I know who is Datuk K and I am quite sure the name was registered in my unconscious mind since I just had a little discussion on Siti's life a few days ago.

Later in the dream I was trying hard to appologize and convince her that I love Malaysians.

To be honest, this had happened to me once in real life. Only is, the case was different. Yup, without realising, I actually made someone close to me 'terasa hati' for just being myself and acting the way I always am. And yes, tears was spilled during the confrontation.

It is just really hard to please and make everyone happy. We could try but we could never really be sure. So I say, we do have to try to bersangka baik as much as we could. And there are times when we just have to let something masuk telinga kiri and keluar telinga kanan. Hohohoho

That's it. My 15minutes. Happy working people! ;)

p/s: still have 3 minutes to bancuh tea. Yeay~

Monday, October 12, 2009

On the note~ having lunch....

On the note, it's almost a week since Insyirah stop BF-ing and yesterday night Insyirah shows a positive 'sleeping' pattern. One thing that I've got from all this wanting-to-stop-BF-ing is that BF-ing is really the best option. You don't have to worry if the 'output' is ever going to finish and seriously you don't have to bother waking up rushing to the kitchen and to warm the fresh milk before Insyirah start screaming. :P LOL

Friday, October 9, 2009


Thought of like giving a quick update on Insyirah since some of you have been asking on it.

Alhamdulillah, Insyirah has managed to drink whole milk from the bottle. And yes, I am giving her fresh whole milk instead of formula. The only reason for that is because, Insyirah doesn't seems to like the taste of the formula. We have tried three brand which all ended up her drinking only a few ounces. That said, I am giving her kids multivitamin.

So she can kinda sleep on her own now. That's a very good thing. Hence, no more facebook via mobile session for me. But she do call for her BM once or twice. And when I said "do you mean 'bottle'?", she will quickly say 'BOTOL'. hehe...

*******************original post********************

Today.. opps, I mean, yesterday, I made my biggest decision ever. I've decided to stop giving BM to Insyirah.

It is a heart breaking moment... at least for myself. *sigh* As of now, it has been ten hours since Insyirah has a little taste of 'me'.

I have to. It is for sure a sacrifice on Insyirah's part. This last three months, is very crucial. I need an excellent result while at the same time start my write up. In other words, extra focus and more alone time. I am sorry baby Ummi. This 'torment' of yours will end soon InsyaAllah.

Of course the thought of "am I being ridiculously selfish" came across my mind. But I just don't see an alternative. Insyirah literally clings to me. She wanting my attention. And so I thought maybe, maybe what makes her clings to me is the fact that I am BF-ing her. Maybe, if I stopped, it would be easier for others to step-in and comfort her. Maybe, she would learned to be more independent faster. Although I didn't really want the latter point a hundred percent. *sigh*

There have been times when I felt I am becoming 'stupid' and if only I could be like one of my senior who are able to finish in three years despite that she had a pregnancy each year which are all$ boys. Salute to her. When I let my heart out to Cz, she reminded me of the 'wheel'. There are the good times and the bad times. She said I might going through one of the toughest time and soon I might found a greater success once the wheel turns again. ameeeen. InsyaAllah.

OKlah, it's 1:35am now. There are much waiting left for me tomorrow. To all of you who are experiencing the same road as I am, jom do more solat hajat and remind ourselves to put trust to Allah. Yakin that He will help and guide us.

Good night peeps... :)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

it's THE climb

So valid with all this PhD thingy... my latest 'love' song :P


The Climb

Songwriters: Alexander, J; Mabe, J;

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

So I was told to fill one box with items which I felt can be put away before I left for Australia again. My sister has this little idea of a garage sale. In a way I knew that it was about time to clean up my growing up 'treasure' that has been occupying much room in my used-to-be bedroom.

Now, in front of me are three spaces; a plastic bag as bin, a box for items that I am keeping and finally the item-for-sale box. Among my 'treasure' was a padlock with no keys that could go with it and a scribble 'kenangan 5r'. Then there is also a tin can with writing on it 'kenangan mrsmkp 1998', a rock with writings, a cup with more writings... LOL... Each time I was holding an item, I would try to remember the origin of the item. That was the easy and best part of the whole cleaning process. The difficult part was to put them where they will future belong. *sigh* In the end, with much hesitation, I finally manage to complete my given task.

Then there were my scrapbooks which gave me a really good laugh when I was going through them again. I better bury these books sooner than later :P...

Just for this entry, I thought of sharing some of the quotes that I have collected in my Quote and Poem book.

"They say a person need just these things to be truly happy in this world; someone to love, something to do and something to hope for." - Tom Bodat

"Siapa yang bergantung kepada kekayaan, maka dia akan merasai seribu kekurangan. Siapa yang bergantung kepada pangkat, maka dia akan merasai seribu kehinaan. Dan siapa yang bergantung kepada akal, maka dia akan sesat. Tetapi siapa yang bergantung kepada Allah, maka dia tidak akan merasai kekurangan, kehinaan dan sesat."

Friday, September 18, 2009


Today I passed by Federal highway. Can't believe there has been so many changes in just 9 months.

Upon reaching home, I saw this one advertisement on the billboard which made me go "pergh.. yea right". If only it is true, Malaysia will be a better country in a very short period of time.

Oh yes, did I say I am in Malaysia for Raya :P

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Reporting the 27th Yaby

It's Yaby's birthday once more. Yesterday after sahur, I was thinking whether I could surprise Yaby this year. Something different for a change. My mind was telling me that I bet he would never suspected it since 1) it's was the 7th, 2) there's not much of meat left in the freezer and 3) i could cook senyap2 in the dapur without him noticing. But I did not come to a decision until it was almost 1pm.

They say what is a birthday without a cake. And so, because I knew if I bake a cake Yaby would definitely suspected something, I've asked Nuha to susun Sha's cupcakes to surprise him. Each sms that I sent and received from Nuha yesterday was deleted. Punya laa berusaha. And what come in handy was the fact that we had buyer to come to see our stuff around 5pm which lasted until quite close to breaking fast time. I had taken the chance to delay Yaby from makan first and said why not we do our maghrib first. That was when the suspicion arises. *Sigh... * While I was praying, I forgot to hide my mobile and Nuha smsed "arrived in 5-10min"
AND Yaby read it. Adoi... crash boom bang... but as later told by Yaby, I covered it well but my huge fatal mistakes was.. I forgot to close my bedroom window!!! Cisss!! So Yaby heard me talking to Nuha downstairs. The idea is, when Nuha and Jijoy arrived with the cake, I would go down with Insyirah to clear the bin and then surprisekan Yaby. *Sigh*

We climbed the stairs slowly. And as I entered the house to check if Yaby was in the lounge and while Nuha and Jijoy trying to light the bunga api thingy, that was when Yaby said "meh aku tiup" from behind the stairs! Double cisss!!! LOL...

Anyway, happy birthday Yaby dearest. May you will continue to become the best hubby for me! Hohohoho... And my prayer is for you to become the best of mukmin insyaAllah.

Love ya both!!! :D

Monday, September 7, 2009

My rock star voice

This morning I woke up 'speech-less'... Hoho... My voice just couldn't be heard anymore. It was as if I was whispering. It is all thanks to some kind of infection. InsyaAllah today I will find my way to the GP (after more than a week of having a cold :p ).

This year I had back to back flu-cold like symptoms. Usually I would only have it once a year. Memang an ujian for me this Ramadhan. I remember a GP who told me that there are just thousands of viruses that could cause flu or cold. So one would generally get a lot of free running mucus down one's nose experience in a lifetime.

Speaking (not literally ;p) of health, I remember how my young self would hate so much to see the doctor, and how like most kids that I knew would still play in the field or go to school for not wanting to miss out the fun game time. Pendek kata, I seldom see the doctor.

But now having kids of my own, whenever insyirah has a temperature, the first place I would want to go is the health center. LOL... Just wanting to hear that she's having nothing more than just a common fever or flu.

I remember Ummi's words whenever I am not feeling well, "Bila kita tak sihat, maksudnya Allah sayang".When asked what it means the first time, Ummi told me that "sakit ni penghapus dosa. Nanti boleh masuk syurga". Hearing that especially when I was REALLY sick could surely put a smile on my face.

Semoga berguguranlah dosa-dosa ku Ya Allah...


Just got back from the GP and the verdict: It is virus infection. Give your voice-box some rest. You'll get back your voice in a few days (<-- which is the same as I've got from reading on the internet). Come back if you still haven't got your voice in 3 weeks. (Is this perli or what?)

Tell me, why do I waste 45 minutes waiting to get a consultation again? :P LOL

-via ks20